What were the best age range in years of your life (pain, alcoholic)
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Damn, man. I really hope some way, some how, things will get better. I've seen many of your posts and you're a good dude.
Thank you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kell490
Have you looked into seeing other doctors
My grandfather was in his 80's good health when they put a pace maker after he had a sudden cardiac arrest the doctor programmed it incorrectly.
I am sorry to hear about your grandfather's health problems.
We have gone through multiple doctors, my Dw likes to research each doctor online to see their reviews.
To get back on-topic, my 20s and 30s were mostly spent on subs. That is a high-stress career field, thankfully it offers a 20-year pension. Along with our personal investing, I was able to retire at 42. It was our dream to settle on a small farm surrounded by dense forest. Getting a pension so young, I was able to clear some land, build a farmhouse and get it mostly all setup, before my health took a turn. So today we are able to enjoy this lifestyle.
I guess because I had four years of college where I was a free agent (wasn't under parent financing, moved away to a school 500 miles and two states away where I knew nobody), by the time I graduated and started young adult life post-college, that was all kind of old hat by that point.
My twenties were kind of a grind of establishing myself professionally, putting that degree to use, moving around a lot, and working a grotesque number of hours breaking into my then-field. I was probably more free as a teenager living at home, TBH, than I was from 22-30. I had no house rules, true...but I also had zero time. And then there was all the uncertainty...am I on the right track? Where should I live? What are the tradeoffs? Every decision felt really high stakes at the time, because I was years from realizing that you actually can just walk away from stuff dropping the proverbial lit match behind you, and it's not really always as high stakes as you think. You can always start over on a new path. But, then, it felt like I was supposed to be mapping this solid course. I was supposed to be dating all the time, because that's what twentysomethings do, right, date all the time? And if I wasn't, gee, I'd get left behind, and nobody would want to date any woman in her (gasp) 30s, but at the same time, that wasn't a big pull in my life at the time, etc.
Twenties were a lot of uncertainty and pressure, for me, both self-imposed and otherwise. It took me a long time to figure out how to hit the brakes on all that. My thirties were really good, and I got better at the big picture, and balance. And so far, my 40s have been great. I became a parent at 38 and we had our second when I was 40, and that's been awesome.
My 20's were very similar. Worked my a*s off to be taken seriously in my career and move up. I didn't really "move up" significantly until I was in my early 40's. By then I was broken from a divorce and lack of self confidence. My 40's could have been great with a career opportunity, but I no longer had a wife/chance at a family. So I finally got the career and lost the personal life. Personal life is now more important, as it always should have been. I learn everything the hard way.
Sweet spot for me was 29-34... As close to a perfect life as I think one can get.
Close proximity to family; husband was in a career we thought he would retire from; perfect neighborhood and surrounding community with amazing schools and extracurriculars for kids; best health of my life. What made everything that much better when it all began to fall into place was that my husband felt this at the same exact time about our surroundings and opportunities.
We were uprooted and moved in 2015 on short notice and I lost all of that, in what felt like overnight. I miss out on everything with family that's 1200 miles away, I never found a gym that can compete with the old one & doctors near me now are "meh" (both are important parts of my self care), and it's been hard to make good friends-- we moved when our kids didn't need socializing via Mom groups/playdates and when you are a SAHM a lot of friendships pretty much start out that way... I have still reached out and tried to make connections but when you're grown there's a line between trying to make a friendship deeper than it naturally is and there being no sense spending time when you don't relate/mesh (in other words, you can't force chemistry), so it's been lonely not having a very close friend nearby.
I've been chasing that "sweet spot" for four years and I'm worried I won't get it back, no matter how much I try to reproduce the aspects of those great years that are possible to mimic, and that's frightening to think of... That I'm just shy of forty, and my happiest period might already be behind me.
Sweet spot for me was 29-34... As close to a perfect life as I think one can get.
Close proximity to family; husband was in a career we thought he would retire from; perfect neighborhood and surrounding community with amazing schools and extracurriculars for kids; best health of my life. What made everything that much better when it all began to fall into place was that my husband felt this at the same exact time about our surroundings and opportunities.
We were uprooted and moved in 2015 on short notice and I lost all of that, in what felt like overnight. I miss out on everything with family that's 1200 miles away, I never found a gym that can compete with the old one & doctors near me now are "meh" (both are important parts of my self care), and it's been hard to make good friends-- we moved when our kids didn't need socializing via Mom groups/playdates and when you are a SAHM a lot of friendships pretty much start out that way... I have still reached out and tried to make connections but when you're grown there's a line between trying to make a friendship deeper than it naturally is and there being no sense spending time when you don't relate/mesh (in other words, you can't force chemistry), so it's been lonely not having a very close friend nearby.
I've been chasing that "sweet spot" for four years and I'm worried I won't get it back, no matter how much I try to reproduce the aspects of those great years that are possible to mimic, and that's frightening to think of... That I'm just shy of forty, and my happiest period might already be behind me.
I agree as we age finding new friends is difficult my mother split with her long term boy friend he took all their friends when him. I was shocked how they treated her later I found they were talking lot behind her back. She will talk about things she used to do with them trips here and there like it was yesterday, but it was about 14 years ago last time she saw them she still mentions her girl friends name. She will say remember when so and so and I took that trip it was lot of fun go into detail. I will say Mom that was 14 years ago she will say oh didn't realize was so long ago.
She was about 69 when that happend she also lost all her life savings and retirement in a fraudulent investment almost a million dollars. She has been by herself with no friends for the last 11 years she is now in her 80's. She comes over stays with us every weekend that has put strain on my wife and I's relationship weekends are only time to ourselves I don't want to see her alone all the time. We live in a small house not much privacy I feel bad for my wife she does her best. I would say back in my 30's before all this happened to her my life was better and I didn't have to worry about her.
Making friends usually can be done if you find something you like to do and have in common with someone else. I have a difficult time with that because my wife wants attention from me.
I'm not saying the years past were horrible. There were some trying times, but not as bad as some people experience. I was always broke, but I managed to get through. I was without a good partner, or any partner, for most of it, but I learned a lot about how to take care of things on my own. Much of my adult life was taken up by working long hours, but on the other hand, I always had a job.
But now, I have a good partner, and the financial distress has eased. My heallth is good (though I know that can change overnight). Life still isn't perfect and never will be--I have experienced serious family problems these past few weeks.
Still, it's better than most of the past ever was. I am looking forward, and there is much I hope to never again see in my rearview mirror.
I couldn't answer this. 0-10 was good because as a kid, if you have decent parents, you don't know how difficult life can be as an adult. After that, I would say 20-40 because life for me was mostly fun, as I had not yet truly committed to any one career or relationship, and so when something wasn't working, I felt free to change it. After 40, I think most people are more focused on "security"; and after 60 (I'm 66 now), one is still worried about security, but then health issues also usually become a concern. In hindsight, my BEST years were ages 30-40.
I couldn't answer this. 0-10 was good because as a kid, if you have decent parents, you don't know how difficult life can be as an adult. After that, I would say 20-40 because life for me was mostly fun, as I had not yet truly committed to any one career or relationship, and so when something wasn't working, I felt free to change it. After 40, I think most people are more focused on "security"; and after 60 (I'm 66 now), one is still worried about security, but then health issues also usually become a concern. In hindsight, my BEST years were ages 30-40.
(Ages 10-20 were the WORST for me so far, btw.)
^Same here. I have to say that was the worst decade of my life.
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