Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My mother doesn't have a dime to her name, she hasn't worked since we were kids.
My sister just has major issues. I've had over a decade of professional help and my sister never has, she refuses to go see anyone outside of church counseling.
We got in a fight and she turned it into personal attacks on me in front of an audience. Since that fight two weeks ago, she's set out to destroy the relationships that I have with people in both of our lives. We have three half siblings, she told our 16 year old half sibling about it, she dragged my older sister into it, and now she dragged my mom into it.
She succeeded, no one is talking to me. She got what she wanted, an anti sansa bandwagon.
The 16 year old dug me for information about the fight and i told her that I wouldn't talk behind my sisters back. I didn't tell her anything. In comparison, my sister used the fight to blow up my already fragile relationships.
I'm actually feeling better. I just feel like I lost my family, my birthday is on Friday, and I'm planning a wedding to boot.
It makes them not talking to me more painful but I want nothing to do with any of it. I learned the hard way that I can't trust my sisters, lesson learned.
I'm actually feeling better. I just feel like I lost my family, my birthday is on Friday, and I'm planning a wedding to boot.
It makes them not talking to me more painful but I want nothing to do with any of it. I learned the hard way that I can't trust my sisters, lesson learned.
It sounds like you have set yourself free. Through pain comes growth.
I'm actually feeling better. I just feel like I lost my family, my birthday is on Friday, and I'm planning a wedding to boot.
It makes them not talking to me more painful but I want nothing to do with any of it. I learned the hard way that I can't trust my sisters, lesson learned.
It does sound like you can't trust your sisters - even the other ones. They apparently are very easily manipulated by the dysfunction of the family dynamics.
You're not. I commend you.
Is your family supposedly going to be involved in your wedding? I hope not.
As for your birthday, that's what friends are for! Go have a blast!
I wish that I had some dysfunctional family members who would take care of my mom, but unfortunately that's not the case. So I'm the one with the responsibility. Believe me, I've had to really lay down the law with her, which as you can imagine is NO FUN. When my dad died in October, she lost her Enabler, and she's always had a very contentious relationship with me because I've had her ticket since before I knew there was a name for her mental health issues - I just knew something was wrong with her that was not wrong with me by the time I was seven years old, and I began figuring out how to survive living in the same house with a mentally ill mother and still keep my own sanity.
I figured that out but it really ticked my mom off at me and she's been jealous of me, intimidated by me, frustrated with me, and vindictive toward me ever since. That being said, she knows that I "hold her future in my hands" at this point (aka "I'm responsible for her health and wellbeing now" - LUCKY ME!) so she's been forced to be polite and cooperative in these new roles. She's not an idiot - she knows that as long as she's minimally well behaved, I will be involved with her.
But I refuse to take on her entertainment in life as my responsibility. Prior to my dad dying, he allowed her to come up with all sorts of elaborate illnesses as her main form of entertainment - and he would take her to the doctor, over and over and over again. He would allow her to get online and order medical supplies and that sort of thing (she even had a wheelchair delivered to the house one time but he did put his foot down on that one - mainly because they didn't have a wheelchair accessible house and he simply didn't want to be forced into the role of pushing her around in that chair in public and hauling it in and out of the car - boy was my mom mad when he refused to do all that and refuse to make the house wheelchair accessible!).
She has known for decades that I don't fall for all those shenanigans and that I have no patience with her made up illnesses. This has been a source of great frustration with her for a long time, especially when she knew that my dad and I were talking and that I was discouraging him from going along with all this. Boy, she was furious about that!
But anyway, now he's gone and no one else is stepping up to the plate to take her care on (she can't care for herself when it comes to managing her finances, driving, etc so she's moved to a senior apartment community). Since she can't drive, and she's about half mad, I manage her finances and details and she floats around dressed oddly and smelling even more oddly, with a mop of wild, white hair and a sense of frustration because she knows I will not play "Let's Go the the Doctor" with her.
It really speaks to your strength that you take care of your mother given everything she's put you through and that you know she's pulling your chain.
I admire that, and I really wanted to be that way, I worked through all of my hurt and anger towards her and accepted that she was just sick. So we actually had a good "relationship" for the few years that she was with her husband.
Now that my sisters are eating everything up, it turns me into the bad guy.
I didn't realize how off my mother was until I started college. I would always chalk up her lies to a misunderstanding on my part. But each and every break from college when my mother had a full house, she would be laid up on the couch with some medical crisis and my sisters would be by her side. I didn't know what her illness was, but that's when I started rolling my eyes at the drama of it all.
The wedding is in October, aside from some get togethers for planning, they haven't been involved. Thankfully I never thought to have them as a bridal party, I'm not having one. It's just my fiance and our two daughters.
I also have awhile to work through this before the invites go out. I want zero drama on that day so if this continues for months and months as I assume it will, I will have a tough decision to make.
I refuse to have my sister forming and anti sansa alliance on the day of my wedding, and my mother will make it all about her.
A few weeks ago, everyone was invited. Now, I don't know if I can be the bigger person and stomach it, but thankfully I have a bit of time to decide.
A few weeks ago, everyone was invited. Now, I don't know if I can be the bigger person and stomach it, but thankfully I have a bit of time to decide.
I think you are the bigger person if you exclude them and are above it all.
Be strong and cut them out of your life. You are free now. So, fly.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
