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Throwaway b/c my GF has an account here... GF and I live together. She's a great girl - trustworthy, caring, beautiful and very intelligent.
She is a full time student (finance major) and does very well at school. She now is working for a small business as an on-call receptionist (kind of). The calls of the business get forwarded to her phone and she answers them, speaks with clients and handles their schedule, etc. It's been great for her because it allows her to work from home and she is able to focus on her school. The job pays her $700 every month for this. The workload is very small, she works maybe 10 or less hours a week, BUT she has to be on call 56 hours a week. I've told her before she's being underpaid, but the business is small and she doesn't think they could raise her salary. She really has helped this business grow a lot and I think she deserves more for it. Still she's got a great gig!
Recently, she's gotten 2 job offers. One from a small law firm as a filing clerk, walking distance from home. They expect 20-25 hrs. The other one was for a start-up company that is 20 mins away by car, but they're more flexible with the schedule, saying she could even work 10 hours.
She got these offers officially on Friday, and spent the entire weekend and Memorial day thinking this over and over. By Tuesday, the day she promised to give them a decision, she still didn't know. The law firm called and she told them she would take the offer and she is schedule to go there tomorrow for training and is STILL thinking of declining it. She hasn't even emailed the start-up firm yet with a no or yes (was suppose to do that today).
She's not doing anything during the day except thinking about this. She's very active and hasn't even run or gone outside this week. She's not getting much sleep too. She didn't shower yesterday. She looks depressed, and doesn't even look happy or react when I see her. I haven't seen her smile at all and I'm just getting concerned.
I've tried to advise her but I'm starting to wonder if I'm maybe giving her bad advice? As much as I love her this gets annoying b/c she keeps asking me if we can talk about it again.
She is worried that she won't enjoy the job at the law firm, she is worried about the effect it will have on her current on-call job as she will probably not answer calls during the afternoon and her boss will eventually find out. I told her she could try the law firm and if she doesn't like it quit! She says she doesn't want to waste time on something if she's gonna quit in a few months b/c then she will have wasted her summer. She has always been very bad with making decisions but never have I seen her like this. At this point I'd much rather she say no to both offers, continue with her on-call job so that at least she's smiling, relaxed and happy again.
I'm still concerned about her behavior, as she's pretty much a zombie this week, and the fact that she is schedule to go train at the company tomorrow and she is STILL considering declining it (she hasn't signed anything)?
Is this behavior normal? Should I try to speak with her about it again?
You are making such a big deal over her behavior last week?
Understandably she is a little stressed over the decisions she needs to make. If she spends a couples days in pajamas I wouldn't summon the guys with the straight jacket quite yet.
Ask if there is anything you can do to help, and go from there.
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You are making such a big deal over her behavior last week?
Understandably she is a little stressed over the decisions she needs to make. If she spends a couples days in pajamas I wouldn't summon the guys with the straight jacket quite yet.
Ask if there is anything you can do to help, and go from there.
No, her behavior started last Friday and has continued throughout this week...
The thing is, I've tried to help. I sat down with her for 2 full hours and we had a long discussion about so many details of this decision and it still did not help her. The past few nights we've been going to sleep very late, at around 1 am because she keeps asking me to talk about it. She has done the same with her friends and family. Her mom told me she is also very worried, because she spent a total of 4 hours speaking with her about this on the phone. I don't care if she's in pajamas, but when I see how depressed and unhappy she looks that is what concerns me.
Does she normally have trouble with decisions? What specifically is bothering her? Why the problem deciding?
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Why is she considering taking a new job AND keeping her old one? I thought the purpose of applying for a new job, or considering offers, was to get something better than what she has....?
Change can be stressful. Even good news, like a job change, getting married, a move to a nice place, anything, can be stressful, let alone bad news (job loss, breakup, etc.)
She should take whichever job pays more. Isn't that a no-brainer? I think one reason she's so stressed is that she's trying to figure out which job will fit better with her current job, but she shouldn't be considering keeping the old one, IMO. Seems the start-up offers more potential hours, and possibly growth, if it's a stable start-up.
Does she normally have trouble with decisions? What specifically is bothering her? Why the problem deciding?
Maybe I'm overreacting but I just see it getting worse day by day. Yes, she normally does have trouble with decisions but it has never gotten this bad!
Her problem deciding is that she's worried about how a new job will affect her current on-call gig, she is worried it will be too much adding 20-25 hours a week for something she says "is not worth it" and she's stressed because she's suppose to go there tomorrow for training and doesn't know if she really wants to.
She grew up poor and has worked since she was very young. She puts a lot of pressure on herself and constantly says she feels that she is an underachiever. She feels a lot of guilty over the fact that she has 2 job offers and she's not excited about it.
When does she go to school if she's full time, but it on-call for 56 hours?
She could be concerned that if she takes a job away from home, she can't do schoolwork like she has been (like I'm assuming she could with her on-call job).
If she will try to do BOTH jobs, she just might be feeling over-whelmed. If she's on-call for 56 hours, plus has a second job, AND goes to school at night (I'm guessing), that would be a lot on her plate. She might be better off taking the two other part-time jobs (as long as she can get complementary schedules) rather than this on-call thing. There is no freedom in that.
Why is she considering taking a new job AND keeping her old one? I thought the purpose of applying for a new job, or considering offers, was to get something better than what she has....?
Change can be stressful. Even good news, like a job change, getting married, a move to a nice place, anything, can be stressful, let alone bad news (job loss, breakup, etc.)
She should take whichever job pays more. Isn't that a no-brainer? I think one reason she's so stressed is that she's trying to figure out which job will fit better with her current job, but she shouldn't be considering keeping the old one, IMO. Seems the start-up offers more potential hours, and possibly growth, if it's a stable start-up.
I think she does want the start-up more but since it's not walking distance (she doesn't have a car) she wonders if it will work well for her. I told her I'd be more than happy to help her get there but she says it's still more time she wastes commuting. I also did some research on the start-up with her and found some...ummm, shady things. The founder of the company had apparently started a business before that was investigated for lying about job creation, scamming clients, etc. This company he has now is registered in the US as a foreign company (I find odd) and they have an article of dissolution on their record from two years ago. It just seemed a little shady and I warned her to be careful.
She really does not want to quit her current job because it's guaranteed income she gets every month. If she starts a new job and it doesn't work out (which can happen) she doesn't have any income to fall back on. Very recently she did an internship, they let her go early and she told me she was so happy and relieved because she didn't quit her on-call job so she didn't have to worry as much. Essentially it's very easy work for decent money! She doesn't spend much time doing heavy work for them, she just has to be with her phone at all times. She can do it from home and it's always a good backup option for her.
When does she go to school if she's full time, but it on-call for 56 hours?
She could be concerned that if she takes a job away from home, she can't do schoolwork like she has been (like I'm assuming she could with her on-call job).
Evening classes. She's on call from 8 am to 6 pm and Saturday mornings.
Yes, she is worried about the distance because even if I help her get there (which I have done before for other internships/jobs) it's still time she's losing.
Throwaway b/c my GF has an account here... GF and I live together. She's a great girl - trustworthy, caring, beautiful and very intelligent.
She is a full time student (finance major) and does very well at school. She now is working for a small business as an on-call receptionist (kind of). The calls of the business get forwarded to her phone and she answers them, speaks with clients and handles their schedule, etc. It's been great for her because it allows her to work from home and she is able to focus on her school. The job pays her $700 every month for this. The workload is very small, she works maybe 10 or less hours a week, BUT she has to be on call 56 hours a week. I've told her before she's being underpaid, but the business is small and she doesn't think they could raise her salary. She really has helped this business grow a lot and I think she deserves more for it. Still she's got a great gig!
Recently, she's gotten 2 job offers. One from a small law firm as a filing clerk, walking distance from home. They expect 20-25 hrs. The other one was for a start-up company that is 20 mins away by car, but they're more flexible with the schedule, saying she could even work 10 hours.
She got these offers officially on Friday, and spent the entire weekend and Memorial day thinking this over and over. By Tuesday, the day she promised to give them a decision, she still didn't know. The law firm called and she told them she would take the offer and she is schedule to go there tomorrow for training and is STILL thinking of declining it. She hasn't even emailed the start-up firm yet with a no or yes (was suppose to do that today).
She's not doing anything during the day except thinking about this. She's very active and hasn't even run or gone outside this week. She's not getting much sleep too. She didn't shower yesterday. She looks depressed, and doesn't even look happy or react when I see her. I haven't seen her smile at all and I'm just getting concerned.
I've tried to advise her but I'm starting to wonder if I'm maybe giving her bad advice? As much as I love her this gets annoying b/c she keeps asking me if we can talk about it again.
She is worried that she won't enjoy the job at the law firm, she is worried about the effect it will have on her current on-call job as she will probably not answer calls during the afternoon and her boss will eventually find out. I told her she could try the law firm and if she doesn't like it quit! She says she doesn't want to waste time on something if she's gonna quit in a few months b/c then she will have wasted her summer. She has always been very bad with making decisions but never have I seen her like this. At this point I'd much rather she say no to both offers, continue with her on-call job so that at least she's smiling, relaxed and happy again.
I'm still concerned about her behavior, as she's pretty much a zombie this week, and the fact that she is schedule to go train at the company tomorrow and she is STILL considering declining it (she hasn't signed anything)?
Is this behavior normal? Should I try to speak with her about it again?
One of you (you or your gf) already posted about this already.
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