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Not sure which forum this thread was more appropriate in. I probably chose the wrong one, LOL. Yesterday I was searching for my stash of 8X10s I had been getting printed off. but could not find them. I did somehow find a few birthday cards from my ex while we were married that I obviously had packed away but chose not to throw away.
I'm still not sure what to do with them. Here's why I kept them in the first place. They do remind me that in spite of things we said (or yelled) at the end of the marriage, at one time we really did have legit feelings for one another. Sometimes I forget this. Finding the cards did give me a sinking feeling at the same time, but I still kept them and did not chunk them.
What do you do? Do you keep old mementoes from the past like this?
A couple of years ago I sorted through old papers and cheerfully threw away a big pile of letters from one old flame, but found myself completely unable to do the same with the letters from the other old flame. So I guess it depends.
I've never received what I'd describe as a "love letter". Nothing gushy or sticky sweet. I have kept a few specific "event" cards and beautifully composed letters I enjoy re-reading for nostalgia's sake. Seems like a different thing. If a card or letter made me feel bad every time I read it, why would I keep it?
Not sure which forum this thread was more appropriate in. I probably chose the wrong one, LOL. Yesterday I was searching for my stash of 8X10s I had been getting printed off. but could not find them. I did somehow find a few birthday cards from my ex while we were married that I obviously had packed away but chose not to throw away.
I'm still not sure what to do with them. Here's why I kept them in the first place. They do remind me that in spite of things we said (or yelled) at the end of the marriage, at one time we really did have legit feelings for one another. Sometimes I forget this. Finding the cards did give me a sinking feeling at the same time, but I still kept them and did not chunk them.
What do you do? Do you keep old mementoes from the past like this?
I keep them. It was part of my life; throwing them away isn't going to change that (and I like to hang on to keep-sakes like that. Some of them; not a hoarder here). Maybe I have a healthier emotional state than other people though; hanging onto those things wouldn't cause me to like sink into a despair upon finding them. A bit of sadness, nostalgia, things like that; that's normal. That's typically not a disruption to life. I think if it did however cause serious problems upon coming across something like that, then it would be best to get rid of them in the effort to put anything that has the ability to do that out of harm's reach (it sounds like you yourself are good in that area though).
I have old letters and notes and stuff from my first long-term relationship (which ended well; we just grew apart and developed strongly different values as we aged. Well, I did--his remained the same). And then I have a ton of actual letters from my husband who unexpectedly passed away a few years ago; those I'll never willingly discard (but I don't think that's quite what you indicated; the first situation would be more of what you're talking about).
Quote:
Originally Posted by Parnassia
I've never received what I'd describe as a "love letter". Nothing gushy or sticky sweet. I have kept a few specific "event" cards and beautifully composed letters I enjoy re-reading for nostalgia's sake. Seems like a different thing. ...
Oh, I thought that was what he meant actually; like "love letters" in a generic way--any kind of written indication of a past relationship. I don't think I have any actual *love letters* from my first long-term relationship. He wasn't a writer like my husband was. Just like notes and stuff; and drawings that I did actually while thinking about him (I wish I could remember more what's in there--I know there are some things with his handwriting. Oh, I did keep this book that I bought when we were in the relationship, "All about us". I filled it out first and gave it to him. He didn't give it back to me until after we parted. But I felt like I just couldn't throw it out, that it would be too cruel. We remained friends and he had feelings for me for a long while after we parted, which I wished I could have returned). I have those other things all in a little envelope somewhere; I came across them while moving--I actually can't say where exactly they are (like I can with my husband's letters), but I know I didn't throw them out! (The book I know where it's at).
Last edited by Basiliximab; 04-18-2022 at 03:57 AM..
I basically tossed everything from the guys I don't care about/think about. I've kept things from others, there are some things I will never get rid of.
I have one ex in particular, we were very much in love. He used to give me jewelry, and cards, letters. I still have most of those. A few years ago, he even sent me a photo of an old letter w/ drawings on it I gave him 17 years ago that he kept. So I know he has kept mementos from me, as well. It's safe to say that we both describe one another as 'the one that got away' - the feeling is mutual in that regard.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SUPbud
maybe in so many years they will give you comfort or warm feelings that somebody loved you, once upon a time.
My ex and I had a trans-Atlantic long distance relationship in college and for about a year before we got married. For some reason, I ended up with both sides of the correspondence that was exchanged. I pick through them every once in awhile because of the wonderful picture they paint about what was going on in the world on both continents back then, and tales of hijinks with friends and strangers. I liked who we were back then so I enjoy "visiting us" from a far away time.
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