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Old 10-29-2016, 06:54 PM
 
Location: Richmond VA
6,870 posts, read 7,811,823 times
Reputation: 18193

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My grandfather and mother were alcoholics. I've been in no danger of abusing substances myself, I have been really intoxicated only once in my life. I started taking anti-depressants when I knew I was in trouble and wished I'd done it sooner. During my adult life I've met many who have addictions of one kind or another. Without exception they are self medicating untreated depression or other mental health issues.

I avoid relationships with anyone in this category, at the risk of being alone for the rest of my life, since this describes a majority of the men I date. I really don't want to be with someone who puts their need for (insert addictive substance here) above the needs of our relationship.

So I've met a really nice guy, who told me last night that in the past he was addicted to pain killers due to degenerative disc disease. His pain improved drastically when he had surgery, but he is still in pain every day and takes methadone. He does his therapy and stays active.

Does that mean he's still addicted?

Are the roots of his addiction different from those who are self medicating for depression/anxiety?

Does this kind of pain mean that a person cannot be emotionally available in a relationship?

It's early days, I just met him last week, so I'm not invested in this guy. I'm just wondering what to look for as I move forward. Or even if I should consider moving forward.
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Old 10-29-2016, 07:07 PM
 
Location: interior Alaska
6,895 posts, read 5,792,091 times
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I think there's stark difference between physical dependence - which may routinely develop during a course of treatment on a prescription painkiller, and is why it's often better to taper off such meds rather than quit all at once - and full-blown addiction, which implies a compulsion and psychological dependence as well. The need for methadone maintenance here would be something of a red flag for me, honestly, depending on the circumstances...that's usually a last resort after someone's been abusing opiates pretty badly.
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Old 10-29-2016, 07:33 PM
 
Location: Richmond VA
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Oh, I forgot to say, we were at a bar for 3.5 hours, he had 5 beers while I nursed a bloody mary and one beer. I thought that seemed like a lot considering we only had some chips and guac and he got in the car and drove home. ?????
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Old 10-29-2016, 08:36 PM
 
Location: NW Nevada
18,123 posts, read 15,512,307 times
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Ummm..5 beers over chips n dip...that seems a little excessive. 5 beers would have me seeing a pretty good buzz, and I'm at the north side of 200#. On top of maintenance methodone, I would think he was felling no pain. I am on a pain management regimen, and I don't drink at all, save maybe 1 beer if my gal and I go for hot wings or something. And I usually don't even finish it. Alcohol and opiates don't go well together. Not for me anyway. Sure fire cure for insomnia, I suppose.

I'd say he'd bear watching. It is a red flag, to my mind, to be able to put alcohol down like that and be on a methadone regimine. It seems he could possibly be in the high tolerance stage that, from what limited knowledge I have on this, often precedes alcoholism/problem drinking. My best, non medical, advice is to proceed with caution, if you do proceed. I'm not trying to put forth a solid judgement, but there do seem to be some warning signs.
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Old 10-29-2016, 08:39 PM
 
Location: Southern California
29,267 posts, read 16,551,673 times
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Drinking and Driving....not good. The price is Higher today than ever.
Getting involved with a drinker can only bring problems. I lived thru that one.

The meth dependency, that would worry me to get involved with someone on methadone daily.

I deal with nasty DDD but would never do a back surgery. I've had back issues since I was 18 and I'm 78. Some pain we just have to suck up to. Often those back surgeries can help and some end up worse. Take care of yourself.

Last edited by jaminhealth; 10-29-2016 at 09:47 PM..
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Old 10-29-2016, 08:48 PM
 
Location: TOVCCA
8,452 posts, read 14,946,733 times
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You are right to be wary. Giving him some slack, the methadone may have some justification, although I would want to see the x-rays of his back, because he could be covering up an old opiate addiction like heroin. But the excessive drinking has no excuse.
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Old 10-29-2016, 09:34 PM
 
Location: Leaving fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada
4,053 posts, read 8,213,920 times
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Dreamland by Sam Quinones is a good book to read if you want to know more about addiction to opiates.

Five beers? That's a problem.
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Old 10-30-2016, 07:06 PM
 
Location: Richmond VA
6,870 posts, read 7,811,823 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NVplumber View Post
Ummm..5 beers over chips n dip...that seems a little excessive. 5 beers would have me seeing a pretty good buzz, and I'm at the north side of 200#. On top of maintenance methodone, I would think he was felling no pain. I am on a pain management regimen, and I don't drink at all, save maybe 1 beer if my gal and I go for hot wings or something. And I usually don't even finish it. Alcohol and opiates don't go well together. Not for me anyway. Sure fire cure for insomnia, I suppose.

I'd say he'd bear watching. It is a red flag, to my mind, to be able to put alcohol down like that and be on a methadone regimine. It seems he could possibly be in the high tolerance stage that, from what limited knowledge I have on this, often precedes alcoholism/problem drinking. My best, non medical, advice is to proceed with caution, if you do proceed. I'm not trying to put forth a solid judgement, but there do seem to be some warning signs.
Thank you! All good info!
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Old 10-30-2016, 08:01 PM
 
Location: Central TX
2,335 posts, read 4,122,225 times
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I was on pain management for 8 years for a nerve problem. I quit earlier this year, I was tired of taking pills all the time and they weren't as effective anymore even though I was on some powerful meds. I never drank while taking them, I like to keep breathing.

I feel much better mentally, I just deal with the physical pain.
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Old 10-31-2016, 06:08 PM
 
6,806 posts, read 4,875,152 times
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Methadone is simply a synthetic opioid. It is addictive, which means he is still an addict. The fact that you are not supposed to drink while on methadone is even more problematic and more flags or addiction.

I would say your best bet is to get some counseling to fix whatever it is that draws you to date addicts.

BTW, pain doesn't go away until opiates are stopped. There is strong feedback loop that causes the pain to reinforce the opiate addiction.
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