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A long time ago, in a doctors office in a far away land, we had a patient. This patient was a CLASSIC and extreme case of being bi-polar. He would come in one day and be totally fine / normal, be able to carry on a conversation, follow directions etc... The next day he'd come in, completely forgetting about the day before, hair and clothes unkempt, completely out of control, not making sense, etc.... I witnessed this patient like this for four years. He would rarely consistently take his meds because it's true - bi-polars do not like taking their medication. A lot of times they believe - really believe that the doctors are plotting against them and that's their excuse to not take the meds.
Unless you like VERY bumpy rides and compete confusion all the time - you may want to rethink this friendship unless this person is compliant with their medications - it's the only way you can get any sense out of them.
Because you are already talking about her lying, etc.. leads me to believe she is one of the non-compliant types with her meds.
Good luck.
So true and typical. This is not a typical story but a very dear friend of mine had been married for almost 40 years to a wonderful woman. They'd raised two great children, everything was rolling along just fine. She was a very soft-spoken, highly intelligent and talented "genteel" lady and they were enjoying their lives to the fullest and looking forward to his retirement in just a couple of years time.
A nasty hurricane hit here in 1995 and, in the aftermath, "Jane's" behavior became extremely odd and totally out of character. She was subsequently diagnosed bipolar and put on appropriate medication. For the next three years, "John's" life was in total turmoil. When Jane took her meds she was her usual self. Typically, though, she would go off them when she felt better and then would go through the wild swings. In the manic stages she would start wonderfully creative projects but never finish them as the manic stage wore down. She would then sink to the depths and sleep endlessly. Back on her meds and then off them again the same cycle repeated itself over and over again - a total roller-coaster. The adult children tried to help, there were countless consultations with medical experts in the field but to no avail. The end of the story was pretty awful.
This 60+ year old woman somehow hooked up with a low-life much younger man (around 35 years old) from the Dominican Republic who was here illegally. He had already been deported once but was again back in the territory illegally. John quickly found out about him when he found him in his house with his wife after returning unexpectedly early from a working day. John was devastated, kicked the guy out of the house, called the police and called the attending physician who immediately put Jane into the hospital's psych ward for evaluation.
Jane was released from the psych ward and prescribed medications but didn't take them. The illegal boyfriend was deported back to the DR. John discovered that his credit cards had been totally maxed out with "presents" which Jane had given to the low-life and he cut her off as a co-signatory. Jane disappeared. John was frantic, finally tracked her down as having gone to the DR to reunite with the low-life but he had no idea where exactly she was.
Alerts were put out with the DR authorities, consulates, police, etc. Two weeks or so later, Jane's body was found in a small stream in the DR. No evidence of foul play was found and it was later presumed that she had taken a walk, tripped and fell into the water where she drowned.
It was a horribly sad and awful ending. I'm happy to report that several months later John just happened to meet a wonderful woman. They subsequently married and are enjoying life on his big sailboat, wandering the Caribbean and enjoying life and each other. End of story.
So true and typical. This is not a typical story but a very dear friend of mine had been married for almost 40 years to a wonderful woman. They'd raised two great children, everything was rolling along just fine. She was a very soft-spoken, highly intelligent and talented "genteel" lady and they were enjoying their lives to the fullest and looking forward to his retirement in just a couple of years time.
A nasty hurricane hit here in 1995 and, in the aftermath, "Jane's" behavior became extremely odd and totally out of character. She was subsequently diagnosed bipolar and put on appropriate medication. For the next three years, "John's" life was in total turmoil. When Jane took her meds she was her usual self. Typically, though, she would go off them when she felt better and then would go through the wild swings. In the manic stages she would start wonderfully creative projects but never finish them as the manic stage wore down. She would then sink to the depths and sleep endlessly. Back on her meds and then off them again the same cycle repeated itself over and over again - a total roller-coaster. The adult children tried to help, there were countless consultations with medical experts in the field but to no avail. The end of the story was pretty awful.
This 60+ year old woman somehow hooked up with a low-life much younger man (around 35 years old) from the Dominican Republic who was here illegally. He had already been deported once but was again back in the territory illegally. John quickly found out about him when he found him in his house with his wife after returning unexpectedly early from a working day. John was devastated, kicked the guy out of the house, called the police and called the attending physician who immediately put Jane into the hospital's psych ward for evaluation.
Jane was released from the psych ward and prescribed medications but didn't take them. The illegal boyfriend was deported back to the DR. John discovered that his credit cards had been totally maxed out with "presents" which Jane had given to the low-life and he cut her off as a co-signatory. Jane disappeared. John was frantic, finally tracked her down as having gone to the DR to reunite with the low-life but he had no idea where exactly she was.
Alerts were put out with the DR authorities, consulates, police, etc. Two weeks or so later, Jane's body was found in a small stream in the DR. No evidence of foul play was found and it was later presumed that she had taken a walk, tripped and fell into the water where she drowned.
It was a horribly sad and awful ending. I'm happy to report that several months later John just happened to meet a wonderful woman. They subsequently married and are enjoying life on his big sailboat, wandering the Caribbean and enjoying life and each other. End of story.
Wow!!!! that is SOO tragic but, its like you said, he's met a new woman and all seems well. Such a long journey though to the light at the end of the tunnel. Very sad. Glad there was a happy ending.
hello
i am currently friends with a woman who is bi polar,since im not familiar with this illness i'd like to find someone who is and give me a little help on how they think on everyday life,she seems to lie but tells me shes not but everything always seems funny and the dumbest things seems to be more important to her.
O.k. I will just say this once...
"LEAVE!"
I am married to a woman I feel has that. I haven't been able to get her to a doctor to see if that is what she has but I have a good feeling it's something like that.
You are playing around with fire my friend. She is not going to be stable. They say that a bi-polar person only visits normalty. In other words they don't know what it feels like.
We can have a great life and have some down times and such but a bi-polar person is all over the place and only has rare times that life is great.
If this is a girlfriend you are dating...just leave her alone. It's hard to tell you this but you will be in my shoes in a really tough situation. Miserable and always trying to figure her out. Never really coming to a solution cause everything changes from one day to the next.
It's like STT said, it's dependant upon whether someone takes their medications as they are suppose to an not go off of them when they feel better.
I know someone who has high blood pressure, which can be fatal, and stops taking the medications when he sees it's lowered then wonders why they are back in the emergency room because it goes so high they go on the brink of a stroke.
It's really no different - it's like any other ailment that requires a regimine of medications to control
hello
i am currently friends with a woman who is bi polar,since im not familiar with this illness i'd like to find someone who is and give me a little help on how they think on everyday life,she seems to lie but tells me shes not but everything always seems funny and the dumbest things seems to be more important to her.
Why would you want to be in a relationship with someone that lies?
You do not want to go down bi-polar lane, listen to other posters here, it is a recipie for disaster.
I was married and had a child with a bi polar woman (did not find out until I took her to counseling) whom was violent, made false allegations to police, cheated on me on two occasions that I'm aware and finally I ended the marriage taking brief custody of our child.
You should perhaps take a very, very, long, close look in the mirror for even considering this!
Good luck!
I know plenty of people who lie that aren't bi-polar and bi-polars who don't lie.
I agree. ^
A lot of what's being said here is typical behavior for many people, not just those with bi-polar. That being said, if the OP has already experienced honesty issues with this person then I'd suggest they avoid having a serious relationship with them... that's just common sense, period.
While a large number of bi-polar people can be deceptive, unfaithful, moody, etc, these traits also apply to a large number of people who have never been diagnosed bi-polar. One of the largest issues in having a relationship with someone who has been diagnosed usually falls on the person without the disorder. If you treat this person as if they are "damaged goods" and not give them a chance to be "normal", chances of the relationship working are slim to none. How would you respond to your significant other labeling you & never letting you forget it?
Yes, there are up's & down's to dating, being married or related to someone who has BPD, but it's not as bad as most have made it sound. As long as the person does what they are supposed to do, there typically isn't many differences between them & the average person. I treat my girlfriend as if she were "normal" and honestly, I rarely see her as being bi-polar. During the tougher times I try to help her through it, just as I did in previous relationships with others. If you're not willing to do that you're probably not all that deserving of a fairy tale relationship anyway. Any strong relationship takes a lot of effort on the behalf of both parties, whether they have bi-polar or not.
I guess I should add this... Those diagnosed with bi-polar who refuse to take their medication and/or seek counseling can be a handful. I surely wouldn't want a relationship with someone who refused to accept it. Not to mention, if the person isn't willing to take care of themselves they're going to be nothing but trouble. I just thought I'd throw that in here to validate what some of the others have said. Just keep in mind that these less desirable behaviors usually occur while being off of their meds.
To sum it all up, at times it's almost a blessing being involved with someone with BPD... At least they make medications for it. As far as I know there isn't any prescription drugs available for "I think my poop doesn't stink" or the alike!
Last edited by Cisco GT; 09-23-2009 at 01:57 PM..
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that is SOO tragic but, its like you said, he's met a new woman and all seems well. Such a long journey though to the light at the end of the tunnel. Very sad. Glad there was a happy ending.
