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[B]One of the worst things that could ever happen a young adult is being apart of the "boomerang" generation where some of us have to live with parents because of financial situations. And I happen to be one of those young adults 24 to be exact where my mother is having me pay rent along with the water and light bill. She lives in two places, one that was supposed to be a place where me and my sibling could stay for after we graduated college but unfortunately I need to save up money to complete a final semester while my sibling who is already younger already finished.
Anyway, I'm only working a part time job now (looking for full time) but want to build an art portfolio where I can be an entrepreneur but my stupid mother is coming down every other week or so to collect money and not showing much warmth the way she does towards my sister. I mean, I know I was always the scapegoat of the f*cking family but this b*tch really does not seem to care about me. And I'm a little bit on the intuitive side so have picked up on people's intentions and have been having dreams where my mother was gossiping about me to other relatives, trying to ruin my reputation. It has affected me negatively even though I am trying not let it get to me and decided that elsewhere rent would be far more expensive so to save up money and ride it out.
But everyday I think about my problems, I end up wondering why I'm even here. I feel like no one cares about me, like to the point where I'll be on a bus or train and think "No one on this bus gives af about me and they probably would think I was weird if they knew me". And sometimes I'll get laughed at or mocked by random strangers, even by co-workers which is the reason I can't even make friends to escape family and it'll play like a record in my head like "All of my life I've been that unpopular weird, outcast girl. And my evil mother helped foster that". Life seems really pointless unless I can be by myself, meditate and enjoy my own company. But when I'm work or around family, I feel like crying but I don't. I want to escape society and take some long ass vacation for an entire year and not have to see another human face again. That's the way I feel most of the time even though I don't have enough money to even take off for a month. [/b]
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