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To what US city would you move to if you had the chance to begin a new life somewhere and you were very depressed, all alone and not close to your family (as in it wouldn't matter if you never saw them again)?
I wasn't sure where to put this, but since it pertains to my feeling of entrapment and being depressed in this new city that I moved to after my mom died, I thought the MH forum was appropriate.
To what US city would you move to if you had the chance to begin a new life somewhere and you were very depressed, all alone and not close to your family (as in it wouldn't matter if you never saw them again)?
I wasn't sure where to put this, but since it pertains to my feeling of entrapment and being depressed in this new city that I moved to after my mom died, I thought the MH forum was appropriate.
I'm sorry to hear about your mom. You're not only dealing with being alone but grieving too. My heart goes out to you. ((((Hug)))
I did what you did- moved to new state (TN) and was miserable. I went to study storytelling, no less, and I couldn't do bec of my depression. And I had no money to move back to WI. I was alone, friendless except for people who enjoyed me checking on them but never reciprocated.
I had no $ to go places, join any storytelling workshops or anything else that would help find friends.
This is what happened.
I finally took a call center job, saved my money, moved back to WI (though almost questioned going back to city/ state I have no family. But I had an idea, small belief that WI was home.
I had a rough transition. Very. I was homeless because I didn't have enough for an apt deposit. I found as job finally and got an apt.
Through it all, the drive (oh and my car kept stopping and restarting all the way to WI), the homelessness, job search, apt hunt, etc... I felt MUCH better than I had in that stuck place I had been.
Let me stress, I wasn't 100% sure this was going to work. But even when homeless, I knew I would rather be than to stuck again!
I learned that when I was doing something for myself, that when I made a choice to do something, anything I found connections that helped me feel less alone and a few times help from others.
Hold on. Consider places you might like. You've made one move, you can do another. It can be hard and risky. But I found the fear of trying.was worse than the problems I faced doing it.
This time last year I was making my plan. I had just decided I coudn't move- I l took a mini vacation to a hotel, so convinced I spent money. But those two days.away from my sad environment showed me I needed (!) to move. It was so wonderful waking up OUT of that darned apt!
There is hope. You can plan and figure out what to do. I have only one place to suggest- WI of course. LoL All joking aside, WI has a lot to offer. There are jobs, albeit retail, people are friendly and the state scenery is beautiful.
Think and dream. The good thing about being stuck, is getting unstuck is possible. Don't let your environment cool you! You can make changes, little and small. They all help.
Miami. I lived in miami before and would move back if I was feeling depressed and lost my wife.
That is my hometown! But I can't afford to move back there, I had looked into it. I could MAYBE find an apartment or get a condo in Homestead, but that's kind of in the boonies and not that safe.
Jobs are tough, too, since I am not bilingual. Not impossible, but really hard.
Wild Flower, thank you so much - you are one brave spirit, that is for sure! It's funny, I LOVE Wisconsin. I had a LDR with a guy who lived in Appleton and fell in love with the state when I went to visit. Ironically, I also have another ex who now lives in WI.
So you know that song "All my exes live in Texas"? All mine live in WI, lol! Yes, I would consider moving there - not sure which city.
I have been researching some places and I don't want to break my lease, so I have some time yet. Your idea of mini-trips are great - I can just getaway and check out various cities for a day or two, just to get a "feel" for the surroundings. I have a little money, but I would like to find work in my new city quickly.
Wild Flower, on another note, I totally relate about non-reciprocation among "friends". I have made an effort to reach out to people, and my so-called family. They are usually responsive and always seem glad to talk to me. But never, ever, do they initiate - not even an email.
I would NOT make any moves, work on WHY the depression and rid yourself of it best way. I lived 10 miserable years of depression and it was thyroid all along and the doctors really let me down for 10 yrs...my old time D.O. knew and called in for armour and in 4 days clinical depression lifted.
Life is full of situations and changes and losses and gains but we need to work thru them...
I have a friend who has dealt with depression a lot of her life and she needs to be alone to work out of it. She recently got herself into a panic and ended up in the ER and now on too many pharma drugs, the MIND can make us so sick and can also get us moving better.
I moved 3000 miles away from family in the 60's, and then found myself in a divorce...talk about change in life....I worked thru it all and have been here in my NEW HOME 50 yrs.
Jaminhealth, thank you - I have been prescribed meds but I hesitate to take them (Fluoxetine daytime and a benzo for sleep). I take the benzo.
My depression has peaked due to the loss of my mother and I moved to this new city and am not happy. I have a few months until my lease is up, so at least I don't need to make any hasty decisions.
I have my thyroid tested every year when I get my annual.
I am glad you found "home" for all these years. That is what I am hoping to find.
My Mom died four years ago and I moved into her place, but I am so depressed. I can't even talk about all the reasons, I just feel so hopeless. I don't feel there's a darn person I can really count on.
Moving can cause more depression...so I am not sure that is the answer. I would work to get the depression under control where you are before making any decisions to move. You can't move away from your problems.
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