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Old 02-23-2019, 06:25 AM
 
Location: SW Florida
15,209 posts, read 10,238,419 times
Reputation: 32171

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Just checking in here. Doing well with the Lexapro. Since I was still having anxiety when I woke up at 5 a.m. the psych doc upped my dose to 10 mg. which is still pretty low. I'm in the process of tapering off the lorazepam. So far so good. I was feeling like I had no energy for a few weeks but yesterday started feeling a little more motivated. Compared to where I was the beginning of December I feel like a whole different person.

For those who take Ambien and have a tendency toward depression be very mindful of whether it makes you more depressed. It sent me spiraling into a serious depressive episode.
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Old 02-23-2019, 07:08 AM
 
Location: Nantahala National Forest, NC
27,074 posts, read 11,775,613 times
Reputation: 30347
[quote=chiluvr1228;54512480]Just checking in here. Doing well with the Lexapro. Since I was still having anxiety when I woke up at 5 a.m. the psych doc upped my dose to 10 mg. which is still pretty low. I'm in the process of tapering off the lorazepam. So far so good. I was feeling like I had no energy for a few weeks but yesterday started feeling a little more motivated. Compared to where I was the beginning of December




I feel like a whole different person.

---------------

Whoo hoo!!!! Let's celebrate

Thanks to the makers of Lexapro
and
that we live in a time when these meds are available to us...
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Old 02-24-2019, 06:01 AM
 
Location: SW Florida
15,209 posts, read 10,238,419 times
Reputation: 32171
Amen!
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Old 03-02-2019, 08:11 AM
 
Location: SW Florida
15,209 posts, read 10,238,419 times
Reputation: 32171
At last I found a new psychiatrist who WILL prescribe lorazepam to help me taper off. My PCP gave me a 30 day supply but told me I need to find a doc who will prescribe lorazepam as he is really not supposed to. Pretty annoying considering he is the one who started me on them almost 17 years ago.

I hated the people that I was seeing at this mental health office near me. They wouldn't give me the lorazepam and only gave me valium which wasn't doing a thing. When I told the psychiatrist there that I have been on the lorazepam for 17 years and felt like they were trying to wean me off too quickly he stated "that is 16 1/2 years too long" and my response was that is neither here nor there, it is what it is. Ha, they didn't know I still had some lorazepam from when I was in the hospital for two weeks and mine were at home. I will be thrilled to be able to call and cancel my appointment with them.

I am down to 1.5 mg. of lorazepam but when I try to go lower to 1.25 I can't sleep and feel anxious the next day. It didn't help that I forgot to take my Lexapro two nights in a row. I take it with dinner and I wasn't home for dinner those two days so I forgot to take them. I've now set a reminder on my phone. The things we have to do to remind ourselves of things when we get older. When I was young I never, ever forgot to take my birth control pills! :-)

Hope everyone is feeling a little better; spring is right around the corner.
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Old 03-02-2019, 09:29 AM
 
Location: Nantahala National Forest, NC
27,074 posts, read 11,775,613 times
Reputation: 30347
Take that Lexapro

You don't want to go backwards. Good news about lorazepam. If you manage to get through a few sleep deprived nights it might be easier to get off them. I'm going to take myself off opioids if possible....so far done with one dose of several per day. Ringing in ears, saying things I'd normally not say, etc. Will have to see how I do with back pain...
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Old 03-03-2019, 06:42 AM
 
Location: SW Florida
15,209 posts, read 10,238,419 times
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Is there anything else that can be done for your back pain? Chiropractor, TENS unit, etc.? I remember you saying you were in the medical profession so I'm sure you've probably tried everything. Back pain can really curtail your life. I had a couple of issues and twice I've had back spasms so bad I couldn't even move; just stayed in bed for two days. When you're in constant pain it is easy to get depressed.
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Old 03-03-2019, 08:23 AM
 
Location: Nantahala National Forest, NC
27,074 posts, read 11,775,613 times
Reputation: 30347
Quote:
Originally Posted by chiluvr1228 View Post
Is there anything else that can be done for your back pain? Chiropractor, TENS unit, etc.? I remember you saying you were in the medical profession so I'm sure you've probably tried everything. Back pain can really curtail your life. I had a couple of issues and twice I've had back spasms so bad I couldn't even move; just stayed in bed for two days. When you're in constant pain it is easy to get depressed.
I'm just going to go off and see where I stand....I've been on it years so I need to re-evaluate. It helped immensely but now providers are starting to balk....my provider has not said anything yet.
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Old 03-04-2019, 05:06 AM
 
Location: SW Florida
15,209 posts, read 10,238,419 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by greatblueheron View Post
I'm just going to go off and see where I stand....I've been on it years so I need to re-evaluate. It helped immensely but now providers are starting to balk....my provider has not said anything yet.
The addicts are making it difficult for those who have a legitimate need for opiates. When my husband was dying of cancer the staff from Hope Hospice made me keep his pain meds in a locked safe that they provided.
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Old 03-04-2019, 07:50 AM
 
Location: Nantahala National Forest, NC
27,074 posts, read 11,775,613 times
Reputation: 30347
Quote:
Originally Posted by chiluvr1228 View Post
The addicts are making it difficult for those who have a legitimate need for opiates. When my husband was dying of cancer the staff from Hope Hospice made me keep his pain meds in a locked safe that they provided.
Exactly. Providers mostly will not take new patients if they are on opiates, no special circumstances
considered...
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Old 03-08-2019, 01:46 PM
 
Location: Gaston, South Carolina
15,705 posts, read 9,468,587 times
Reputation: 17599
The inner voices that talk to me are being especially negative these last few days. No one could love me, they tell me. If they had loved you, you wouldn't be alone now. I try to be careful mentioning these feelings. I want to make sure folks know I understand they say more about me than they do them. I try to silence the voices and doubts that I have, but it never works long term. Sometimes it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you tell yourself that no one loves you enough, you start acting in unlovable ways and the people who do or did love you leave you. Everyone eventually leaves.

The voices are always with me and they get louder when I turn out the lights and go to bed. I always have a nagging feeling that disaster is right around the corner. Sometimes I imagine a plane crashing into my house. The jets I sometimes hear flying from Shaw Air Force Base in Sumter don't help allay these fears. Sometimes it's the feeling that someone is in my house about to do harm to me. At different times I have thought there might be ghosts in the house. There have been a lot of people that lived here who died here. And there are supposed to be Indian burial grounds near where I live. These are things I have pondered on when I am in bed trying to go to sleep, all a part of the Rolodex I have mentioned before spitting things out for my mind to dwell on in my darkest moments.

It does not help that every day is the same. Every hour of every day, too. For every day that I get out of the house for a few hours, there are nine days if not more where I am always right here. All of the time. Nothing really changes. Some days my depression takes a back seat. Other days it is front and center. But no matter how I feel from one day to the next, I know my depression is never fully gone. It always comes back. But the truth is I think I could almost survive the depression, but the loneliness and isolation will kill me eventually

It's like being lost at sea and trying to tread water. You fight to stay afloat because fighting is what you do. You don't think about it. You just do it. But it's exhausting. And it's a constant battle. You never get to not fight because when you stop fighting, the depression takes over and it takes twice as much strength to get back to the point you were just at when you gave up the fight.

Someone on The Mighty asked which came first, the depression or the loneliness. It is different for everyone. With me, the depression was first although I didn't realize that the depression was creeping back in until it was too late. Now that so many people in my life have left and my truck has died, the loneliness is my next great fight. Loneliness and isolation are often the same thing for me.

Today is a dark day for me. Tomorrow could be worse.
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