Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Hi everyone, been pondering about this for a few days and can't make up my mind. The question is, would you date a person you all ready from the start knew had an eating disorder(Binge eating/hardly eating for periods, counting calories etc.)? I don't have any personal experience from ED, no relatives or friends etc. that I know of that has ED, so totally new to this. I work in healthcare and are educated so obviously I know what that means in general and what follows, but yeah...She seems very well aware of her problem and have seeked help for it multiple times though and she basically told me this right from the start and her ED doesn't seem that extreme but nevertheless.
And so you all don't think I'm a shallow a-hole, down below is my concern, and my concern is for her; I am training very hard and pretty serious about that, thus I track my food intake to some degree on a daily basis, mainly because I am having a hard time to get enough calories in, I.e I am eating very much, healthy and often, as we "pro amateurs" do LOL. To fill up with carbs, "easy calories", I also eat some "junk" probably every week , candy, ice cream etc. A pretty usual sight at home is seeing me in the kitchen with my food scale on the counter, mixing carb drinks for my sessions or what have you. Now ponder many months ahead and we live together/spend time together and she is seeing me doing that, wouldn't that be a massive trigger for her, I mean she is trying to get over her ED and there I am, "binging" on Gatorade and Snickers 10min before my run? I also might add, I love food, like to cook etc.
Maybe this whole thing is doomed from the start? How would you guys do?
Thought "ED" meant something else, almost clickbait. Amusing in any case. I can partially answer to this matter however:
Personally I didn't have an eating disorder per my nutritional doctor. She's qualified to diagnose or refer to others for more-formal diagnosis. We talked about it several times in-detail. HOWEVER: Sure did and do have a weight problem in the sense that it's chronic as far as I'm concerned! That I've cured the symptom...morbid obesity...is incidental. In the course of managing the condition I've spent quite a bit of time researching the thought process behind it for both men and women.
You're not a "shallow a-hole" for following evolutionary psychology imperatives. That we're waiting to be shouted down for even voicing an opinion indicates how far this garbage narrative has gone. I find that narrative incredibly tiresome. At no point in history have men been attracted on-average to morbidly obese women, disease, other red flags indicating poor health. Thus also signaling poor fertility! The social narrative these days is ridiculous to suggest otherwise. Men cannot be coerced or socialized into being attracted to that which, on average, simply... isn't.
If you want to take on red flags in a woman, go ahead. It's a free country. Will it lead to woe: yes. How do I know: been-there, done-that, got the t-shirt a couple times before I knew better. My wisdom is from experience, not pure intellectual horsepower to be honest. I must track my food intake similar to you to keep me mindful. Those who have eating disorders, or "aberrant thinking around food" and aren't addressing it head-on will crash sooner or later. If you're signing up to be on that train, awesome(?). Otherwise...
I'll start by my ailment perspective.
I'm an alcoholic.
30 years sober though.
So when my friends visit with their libations, I figure. They can handle it.
I choose to remain sober.
So in your futuristic scenario, this person who has this life long condition ...can choose to be accountable for her healthy eating habit.
And fwiw, my son counts calories in his weight training. Not once does he binge on those snacks you mention. He increases thru certain healthy power drinks. Not some processed or sugar junk. Maybe you can learn to modify your eating surge.
Thought "ED" meant something else, almost clickbait. Amusing in any case. I can partially answer to this matter however:
...
Hi, thanks for the answer! Do you think it matters in which "stage" the eating disorder is, considering that she seems well aware of it and is, from what I understand, trying hard to get better and actually acknowledge that she ha a problem? Also, do you think I should just simply ask her how she would feel about being with someone that...well, loves food and exercising, LOL. Sports and nutrition has always been my "passion" in life and I wouldn't change that for all the money in the world.
I'll start by my ailment perspective.
I'm an alcoholic.
30 years sober though.
So when my friends visit with their libations, I figure. They can handle it.
I choose to remain sober.
So in your futuristic scenario, this person who has this life long condition ...can choose to be accountable for her healthy eating habit.
And fwiw, my son counts calories in his weight training. Not once does he binge on those snacks you mention. He increases thru certain healthy power drinks. Not some processed or sugar junk. Maybe you can learn to modify your eating surge.
Hi, thanks for the answer.
Fwiw, I've been into fitness/bodybuilding for a solid 8-10 years before shifting focus to endurance sports, you can't compare those two regarding caloric intake, lifting weights does not burn any major calories. Some days I burn up to 3500-4000 calories/day, it is impossible to make up for that with only whole wheat bread and porridge. That said, yes, 90% of my food is "clean & healthy".
When you put "dating" and "ED" in the same sentence, you're going to think one specific thing.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
