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Old 09-08-2008, 06:41 PM
 
Location: Wilkes-Barre, PA
1,899 posts, read 3,374,342 times
Reputation: 1634

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It goes way back when I found this poem written by my recently then gone bipolar brother. He was attending college to become a lawyer and finished the first four years great planning on going the distance. Then he got sick and has degenerated almost twenty years later into a permanent resident of a government facility.

During a brief period of lucidity about ten years ago he was spending time at our Mother's house and writing alot of poetry. Being an aspiring musician and visiting my Mother after he had left, my vocalist and I noticed the pile of poems left behind and read them. We decided to write a song using one of the poems. Listening back after so many years it sort of hit me, this was one of his last truly sane moments and he cleary stated his struggle. We knew we had a powerful message but most of you know the music biz, so it has stayed obscure. I decided to post it tonight to maybe give a few courage to fight their demons.

Scroll down to the song called "The Abyss"

Music page of Artisma - MP3 music page on SoundClick

Last edited by Chefkey; 09-08-2008 at 07:44 PM..
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Old 09-08-2008, 07:01 PM
 
Location: Wilkes-Barre, PA
1,899 posts, read 3,374,342 times
Reputation: 1634
Here is the poem as scripted to fit the song

I gaze into its blackness as its vacuum sucks me in
I try with might to escape it tis a battle I can’t win
This fear it rips my body the ache it fills my soul
I try with might to shake it as the hours take their toll

Now I see the with anger and frustration
I have my seer for damnation
I curse nature for creation
Can’t stop my minds imagination

Chorus

I question the will of God
I soar surf and sky
I spit into the fire
I am ready now to die

This abyss does not frighten me
The one I know now does
It holds me likes a hornet
And stings me with its buzz

I'll walk through the meadow
I’ll look upon the stars
I’ll sleep the sleep worth sleeping
As the Angels sing their bars

I doubt I’ll last much longer
Perhaps a day and then I’ll leave
Perhaps a day until the grim one
Will finally have his reap

I pace the room with frustration
I’m banging my head in frustration
My body is one I’m getting tired
Stop my flesh burning in this fire

Chorus

Peace, Oh yes peace
There is a better place for me
Drowning in this sea
I’m weighted down I cannot breathe

Losing my mind is just another casualty of life
But this time it will not get a hold of me

Last edited by june 7th; 09-10-2008 at 12:37 PM..
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Old 09-08-2008, 09:12 PM
 
Location: Wu Dang Mountain
12,941 posts, read 19,885,229 times
Reputation: 8668
That's beautiful - haunting, but beautiful.
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Old 09-09-2008, 08:02 AM
 
Location: In the real world!
2,178 posts, read 8,761,691 times
Reputation: 2806
Your brother would be proud of the music you put to his poem. I hope someday he finds his peace.

I have a friend that suffers from depression and she wrote a poem years ago and sent me a copy of it. It was about the darkness she lives in and it was beautiful, it was published in a book of poems somewhere. It helped us understand what life was like for her.
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Old 09-09-2008, 08:19 AM
 
Location: Moon Over Palmettos
5,975 posts, read 18,136,353 times
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Those lyrics have me choked up. Hopefully, his writing would promote more awareness of this often misunderstood affliction. I hope he found the peace he never found while he could still understand its meaning.
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Old 09-10-2008, 04:34 PM
 
Location: Wilkes-Barre, PA
1,899 posts, read 3,374,342 times
Reputation: 1634
I'm glad to know his poem was able to touch lives and give his some meaning.
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Old 09-10-2008, 04:44 PM
 
485 posts, read 1,221,257 times
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Wowwy!
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Old 09-13-2008, 04:57 PM
 
65 posts, read 234,018 times
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Chefkey, that was awesome. And that you were able to put it to music...it shows that you are able to connect with him on a deeper level (even now that he is gone) that most people who don't suffer from a mental illness ever do.

Thank you.

I too have written poetry, stories, and I have drawn when I'm on the upside. There is an energy that so fills you, it's impossible to hold in and has to be expressed in some manner, any manner. That is both the beauty and ugliness of bipolar disorder.
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Old 09-13-2008, 05:54 PM
 
Location: Wilkes-Barre, PA
1,899 posts, read 3,374,342 times
Reputation: 1634
Quote:
Originally Posted by chikaranotori View Post
Chefkey, that was awesome. And that you were able to put it to music...it shows that you are able to connect with him on a deeper level (even now that he is gone) that most people who don't suffer from a mental illness ever do.

Thank you.

I too have written poetry, stories, and I have drawn when I'm on the upside. There is an energy that so fills you, it's impossible to hold in and has to be expressed in some manner, any manner. That is both the beauty and ugliness of bipolar disorder.
Thank you Chika,

It was difficult to watch him suffer through the early stages when he would still have clarity on some days. It made me want to help him however I could, I had hoped maybe it would be picked up by a company so that he could benefit from royalties. After so many years passed though it is nice to see his work appreciated at some level.

He was a witty and very funny man before he became ill and in the very early days of his illness he wrote some lyrics for me that were just downright hilarious and we would make joke tapes for our friends. He would act like the pompous TV Anchorman while I would be interviewed and then he would go into all these different characters. Sometimes I think creativity may somehow be linked to bipolar disorders because if you look at the history of known famous mentally ill people, many of them were creative.

Thanks to all who have read his poem and got something out of it.
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Old 09-13-2008, 06:48 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 69,311,951 times
Reputation: 22493
That is a really amazing piece of work - both the poem and the music, as well!

One of my clients is a firm of therapists - and I am gonna share it w/ them. I also have family members struggling w/ BP disorder. We need to work to destigmatize mental illness so people will seek medical help.

Thank you for sharing this . . .
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