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Old 10-26-2020, 11:09 AM
 
Location: 89052 & 75206
7,818 posts, read 7,238,240 times
Reputation: 18904

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I get it. But want to share my story........

I was widowed at age 50 after 6 months of doing hospice with my late husband. When he died, it was the first time in my entire life that I lived alone. And I liked it.

I remarried at age 55 to a man who traveled internationally on his job. He typically left on Sunday evenings and would be gone until Thursday evenings. And then went into the office on Fridays. I worked from home most of that time. It was great.

When we were 63, my husband changed roles in his company and stopped traveling. He was home for dinner every night. I kind of went a little crazy but enjoyed our evening walks with our dogs after dinner on weekday nights. I adjusted...At least I had 40 hours a week to myself. But it was hard.

When we were 65, my husband retired. We sold our large house and moved to a downtown condo about 1/3 the size of our house. He started training for marathons and I loved when he went for a long run or to the gym. I started taking long drives and walks with just the dogs. I was kind of going bonkers.

When we were 68, we bought a house in a active 55+ community. We joined clubs together and separately. We joined a hiking club, and sometimes when there’s a hike we both like, I don’t go just to have the house to myself. But now with Covid, there’s more home time together. I encourage him to go out without me and he sometimes does. And I love that. But pretty much, I’ve adjusted and sometimes just take a long, hot bath for “me” time.

We are now 71. A few times a year we learn of friends who have become widowed. And I try to be grateful for every day we have together.......
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Old 10-26-2020, 12:31 PM
 
Location: Florida
7,196 posts, read 5,293,040 times
Reputation: 12328
I hear you! I work from home and my husband and son work outside the home. My daughter homeschools, but she's quiet and independent, so most of the time, the house is very quiet.

Husband and son (who work together) were home for 7 weeks during April and May. Our television is in the converted garage, so at least I didn't have to hear that. But they walked in and out of the rest of the house, talked loudly, clanged dishes, got the dog riled up, etc, etc.

I was so glad when they went back to work....
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Old 10-26-2020, 03:37 PM
 
7,529 posts, read 4,597,517 times
Reputation: 33551
Quote:
Originally Posted by WorldKlas View Post

We are now 71. A few times a year we learn of friends who have become widowed. And I try to be grateful for every day we have together.......
Thank you for sharing your lovely story. I liked your honesty.

I am grateful. I would not want to trade my life, just so difficult adjusting. It has been seven months and I don't think I have adjusted at all. I just don't know how to stop that anxious feeling I have. I remember as a child, I would be grouchy if I was not the first one up on the weekends when everyone was still asleep. I remember as a school girl faking sick a couple of times a year just to be home alone.

Today mid afternoon husband went for a walk and asked my son to come along. It was nice to have the house to myself even if it was just for an hour or so. Grateful for that
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Old 10-26-2020, 08:54 PM
 
3,882 posts, read 1,888,270 times
Reputation: 5531
Try being alone with no one caring about you. I’d prefer your life. Be grateful for people that love you
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Old 10-27-2020, 09:47 AM
 
Location: SW Florida
14,625 posts, read 8,851,819 times
Reputation: 30620
Quote:
Originally Posted by GiGi603 View Post
Venting.

I feel like I am going to burst some days. My husband just doesn't get it, his life has changed very little with this Pandemic. He used to work from home two days a week, now everyday he works from home. I used to off on Mondays and have the day to myself in my home. Other two days I would be home by 2:30pm and be home alone until 7pm.

I feel stifled. I miss my time alone. He doesn't get it. He takes it personally when I say I need time alone in our home. It is not like he bugs me. He is in his home office most of the day. I just embrace being alone in our house.

Last week on my birthday I told my son the best gift he could give me is time alone. Please take Dad somewhere for the day. Which he did. I had a wonderful day alone.

I love my family, but I need my time alone. My third son is now home due to unemployment due to the Pandemic. I just miss being home alone. It isn't the same if I just go somewhere alone. I love the solitude of my home.

So depressed...
I completely understand where you're coming from. I usually am by myself and I love it. However my son and his girlfriend are here for a few weeks and I hate it. Then I have my granddaughter every other weekend and even though she is only 11 and a pretty good kid; it's just not the same as being alone. I have to worry about making her dinner and making sure there are things she likes in the house.

I think you are probably an introvert like myself who enjoys plenty of alone time. Just remember this too shall pass and then we'll be all alone again!
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Old 10-28-2020, 10:44 AM
 
2,690 posts, read 1,355,133 times
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I'm all for partners/spouses to own a house right next to each other or even across town....
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Old 10-30-2020, 12:04 PM
 
Location: Islip,NY
20,281 posts, read 26,151,083 times
Reputation: 23501
Although I love my husband dearly and enjoy my time with him he has been working from home since March. I used to have from 5-6:30 pm my alone time before he got home and we ate dinner. and 1 hour by myself in the morning till I had to leave for work. he would leave at 7:30 am and I leave at 8:30 am. I don't have that now. I used to vacuum the house before I left for work but I can't now because he's on the phone with customers. He's done with work at 5:00 pm now. I used to love coming home to a quiet house after a busy day at the office. I still enjoy coming home but now it's a bit different with hubby already there. He loves working from home. I would also do light house cleaning after work but now I come in the door and start dinner. We eat earlier now that he works from home.
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Old 10-30-2020, 03:23 PM
 
Location: 89052 & 75206
7,818 posts, read 7,238,240 times
Reputation: 18904
Quote:
Originally Posted by lubby View Post
Although I love my husband dearly and enjoy my time with him he has been working from home since March. I used to have from 5-6:30 pm my alone time before he got home and we ate dinner. and 1 hour by myself in the morning till I had to leave for work. he would leave at 7:30 am and I leave at 8:30 am. I don't have that now. I used to vacuum the house before I left for work but I can't now because he's on the phone with customers. He's done with work at 5:00 pm now. I used to love coming home to a quiet house after a busy day at the office. I still enjoy coming home but now it's a bit different with hubby already there. He loves working from home. I would also do light house cleaning after work but now I come in the door and start dinner. We eat earlier now that he works from home.
He needs to do some housework before you get home, its his turn.
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Old 10-31-2020, 05:23 PM
 
Location: Islip,NY
20,281 posts, read 26,151,083 times
Reputation: 23501
Quote:
Originally Posted by foxyknoxy View Post
Try being alone with no one caring about you. I’d prefer your life. Be grateful for people that love you
This is true. We complain about our loved ones then when they are gone we wish they were still here.
I am sorry you feel no one cares about you. I guess you don't have any family you can count on? Consider CD your family.
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Old 10-31-2020, 05:34 PM
 
2,690 posts, read 1,355,133 times
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I notice this is all women, ahem ladies, I believe, who are having this problem. What about when they retire? I've heard for decades that men when they retire, well some men, not ALL men, become rather clingy, or want to chit-chat too often after they retire. So the covid work from home is really a trial run for what comes later...
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