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This can be a potentially dangerous situation for you and your husband. Tell your Grandson you would love visiting with him, but since he is an adult, he should be living on his own. Sounds like Grandson needs a new therapist. Have his Dad pay for an apartment for him too. Stay a grandparent and not a caregiver.
I am not a caregiver; he lives in the dorm. His father is a waiter , gambles and has seen him on three occasions his entire life.
My first question or observation is: if you know he is prone to lie, why keep asking hims questions you know he'll lie about? What's in it for you? Also, if you know he has issues, why invite him to stay with you?
The opening and closing of drawers is not normal.
I had not seen him in five or so years. I did not know he would continue, at almost twenty, to ransack drawers and take over our house. I wanted to see him badly, missed him then found out he hasn't changed and is now telling family members lies about me. I just paid over four thousand dollars on his first dental bill this morning. It will be well over double that amount. Haven't you ever heard of a relative changing? Some people get worse as they age; others become nicer and more humble. He isn't humble. I had no idea.
He needs professional help even more than dental care. The opening of drawers, etc. is not normal. I feel for you and wish you luck. He's at the age now for the onset of schizophrenia, too
He needs professional help even more than dental care. The opening of drawers, etc. is not normal. I feel for you and wish you luck. He's at the age now for the onset of schizophrenia, too
He does not just open" drawers or closets. He removes things and puts them in other places, steals very few of the items, puts some under the guest room bed where he slept. He finds things deep within closets and takes them out; I find them on my desk. He took all my papers from my file folders and moved them to two different places in two days.
I have to read about schizophrenia having an average age of onset; never heard of that one. I think the major sign of that disease is hearing voices. If he did hear voices he would have told me.
His mother is on the National Child Maltreatment Registry and he has a history of methamphetamine use. We are all stunned he is making all "A's in junior college after two weeks. But, then, he was always on those national tests as being in the 97 percentile. He was kicked out of school , spent two months in Juvenile Detention then taught himself algebra so he could get his GED.
The doctor seeing him dismissed him today. He was rude and very uncooperative. He pits family members against each other by lying (when my daughter picked him up and was dropping him off at his dorm he said "doctor was mean to me ; doctor hurt my feelings, etc) and all the crap he would say when he stayed with us for one harrowing, horrible week for spring break. He denied everything I told my daughter he did here like going through our drawers and closets every night. In a word he's scary. Now he's banned from my daughter's home in which lives my other two grandchildren .
My daughter hugged the doctor, who is her friend and my grandson said, "where's MY hug?" That is so typical of him. He has turned out to be what all his friends are: a user. Two faced. Now we all think he won't make friends here and will be fired from all jobs he gets.
To Celebrate (Or Not)My GS's Birthday When He Steals?
My grandson turns twenty on April 2nd. He was raised with a neglectful, drug addicted mother and no father, mostly. He began smoking weed and taking Benzos early in life after telling me, " I wouldn't do drugs because I've seen what they can do to a person. " Even back then I think he was taking Xanax.
Ten years ago we left the state and he struggled finding food throughout his late teens and a warm place to sleep (although my ex did buy he. and his mother, my older daughter a house which is uncooled and unheated ; they dont even have hot water) . So his staying in that place was spotty .
Three weeks ago he arrived here , at our home, saying he wanted to just "see me. " I was thrilled to see him again, my younger daughter came right over and we all began talking about getting him into our local junior college. He was skinny with his hair dyed black and his teeth looked dreadful. He had actually obtained his GED on his own. He was expelled in 10th grade.
I am shocked but glad to say he did enroll in college, is making A's and has a job. I am paying for all his dental work to the tune of five figures and most of his out of state tuition, room and board. My daughter buys his books and some clothes. Now I won't be saving money anymore.
My problem is this kid is, in my opinion, drug addicted . He stayed with us for a week over spring break before school started and I am very anxious, upset, shocked and saddened by his horrific behavior while here. He had done the following six years ago when he stayed with us for a month: each night, when my husband and I went to bed, he would be up half the night ransacking our closets, drawers and cabinets ! Even our large garage storage unit was upended . He lied continually, told me to shut up twice, called me " an idiot " twice the morning he left for the dorm , found and made off with expensive. keyboards I didn't know we had , was huffing but nobody believes it, put weird things of ours under his bed , talked too much and was loud , and my husband quietly gave him a mint condition 42" tv for his dorm , his grandfather, my ex , takes him out to eat as does my daughter. But he is not allowed in their homes. Yes; I feel very sorry for him after years of neglect and no medical or dental services (I did pay thousands on him for baby root canals when we lived close to each other) . We were real close when he was little, laughing and going places and I got temporary legal custody of him in elementary school . It was work but I adored him and enjoyed him. But now he looks and acts like a criminal . He had weird straws in his things, he had 3 bottles of my nose spray on his nightstand, and two bottles of eyedrops. He uses one of those electric cigs and wonders why he has mouth sores. Therefore, I do not want to see him on Easter or on his twentieth birthday so my daughter is mad at me. He scares me. And my daughter had gotten him a Ph.d drug abuse counselor but by the second session she dismissed him as being threatening or scary. And being uncooperative! He was just plain rude to her. Would you forgive and forget and celebrate special occasions with your grandson if he were like mine?
Last edited by SusanG_O; 03-31-2018 at 01:32 PM..
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To Celebrate (Or Not)My GS's Birthday When He Steals?
