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Never really got hung up on a specific numerical age. I didn't have some internal plan that dictated I should have done such and such by this age or that. Probably the first time it dawned on me that age matters was when I applied for a couple of jobs that younger applicants (with fairly comparable qualifications other than sheer time getting them) ended up getting. Of course applicant age could/would never be proven as the reason, but it did play into their decision. Which applicant did they feel would stay in the position longest. Having to refill positions after people retire gets expensive.
Reality hits when you really face your own mortality. It does kinda suck, but not something to get too worked-up over. Once you get to 40 or so, your time on earth is more likely to end, sooner rather than later........it is what it is, reality.
40 was the worst for me, but that had more to do with divorce, recession, and my career falling apart. Yep, all at 40. The next 3 years sucked as well, with me becoming suicidal. I finally broke out of the career mess at 44, but was completely lost, and personal life in complete disarray. Now 5 years later, I never had kids, never got remarried and am just existing. Career is ok, but I hate where I live. 50 is around the corner, and I feel like life is coming to an end because I'm not passionate about anything or anyone. I missed out on the family thing and have almost nobody. I mean, what's the point?
40 was the worst for me, but that had more to do with divorce, recession, and my career falling apart. Yep, all at 40. The next 3 years sucked as well, with me becoming suicidal. I finally broke out of the career mess at 44, but was completely lost, and personal life in complete disarray. Now 5 years later, I never had kids, never got remarried and am just existing. Career is ok, but I hate where I live. 50 is around the corner, and I feel like life is coming to an end because I'm not passionate about anything or anyone. I missed out on the family thing and have almost nobody. I mean, what's the point?
Have you planned anything to look forward to? Have you taken any steps, despite your lethargy / ennui / low mental state, to have things, events, in your future? Is there nowhere in the world you want to travel? Do you remember getting any pleasure from helping - animals, old people, children?
You do not have to be a prisoner of past events, its up to you how much that is part of you going forward. Do you want friends? How does the idea of having 2 or 3 good friends in one-year's time sound to you? If it sounds good even through that veil that is upon you right now, then push yourself to make friends. It may seem contrived, there is a failure rate of course, but you only need 2 or 3 successes.
Pull your socks up, get your skates on, and give yourself a shake. (I'm assuming you are already getting either therapy and/or psychiatrist help for depression - if not you should consider).
And what does being 50 mean? Do you walk out of a movie just after the half way point because "it will come to an end?" No! - you stay and experience the story until it finishes. Its not finished yet dude.
I had no idea what a major milestone turning 40 was going to be. Before my bday, I never thought about my age and mentally assumed I was a 20-30 something. On my 40th Bday, i totally freaked out. It finally hit me that my life was half way over and that I am over the hill. I have a lot less patience for bs. Has anyone else had a sudden midlife freak out. How did you deal with it?
Not a freakout just an in depth re-evaluation of my life at 40.
Have you heard the adage "Life begins at 40" ? You're no longer young and have life experience that can help you find your way through the next 40...your priorities can change too.
40 was the worst for me, but that had more to do with divorce, recession, and my career falling apart. Yep, all at 40. The next 3 years sucked as well, with me becoming suicidal. I finally broke out of the career mess at 44, but was completely lost, and personal life in complete disarray. Now 5 years later, I never had kids, never got remarried and am just existing. Career is ok, but I hate where I live. 50 is around the corner, and I feel like life is coming to an end because I'm not passionate about anything or anyone. I missed out on the family thing and have almost nobody. I mean, what's the point?
A lot of people don't have families and are much older than you. There is still a lot of time for you...and so much can happen. Why not give some others some of your time, it's called Service. Take the focus off yourself now and then. My marriage didn't work out, but I picked up the pieces and went on and approaching 80 have had a nice life, and my 40's were great. More wisdom and still young enough for........
Have you planned anything to look forward to? Have you taken any steps, despite your lethargy / ennui / low mental state, to have things, events, in your future? Is there nowhere in the world you want to travel? Do you remember getting any pleasure from helping - animals, old people, children?
You do not have to be a prisoner of past events, its up to you how much that is part of you going forward. Do you want friends? How does the idea of having 2 or 3 good friends in one-year's time sound to you? If it sounds good even through that veil that is upon you right now, then push yourself to make friends. It may seem contrived, there is a failure rate of course, but you only need 2 or 3 successes.
Pull your socks up, get your skates on, and give yourself a shake. (I'm assuming you are already getting either therapy and/or psychiatrist help for depression - if not you should consider).
And what does being 50 mean? Do you walk out of a movie just after the half way point because "it will come to an end?" No! - you stay and experience the story until it finishes. Its not finished yet dude.
Yeah, I plan trips every year. I just get tired of going alone. I've done all sorts of things to make friends, such as meetup groups, workshops, salsa classes, and on and on and on. I have done volunteer work with animals and was also a big brother. Anyway, I'm tired of being the one to make all the effort. Its like people don't care about making friends anymore, particularly in this part of the country.
50 means I'm no longer young and I didn't take advantage of my youth. I didn't have kids when I was young, didn't take risks, etc. Now I'm just bored and existing. So unfulfilled and like I said, tired.
Yes! 40 didn't phase me a bit, 50 hit me like a rock. I went through a period of mourning for my youth. Then I figured out I had to find a way to be able to look forward to the other side of 50.
Keep challenging yourself. Keep making lists of things you want to accomplish. It's not time to sit on the couch with a bag of chips and say--guess it's all over then!
I'm 39 and freaked out at around 35 because that's when I LOOKED old (my face) and realized my youth was gone. And I had minor aches and pains that I never had before. Now at 39, my muscles are stiffer and I've gained about 1" of belly fat every year starting at around 35. Needing to buy new pants sucks.
Funny, but I am still the same person on the inside. I don't get angry at small things like spilling a drink anymore, but aside from that, my inherent personality is generally the same.
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