what's going on in my mind (thyroid, menopause, effect, juice)

[homestead123]

I reposted this here as I didn't get many replies elsewhere.

Like I am sputtering out...at age 48 going through the motions 24/7
I used to enjoy fishing (a lot). I was a weekend musician , gardener, as well as many other interests.
my kids are grade school to HS.
No hobbies that I have time for, I love my children and my wife. I have a very good paying job with a pension on the horizon. (starts whenever I say I want out, I've got my time in)
I feel like more and more that I am getting near the end of the rope.
I am NOT suicidal and would never do that to my kids, more like mentally at the end of the rope. I feel burnt out, not much happiness? when doing family things together it feels like so much work and energy to do, that I would rather not. To the point I'm just sort of "coasting" through this time of life. Almost yearning(forgive me) for the time in which they will be out and in college.
is this mid life crisis??
am I discovering that my youth truly is gone...all the good carefree times have been over for a while, but I think I'm finally coming to that realization

what do I look forward to that is mine and only mine...nothing??

The other part of this is my job. It's always been just a job to me albeit a well paying one. I always said 20 and out. Now hear I am at 20, and afraid to pull the plug. If I stay my pension continues to grow, if I leave my pension kicks in right away. The freedom to move anywhere, do anything. And yet... I have this fear of making the wrong choice.
Thanks

[bobspez]

Sounds like spring fever. If you really want out of your job retire and take some time off and then get another job. You can't do anything go nywhere now. Your kids are still at home and in school. I think your responsibility to raise them trumps your feelings of boredom or whatever mid life crisis you are experiencing.

[mainebrokerman]

I think ...many of us...remind ourselves everyday how "old" we should be...not only that we aren't 25/35 anymore but 48....use to be "old"

im 54 still feel like im 35 … and physically still in good shape..

attitude is everything always gotta believe the best days are ahead of you..

here's my 2 cents of recommendations...
be grateful..... every morning say out loud....5 things you are grateful of/for... and mean it..
stop being predictable.....as humans when we get predictable we get routine and boring...

start being curious again....filter out the negative stop watching the news and don't talk politics.... politics is the sewage of communications..


do some random acts of kindness.....take your kid out give them a 100 bill and say where do you want to spend it?? they will never forget it...

or help someone at work going thru a tough time ..


you have much to be thankful for we all do..... think of all the generations before us that have sacrificed and worked 15 hours per day so we can be "bored"
when you pass a cemetery and see the flags...of americans that fought for your freedoms....say a quiet thank you.... they are dead...you still have 30-40- yrs …

find a hobby you enjoy from fishing to golf.... or even if its treasure hunting with a metal detector..
get your curiosity juices flowing again...

[homestead123]

thank you guys, I agree with both of you. I've been trying to concentrate one "one thing" positive to do everyday, whether for myself or a complete stranger.
Yes I agree raising / providing for the children trumps all my nonsense. I just wish I could turn the "nonsense" off in my head.
Interestingly Mainebrokerman, we almost moved to Maine back in the late 90's when first married. I took police tests and fire dept. tests in various areas. Waterville, Saco, Portland, Lewiston/Auburn. lol, was fun making those trips, some in the dead of winter. I passed all the tests but at that time was told Maine residents get hired first. I did turn down a Fed Ex position that was offered to me, but at that time I was already employed by the city where we currently reside. We always said Maine wasn't going anywhere, do the 20 year gig here, then head up to Maine. 20 has come and gone, and weighs heavy on the heart.

[WorldKlas]

You need a vacation. Find an adventure vacation like a hiking or kayaking thing. Makes a huge difference in one’s perspective. Don’t bring the kids. Hopefully the wife will want to come along.

[animalcrazy]

Have you had any lab work done homestead? You could be feeling the effects of "male menopause." Your testosterone level could be dropping. My husband went through something similar when he was around your age. Nothing made him happy, including me. We separated for awhile, because that's how bad it was. He needed to change his focus from I want, I don't have, I'm unhappy to wow look what I'm giving up. It worked.

Go have a physical and make sure your pituitary gland is functioning properly. Hormonal changes have an effect on mood. If everything is okay then you may just be burned out. You're still pretty young to retire. Would you be interested in changing jobs or careers? Ruts can be soul crushing.

[jaminhealth]

OP: Thyroid could be out of whack, sluggish.

[turkeydance]

agree with bobspez:
"stop being predictable.....as humans when we get predictable we get routine and boring..."

essentially, every day i attempt something i did not do yesterday.
every week, something i did not do last week.
every month, and so on.

for example:
1. today, i donated blood.
2. this week, washed the cars.
3. this month, had a birthday party.
4. this year, started an exercise program.