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I think I may have just figured out why my childhood was a living hell, I think my mother has BPD. All my life, even today but especially as a child, I have had to walk on eggshells around my mother. I stumbled upon a book about BPD today and suddenly everything makes sense. She fits the profile perfectly. Please, have any of you had to deal with a relationship, parental, spousal, child, with someone who has BPD? What was it like? How did that person act? What did you do to overcome it or at least make peace with it? I would greatly appreciate any feedback on this topic as I am really struggling right now. Thank you and take care.
You have my condolences. That disorder makes it incredibly hard to have a mutually respectful relationship. I suspect my grandmom had it because the world had to revolve around her! That starved my Mom of a childhood. With my encouragement, she solved the problems in their relationship by gradully stepping way back. You can't make them act right. You can assert your needs and expectations but you will always have to enforce them through withdrawal. I haven't seen another method work for long.
I always end up working with one. My background is clinical psych and I freely admit that I do my best to run the other way when I encounter someone with BPD. I think it takes a team to really make any headway with someone with this diagnosis. For those unfamiliar with the disorder, think Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction.
I think I may have just figured out why my childhood was a living hell, I think my mother has BPD. All my life, even today but especially as a child, I have had to walk on eggshells around my mother. I stumbled upon a book about BPD today and suddenly everything makes sense. She fits the profile perfectly. Please, have any of you had to deal with a relationship, parental, spousal, child, with someone who has BPD? What was it like? How did that person act? What did you do to overcome it or at least make peace with it? I would greatly appreciate any feedback on this topic as I am really struggling right now. Thank you and take care.
Since those people are able to semi-function, and are very untreatable because of that, and it's fairly common, I think most people end up having to deal with them at times.
I try to stay far away from them. They're such liars that they're impossible to ever deal with in a straight honest way. They'll lie when there's no reason at all to lie and they'll tell lies that are obvious but think everyone is too stupid to see through them. They remind me of reptiles. Even their emotions are frauds.
I think the only way you could deal with a parent like this is to just accept it's something they cannot and never will change. I guess you just have to accept them - and know they'll continue lying to your face, and that they never really care about anyone.
I've said it many times. Petulance, no ethics, and lying isn't a disease or a disorder. The person simply doesn't have ethics or sensitivity to your needs. It isn't a disease or a mental illness like everyone calls it.
And a lot of these BPD type people are found in the education system. These women can get away with almost anything. If you slip up and say one ugly thing about catty women. Mountains will be made out of that molehill. And all hell will break loose.
I've had to deal with many people like this in the education field. Also at work. These reptiles seem to congregate in the same areas of work. It is a scary feeling knowing none of them empathize or care for you. In fact they often see you as their enemy to compete with and ruin. As a group they have no fear in making you the scapegoat. By the time you are pointing your finger in retaliation. They have made you the butt of all jokes and all of the company problems. This isn't a disease or a mental illness IMHO. Only a lack of ethics and conscience. Often fueled by our duplicitous social values. For example Christianity often preaches to love our neighbor. But when someone is gay. Then that is permission to hate and to be abusive. You can blame society partly for these ruinous personalities.
Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute
Since those people are able to semi-function, and are very untreatable because of that, and it's fairly common, I think most people end up having to deal with them at times.
I try to stay far away from them. They're such liars that they're impossible to ever deal with in a straight honest way. They'll lie when there's no reason at all to lie and they'll tell lies that are obvious but think everyone is too stupid to see through them. They remind me of reptiles. Even their emotions are frauds.
I think the only way you could deal with a parent like this is to just accept it's something they cannot and never will change. I guess you just have to accept them - and know they'll continue lying to your face, and that they never really care about anyone.
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