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Old 03-16-2010, 06:21 PM
 
Location: Southern Illinois
10,364 posts, read 20,721,344 times
Reputation: 15642

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Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
lol why are you degrading yourself with this psycho-babble nonsense? Don't you know that people can use that diagnosis to incarcerate you or have you blacklisted from a career? If people at work find out. You will be the butt of every joke or the scapegoat.

You are a normal human being. Everything that you just listed except for suicide is something that can be solved with problem solving. Every one goes through that. You don't need a therapist or medication. Just deal with it like an adult. Problem solve. Start exercising and focusing on improving who you are. Watch more comedies. That will take your mind off ugly topics like suicide.
Artsy, normally I agree with you on a lot of things but this isn't one of them. Just because mental illnesses are something that can't be seen doesn't mean they don't exist. It's not just a matter of pulling yourself together and manning up--if it were possible to do so, believe me, most people would. It's just plain irritating to try to talk about these things and have naysayers come on here and tell you that what's bothering you doesn't really exist and that it's just imaginary. I suppose it's a step up from the bad old days when they locked mentally ill people into cages, but believe me, this isn't exactly helping either.

Not being cruel here, but why not stop being gay, since it's not exactly a piece-of-cake lifestyle either. I guess you're just lashing out at all the Christian fundies who believe that it's all in your head too, but we're not those people. At least when you're gay, there's some payoff--I'm sure the sex is out of this world. Anyway, no one likes being minimized.

LV--I don't think it's a woman disorder--I don't know the numbers, but I've always thought of it as a man disorder, lol. We women don't have all the fun stuff--we're willing to share it with you men.

 
Old 03-16-2010, 06:28 PM
 
25,157 posts, read 53,809,751 times
Reputation: 7058
I've seen equal amounts of men with this so called borderline personality. I've met so many that you know them instantly. They appear in a far away mood, stand off-ish, and sneering cold reptile like eyes. Sends a chill down your spine. Then after you get to know the person. You see them playing games like shunning you at meetings, avoid eye contact with you, pretending you are invisible, withholding information, playing dumb, speaking in a brusque manner, not empathizing, playing favorites, lying, etc. All these personality traits add up. You start to take it personally. Then you start getting worried. Then depressed. Then mad. Then your fuming. Then you are figuring out what you can do to resolve the problem. Then you can't resolve the problem. etc. It is so easy for these types of people to evoke depression and frustration.

The problem with labeling people. Is that anyone can and will use the diagnostic label as a weapon to harm and oppress. I've seen it done all the time.

This is one of the best videos out there:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-P6_FwpVo_s

Quote:
Originally Posted by stepka View Post

LV--I don't think it's a woman disorder--I don't know the numbers, but I've always thought of it as a man disorder, lol. We women don't have all the fun stuff--we're willing to share it with you men.
 
Old 03-16-2010, 06:31 PM
 
420 posts, read 802,101 times
Reputation: 444
Artsyguy-

As a psychiatrist, let me say this as politely as I can: you have no idea what you are taking about.
 
Old 03-16-2010, 06:33 PM
 
Location: Southern Illinois
10,364 posts, read 20,721,344 times
Reputation: 15642
Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
I've seen equal amounts of men with this so called borderline personality. I've met so many that you know them instantly. They appear in a far away mood, stand off-ish, and sneering cold reptile like eyes. Sends a chill down your spine. Then after you get to know the person. You see them playing games like shunning you at meetings, avoid eye contact with you, pretending you are invisible, withholding information, playing dumb, speaking in a brusque manner, etc. All these personality traits add up. You start to take it personally. Then you start getting worried. Then depressed. Then mad. Then your fuming. Then you are figuring out what you can do to resolve the problem. Then you can't resolve the problem. etc. It is so easy for these types of people to evoke depression and frustration.

The problem with labeling people. Is that anyone can and will use the diagnostic label as a weapon to harm and oppress. I've seen it done all the time.

This is one of the best videos out there:


YouTube - Psychiatry the fraud
Ok, now I understand where you're coming from. Yes, the labels can be used to oppress, but they can also help you understand the nature of your challenge. For me, it's AD/HD, and it has been enormously helpful to learn all about it and how to work with it. One good thing about recognizing the BPD signs is that you can stop taking it personally too. It has absolutely nothing to do with you. If I may ask, what line of work are you in that you meet these kind of people so often?
 
Old 03-16-2010, 06:35 PM
 
10,494 posts, read 27,126,779 times
Reputation: 6716
Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
lol why are you degrading yourself with this psycho-babble nonsense? Don't you know that people can use that diagnosis to incarcerate you or have you blacklisted from a career? If people at work find out. You will be the butt of every joke or the scapegoat.

You are a normal human being. Everything that you just listed except for suicide is something that can be solved with problem solving. Every one goes through that. You don't need a therapist or medication. Just deal with it like an adult. Problem solve. Start exercising and focusing on improving who you are. Watch more comedies. That will take your mind off ugly topics like suicide.
You do not understand. I can not even work a normal job or have any sort of career as I get fired pronto because I snap at any sort of authority over me. I disclosed this to my work when I got hired, and they told me they had something that would work. I have had my job now over 3 years, but the only reason is because I am by myself with no boss or supervision. I work security overnights completely alone at a building. I constantly struggle with day to day life when I am not at work.
 
Old 03-16-2010, 06:37 PM
 
10,494 posts, read 27,126,779 times
Reputation: 6716
Quote:
Originally Posted by stepka View Post
Artsy, normally I agree with you on a lot of things but this isn't one of them. Just because mental illnesses are something that can't be seen doesn't mean they don't exist. It's not just a matter of pulling yourself together and manning up--if it were possible to do so, believe me, most people would. It's just plain irritating to try to talk about these things and have naysayers come on here and tell you that what's bothering you doesn't really exist and that it's just imaginary. I suppose it's a step up from the bad old days when they locked mentally ill people into cages, but believe me, this isn't exactly helping either.

Not being cruel here, but why not stop being gay, since it's not exactly a piece-of-cake lifestyle either. I guess you're just lashing out at all the Christian fundies who believe that it's all in your head too, but we're not those people. At least when you're gay, there's some payoff--I'm sure the sex is out of this world. Anyway, no one likes being minimized.

LV--I don't think it's a woman disorder--I don't know the numbers, but I've always thought of it as a man disorder, lol. We women don't have all the fun stuff--we're willing to share it with you men.
Well said However, from my own research it does affect more women than men. Here is one link I can find.

Women And Borderline Personality Disorder
 
Old 03-16-2010, 06:42 PM
 
420 posts, read 802,101 times
Reputation: 444
Most (actually the overwhelming majority) of people with Borderline Personality Disorder have been victims of abuse in their formative years.

The best treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder is Dialectical behavior therapy:

Dialectical behavior therapy - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
 
Old 03-16-2010, 07:31 PM
 
1,963 posts, read 4,966,343 times
Reputation: 1456
Artsy Guy is totaly correct. It`s not a mental disorder. Unless you have experinced being around and have lived with people like this, you have no idea what you are talking about. Being a Psyc doesn`t make you have complete understanding about these type of people. I don`t empathize with a narcissist. They do a lot of damage to others. I don`t care about what their past was like.That doesn`t change who they are. They make a choice to behave like this and they have no quams about their behavior. To feel sorry for these type of people and say that they`ve had a rough past is excusing their behavior. Narcissits never change. This is a fact... I`ve been around them enough to know this. You can`t change somebodys concience, nobody is that powerful.

To the op: It`s been my experience that they only way you can get free from this is to have no contact with your mom. You`ll be amazed how peaceful your life can be.
 
Old 03-16-2010, 08:24 PM
 
Location: Hawaii
2,058 posts, read 3,294,737 times
Reputation: 1576
Sorry if this seems like I'm hi-jacking this thread about myself, I'm just personally interested in it. Feel free to ignore my posts if you want, haha.

instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity

that's like, the opposite of me:

instability of interpersonal relationships: I was in a ltr with my now husband, a stable relationship.

self image: um I was a teenager. I definitely had a fluctuating self image.

impulsivity: probably not, considering I didn't smoke, drink, do drugs, or have sex. I think those are the impulsive things most teens do.

1. frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.: no
2. a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation. Not sure what qualifies at this I guess me and my husband had an intense relationship and we were idealistic about it. And still are.
3. identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self. Already explained previously
4. impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). no
5. recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior yeah. Very embarrassing to admit and defiently a serious issue that i'm glad is now resolved, but just because it’s a serious issue that doesn’t mean its part of BPD or I automatically had BPD
6. affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days). Pms?
7. chronic feelings of emptiness no
8. inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights) yeah
9. transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms no
 
Old 03-16-2010, 08:45 PM
 
Location: Michaux State Forest
1,275 posts, read 3,402,792 times
Reputation: 1441
Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
I absolutely know what you are going through. However, I believe it isn't a disease or a disorder. Sorry. Human flaws or chronic rudeness isn't a disease or an illness. LOL. It is laughable to think so.
I'm sorry you find this "laughable", funny but I don't see it that way. No offense but just because you don't believe this is a real condition does not mean it isn't. A lot of ppl believe gays "choose" to be gay and they are not born gay, and some believe the earth is flat or 7 thousand yrs old, does this make it true? These two books, especially the one about parents w/ BPD, fit this woman to a T, she fits 99% of the criterea. I've finally found a reason for the hell I've been living for over thirty yrs. This is not a bad roomate with a bad personality. There's much more to a person with severe BPD besides a selfish or rude attitude. My mother ripped up my Christmas gifts one year because of a perceived insult, had my pet euthenized because "I didn't take care of it"(not true), and sabotaged me from going to the college I worked like a dog for yrs to get into a month before I was to leave for school because she saw me going out of state for school as a form of "abandonment". This is also the same person who mortgaged her paid off home so she could pay for medical treatment that I needed. She can be wonderful, generous, and funny and then turn into a monster. She used violence, extreme verbal abuse/mental torture, and extreme shame to control and manipulate me. I used to wish that she just beat me instead of the violence coupled with the mental abuse. Believe it or not, the mental abuse/name calling was worse. And, everyone thinks she's this super-parent. This condition could not be more real to me and I'm just grateful that I finally have an explination for her behavior.
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