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How can you tell if a person is bipolar or just a plain nasty jerk?
If a person is diagnosed with Bipolar, does that mean that everytime he opens his mouth every day and says something nasty or is short tempered and irritable, it's because of this disorder. Is it the reason for the constant verbal abuse that includes name calling and foul language.... even if this person is on medication.
I've done so much research, but it all says that bipolar is about having episodes. I've seen nothing about the day to day acting like a a--hole.
He still has bad days and good days, but even on his good days, he can't handle even small stresses like children sqabbling or being asked to pick up after himself.
He also continues to do things behind my back. He causes problems for me and my kids in the community and hides it from me. Is it part of Bipolar to be that calculating? I'm just not finding any documented research to support that.
How old was this person when he was finally diagnosed and got treatment?
There is literature, and I've seen it in my professional experience, that if a person is living with a mental illness for years before getting help, they can often develop some signs of personality disorders.
If your friend's nastiness and irritability and poor impulse control is not occurring during actual manic, hypomanic, or depressed episodes, it could be more of a personality trait that has developed. This kind of thing can be addressed in therapy if/when the person can see how it negatively affects his life.
Regarding the "doing things behind your back"... are you the parent, or the wife? Is he an adult? I'm just wondering because many younger men (women too, but worse for young men) who have mental illnesses take a while to accept it, and to agree to meds and services, etc. They also seem to struggle a lot with navigating from a child role to an adult role. If the illness starts in the teen years, the person often seems to get stuck at that age for an extended period of time. Like if the illness began at age 15, the person's emotional development and maturity can seem stuck at the age of 15 for quite a while. Think of a normal 15 year old: They test limits, see what they can get away with, and try to demonstrate that they are separate from their parents. Keeping secrets and even telling lies are ways a child or an immature person finds to feel separate and independent. Also, if the person is in middle adulthood and just recently got diagnosed, there light be even more years to catch up on with regard to emotional maturity.
Finding out that you have a serious illness can leave a person really resentful and angry. It's easiest to take this out on family. Especially if you are trying to live an independent adult life, and you see people your age doing that, but you can't seem to do the same, due to an illness.
Have you tried attending meetings with NAMI? You might feel very relieved and comforted to know that you are not going through this alone, and they can provide you with useful advice.
It might not help BUT my faimly thought I was bipolar...Got tested and Doc says I'm an ******* and there's no medication for it.I've been working on it and have been getting a bit better The first step is admitting you AFU'd
They could have borderline personality disorder. Borderline people can be sweet as anything and then at the drop of a hat for no reason, fly into a rage. It's REALLY tough growing up with a parent with this disorder. The kids constantly walk on eggshells and are always worried about the parent's "mood". I know because I have a parent who has this. She hasn't been diagnosed but she definitely fits the profile. She would NEVER admit she had a problem.
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