Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Thank you so much for your response. Kinder, more understanding words have never been said to me regarding this situation. I think most people just figure that I should kick her out of my life for good, but as you said, regardless of the environment growing up, she IS still my mother. You give me hope when you say that releasing yourself from the responsibility of your mother has allowed you to love her. I hope as I continue to try and find my own path away from my own mother, that I am able to find love for her as well.
i was raised by a mother with bipolar disorder after my father who is paranoid schizophrenic wandered away...it's a rather surreal upbringing that still affects me. I have a wide social network yet none has anything like a similar family dynamic...i've worked through a lot of the anger i carried in my younger years yet it seems to affect me more as a grow older as i tend to feel disconnected...recently my father returned into my life - sort of...
....That is pretty much my story. I am an only child. My parents actually met at a mental institution. They are both absolutely difficult. My mother Is very needy. My whole life, no one in my family had a clue what it was like living wit her, day in and day out. When she had episodes, it was very scary.. the things she said and did were embarrassing, and she made me out to be the bad guy to her case workers, and family members so she could get sympathy. she loves sympathy, and sometimes I feel as though her day is driven to bring me down and break me.
Mostly I think I have done a great job being patient, I had a break while I was away at college, but now that I've just graduated in May, I'm at home with her, and her neediness is at an all-time high. I almost cried today. I love my mother, but I don't want to abandon her. I feel guilty every day. All I want to do is to get away from her... far far away. The guilt is terrible. She is 50 years old, and needs me to do everything for her. I feel like she's 70. I'm glad I found this forum to share how I feel with people that will understand and not share in blaming me for her illness.
I understand COMPLETELY. I am 22, and my mother is bipolar. I just graduated in May, so this is the first time actually back LIVING at home. I mean just coming back for breaks was bad enough. I always found someplace else to be. My mother right now is driving me insane. Very needy. None of my friends really have any idea. I have a lot of friends, and I just describe her as "difficult" and "driving me insane." People laugh it off, because I act and carry myself like I handle it well. I generally do, but with the stress of studying for the LSAT.. working, networking, and a bunch of other projects, she has become even more needy. I feel like she wants to pull me down, slow me down, do anything to get my attention (inculding starting fights) and her fights are insane because she has the most effed up skill to jump from one misconcieved idea to the next in 2.5 seconds. A lot of what she says is inappropriate and disturbing.. I would just say, try to explain that you need space, while addressing that you know she might not like the idea, but it's nothing personal, it's just what I need. My mother doesn't understand that concept. It's a constant battle.
I understand COMPLETELY. I am 22, and my mother is bipolar. I just graduated in May, so this is the first time actually back LIVING at home. I mean just coming back for breaks was bad enough. I always found someplace else to be. My mother right now is driving me insane. Very needy. None of my friends really have any idea. I have a lot of friends, and I just describe her as "difficult" and "driving me insane." People laugh it off, because I act and carry myself like I handle it well. I generally do, but with the stress of studying for the LSAT.. working, networking, and a bunch of other projects, she has become even more needy. I feel like she wants to pull me down, slow me down, do anything to get my attention (inculding starting fights) and her fights are insane because she has the most effed up skill to jump from one misconcieved idea to the next in 2.5 seconds. A lot of what she says is inappropriate and disturbing.. I would just say, try to explain that you need space, while addressing that you know she might not like the idea, but it's nothing personal, it's just what I need. My mother doesn't understand that concept. It's a constant battle.
Oh my goodness, Im glad Im not alone! My mother has been diagnosed with schitz/bipolar/manic depression! Growing up was hard she had 3 children from a previous marriage and then me 11 years later. Growing up I think, that happen when I was born, she never showed us to be a family. We survived and as they got married and left. Things got worse for me, they were all gone and did not want to look back and visit. She began, to lock us up in a room and start chanting from the bible, put the tv on a static channel and make me watch nothing. I remember, she would make me watch that gospel chanel 24/7. It was so scarey, Im so traumatized listening to church prayers. I want to run 100 mph get away. NObody really understands, and never will because as a child growing up with a mentally ill parent we are the only ones that know how its scarey. Im all grown up now! Shes in a nursing home and Im the bad little kid who put her away. NOW, im married and have my own children and I try so hard to let them know I love them and will always need them close to my heart.
My mother is a bipolar schizophrenic.... as you all know it's such a strange childhood to grow up in. I'm 39 now & still struggle with the crazy things my mother did to me when I was younger... My mother is out of my life now. She is in an assisted living facility and I have refused for many years to be involved w/her drama. What I struggle with most now at this stage in my life is forgiveness. Supposedly, my life an inner self will have peace once I can forgive my mother for the atrocities of a lost childhood. I simply just can't forgive my mother & I don't know what to do about it. Is it really possible to forgive? any suggestions or advice you could throw my way would be great!
There is no magic wand. Your childhood was bad. Life is not fair. You may not be able to forgive, that is okay, you don't have to do that. The important thing, is to recognize how it affects you now, and not to internalize all of those issues. Easier said than done. Recognize, she did the best that she could, and you are now doing the best that you can. That is all you can do. The key to living your best life, is to identify each day, what you can do to improve your life, and then, actually do those things. As you do these things, the internal issues that you have will be less important, and the current issues in your life, to improve your current circumstances will be more important.
I don't think that you have to forgive any one anything. You just need to reconcile that, and move forward. Beating yourself up because you can't forgive is what is causing the internal struggle. So...don't do it.
I am an adult child of a bi-polar parent. My father was bipolar and used alcohol to cope. Unfortunately i have a 34 yr old son, 2 brothers and a nephew who were also diagnosed bipolar. It seems to run in males in my family. I was wondering if anyone else has this much of the disease in thier famly? Fortunately I have 6 grand daughters so maybe it will not affect the family in the next generation
I too have more than one bipolar family member so I can relate to your situation. My father was bipolar and alcoholic most of his life. We had an on again off again relationship until he became physically ill and his then wife #4 tried to leave him in a nursing home at 62 yrs old. I had to fight her for him and took him in until he passed away at 64. He wasnt always there for us children and he was abusive verbally and physically to our mother who divorced him when 40 yrs ago, But, with all of that said, I took care of him for the last 2 1\2 yrs of his life and although it was very difficult I wouldn't have done anything differently. I have to say that I never really expected too much from him growing up or as an adult but I do know that he did love me as his daughter and I didn't realize it until the end. He was a good soul even if he was bipolar. My son, brother and 2 nephews are also bipolar so I know how difficult it can be. Sometimes you feel like the only sane person in your life!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
mother bipolar, father schizophrenic
I'm glad I found this forum to share how I feel with people that will understand and not share in blaming me for her illness.
