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I agree with the others that say if he does not agree to staying in treatment, you'll need to think about yourself and your future without him. It may sound cold but being with a bipolar who won't get treated won't do your mental health any good.
I used to dread going home from work as I didn't know if my ex would be hyper, or hanging his head talking about killing himself. It got so bad I had to keep myself from telling him to go ahead and kill himself.
I've posted on the "Relationships" forum before but I figured I'd try this one.
My husband of 18 months was diagnosed with bipolar disorder back in late August of last year. He's been on Seroquel since and also has been seeing a psychologist.
However, he suddenly decided he doesn't want to be with me anymore...that he is not in love with me nor attracted to me. He's been distant for a while but never talked about it. I don't know what to do.
He says he is fine...but he's not. He has no motivation to look for a job and I've been supporting us for almost 8 months! He has crazy mood swings and he doesn't seem like the same man I fell in love with.
I don't know what to do.
We're seeing a marriage counselor next week....but I feel so lost
Had a gal pal once, who wasted 15 years of her life doing exactly what you've just described (financial support, etc.). The guy was bi-polar and a chronic cheat.
BTW FYI, cheating seems to go hand-in- hand with this mental illness. Your hubby may not be, but you should be aware and alert as to the extreme possibility.
Unless a miracle happens, you are destined for great heartbreak, and a lot of regret.
I didn't add that my ex hub who was bipolar was also a chronic cheat. Since he was very good-looking with a nice voice he had no trouble finding someone to do it with.
Check the meds too. Seroquel is not hugely popular for bipolor alone (it's for psychosis, control of excessive mania and schizophrenia), and is very often used in combination with a more traditional mood stabilizer. It will dampen things, but the swings can be still there.
Though, if he is unwilling to do anything else...there is nothing to do. You can't help some one who won't help themselves, or doesn't want you in their life. Sometimes the best thing you can do for a person is to let them find out themselves.
I've posted on the "Relationships" forum before but I figured I'd try this one.
My husband of 18 months was diagnosed with bipolar disorder back in late August of last year. He's been on Seroquel since and also has been seeing a psychologist.
However, he suddenly decided he doesn't want to be with me anymore...that he is not in love with me nor attracted to me. He's been distant for a while but never talked about it. I don't know what to do.
He says he is fine...but he's not. He has no motivation to look for a job and I've been supporting us for almost 8 months! He has crazy mood swings and he doesn't seem like the same man I fell in love with.
I don't know what to do.
We're seeing a marriage counselor next week....but I feel so lost
1. You married him before his diagnosis, but clearly he was bipolar before you married him. Maybe you prefer him in his unmedicated state?
2. If he's having mood swings and he's taking his meds, maybe he needs his meds adjusted. There are many meds on the market for bipolar disorders, and many are hit or miss. My son is bipolar and it tooks us several years to come up with the correct mix of drugs to stabilize him. Talk to the psychiatrist and give it a little more time.
3. Even if new meds are effective, you are in for a wild ride. My best wishes to you.
I think I have a different opinon of EVERYONE on this board. I DO NOT think you are necessarily in for a horrible, awful, wild heart breaking ride that will just have you "wasting" your life away... But he needs to get help.
I am bipolar. I do not cheat on my boyfriend and sleep with everyone. I do not try to kill myself --not that I've never cheated or attempted suicide--. I do however, go through many many mood swings occasionally when I'm not treated. There are two sides to bipolar, manic and depressed. It sounds like he's going through a phase of depression (and they vary in how long they can last). I think he needs to see someone, and get a medication adjustment. I tried what seemed like a million medications before I found something that worked. I still have phases where I sleep very little, and my thoughts seem far too fast... And there are times where I've not wanted to go out and do anything, or even get out of bed and when my boyfriend asked why all I could tell him was I didn't know, and cry. It definitely makes a relationship harder, but it's not impossible. We have a great relationship, we live together, and I believe you can have a good marriage if he's willing to find something that works for him and his moods can be stabilized. Marriage counseling could help, but I also suggest individual treatment/therapy for his illness. I hope you can work things out, but if they can't be, know that there's nothing YOU could have done. He needs to take control of this situation, and help himself first. Best of luck.
Please if anyone wants to talk I need some advise. I need help, I'm ready to give up on my bipolar husband. Aim at: netnetpanda102 or emial at [email]netnetpanda102@gmail.com[/email]
My wife is bipolar. DM (direct message) me here and I'd be glad to "talk."
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