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I turned 50 this year and I'm starting to notice my age now where before I felt like I was always in the middle somewhere. Looking back over my life I feel like between age of 20-40 was the best age range.
After I turned 40 my health started to go, and now I see how fast life is passing by. The last 20 years was almost blink of an eye I worry the next 20 years will be even faster.
Now...I'm 42. After a stretch of testing out some different career tracks, dating around a lot, moving around a lot from my early twenties to mid - thirties, in very rapid succession, life started to "click" for me. Found a city that's a great fit, met my husband, got a graduate degree in a field that suits me, and had two babies. Moving around a bit and seeing the world thanks to spouse's military career. It's an especially fruitful, exciting stretch.
When I was 55 we found that I had aggressive prostate cancer, it was removed, but then cancer came back four years later. Now I am 60, last summer I went through radiation treatment and hormone therapy. I am still on hormone therapy [which is actually Chemical castration]. It affects all parts of my life. I have very little energy, my muscle strength is fading, my depression got so bad I had to go onto anti-depressants. Overall I am now frail.
I had no idea of how quickly my health was going to slide into being so frail.
I'm 51, and I agree, it flies by even if you're not in a good place. When I was young I thought I had all the time in the world and old age was a long time away. Now in my last decade of being fairly young, I'm in sort of a panic. Nothing has gone the way I thought it would. I'm single with no family of my own and it haunts me daily. Now that I've learned from all my mistakes and corrected a lot of it, nobody wants me. I'm looking at 30 years (at most) of being alone. That doesn't make me optimistic at all. I voted 20-40, but really 28-33ish were my best years. Unfortunately, I didn't know what I had or how fast it would vanish.
I'm 51, and I agree, it flies by even if you're not in a good place. When I was young I thought I had all the time in the world and old age was a long time away. Now in my last decade of being fairly young, I'm in sort of a panic. Nothing has gone the way I thought it would. I'm single with no family of my own and it haunts me daily. Now that I've learned from all my mistakes and corrected a lot of it, nobody wants me. I'm looking at 30 years (at most) of being alone. That doesn't make me optimistic at all. I voted 20-40, but really 28-33ish were my best years. Unfortunately, I didn't know what I had or how fast it would vanish.
I'm in kind of the same boat I'm married but with someone who never wanted children her family is part of a religion who keeps us at a distance because we are not part of that they don't include us in any family activities. If I could do it over again I would find someone who wanted children and had a family of my own those days are gone now.
You still could find someone who might be divorced have kids. My uncle did that he met his current wife she had teen age kids he loves being with them. It's not too late for you to find someone just have to try.
My current plan is to try and live out our final years on the move not living in one place too long maybe 2-3 years in a state until we retire. That way we can explore the country and not just live in a ground hog day (the movie) life. What I miss about being young is exploring the world everything being new. When life gets old and boring the years pass hardly remember one from the other.
Location: Unlike most on CD, I'm not afraid to give my location: Milwaukee, WI.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Submariner
I voted 20-40.
When I was 55 we found that I had aggressive prostate cancer, it was removed, but then cancer came back four years later. Now I am 60, last summer I went through radiation treatment and hormone therapy. I am still on hormone therapy [which is actually Chemical castration]. It affects all parts of my life. I have very little energy, my muscle strength is fading, my depression got so bad I had to go onto anti-depressants. Overall I am now frail.
I had no idea of how quickly my health was going to slide into being so frail.
Damn, man. I really hope some way, some how, things will get better. I've seen many of your posts and you're a good dude.
When I was 55 we found that I had aggressive prostate cancer, it was removed, but then cancer came back four years later. Now I am 60, last summer I went through radiation treatment and hormone therapy. I am still on hormone therapy [which is actually Chemical castration]. It affects all parts of my life. I have very little energy, my muscle strength is fading, my depression got so bad I had to go onto anti-depressants. Overall I am now frail.
I had no idea of how quickly my health was going to slide into being so frail.
Have you looked into seeing other doctors
My grandfather was in his 80's good health when they put a pace maker after he had a sudden cardiac arrest the doctor programmed it incorrectly. It would turn on make him weak all of a sudden he went like that for 5 years thought it was going to live with it.
The doctor kept telling him that there was nothing wrong with the pacemaker my uncle convinced him to see another younger doctor. This doctor had called in a rep from the pacemaker company who looked at the way it was programmed quickly found the problem. With in a few minutes he felt 100% better he lost 5 years of his life at 85 that is like 20 younger years.
I wanted him to file a malpractice lawsuit but he said the other doctor did save his life he had a cardiac arrest at the hospital so he just let it go. I get doctors make mistakes but he was arrogant because he told my grandfather that he basically knows what he is doing and the pacemaker was working correctly refused to even look at it. It was the only thing had been done we knew it had something to do with that.
To add to my earlier post, I've often felt that young people are oversold on the awesomeness of their twenties. Even while in the process of experiencing my twenties, I was calling BS on that one. Super overrated.
I guess it depends on what your 20's were like I just remember the feeling of freedom from my parents I moved out at 21 and just felt so freeing. I could make a decision what I wanted to do every minute without having to accommodate anyone else.
I guess because I had four years of college where I was a free agent (wasn't under parent financing, moved away to a school 500 miles and two states away where I knew nobody), by the time I graduated and started young adult life post-college, that was all kind of old hat by that point.
My twenties were kind of a grind of establishing myself professionally, putting that degree to use, moving around a lot, and working a grotesque number of hours breaking into my then-field. I was probably more free as a teenager living at home, TBH, than I was from 22-30. I had no house rules, true...but I also had zero time. And then there was all the uncertainty...am I on the right track? Where should I live? What are the tradeoffs? Every decision felt really high stakes at the time, because I was years from realizing that you actually can just walk away from stuff dropping the proverbial lit match behind you, and it's not really always as high stakes as you think. You can always start over on a new path. But, then, it felt like I was supposed to be mapping this solid course. I was supposed to be dating all the time, because that's what twentysomethings do, right, date all the time? And if I wasn't, gee, I'd get left behind, and nobody would want to date any woman in her (gasp) 30s, but at the same time, that wasn't a big pull in my life at the time, etc.
Twenties were a lot of uncertainty and pressure, for me, both self-imposed and otherwise. It took me a long time to figure out how to hit the brakes on all that. My thirties were really good, and I got better at the big picture, and balance. And so far, my 40s have been great. I became a parent at 38 and we had our second when I was 40, and that's been awesome.
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