[aquadejoe]

In your experience, is it better/easier to move your family (with young children) to a larger city like Grand Rapids or a smaller town like Traverse City when you know no one in either place? Is it easier to find friends and support in a larger more anonymous place like GR or in and around Traverse area? We finally have a date set as a goal of when to move our family and we like and are considering both GR and Traverse City. While TC is more our ideal location it is 5 hours from our family while GR is only 2.5 hours away. A big reason we are moving is to get some distance from our families but with kids it is tough to be in a place where you know no one. Just wondering how easy or difficult your experiences have been with moving away from family and if you have found either place to be friendlier than the other in general? Is it better to be farther away but in a location that is a better fit versus a locale that is fine but closer to your support system?

[YAZ]

So.......

You're moving to get away from your family but still want to be close enough to them so they can be of some support to you?

Sounds like In-law syndrome.

Be close enough to where they can spend the day with you (go home after dinner), but far away enough to where they can't just stop by on a whim?

Live where you want to live.

[jeeg]

I don't think you can judge by the above factors. So much depends on you and your family's personality (whether you are outgoing, at ease in new situations, look forward to adventure and new experiences, etc. etc.). So much depends on the particular neighborhood, sometimes even the particular block within the neighborhood. It also depends in part on what you and your family enjoy doing recreationally and whether the area provides opportunities for said recreation.
Having said all of that, both locations provide plenty of opportunities for people to meet other people. The rest is up to you

I've lived in dozens of cities across the U.S. and we just completed out latest move this weekend with three children ages 6yrs and under.
We originally moved 8hrs away from our families to provide some buffer zone. Two additionall kids later my wife really wanted to try living closer to family again for the childrens sake. We didn't even last a year. In our case it's true, you can never go back "home" again.
So we moved back to where we as a family unit were happiest. This is our home now and it's so good to be back home!

[aquadejoe]

Thanks for the input. I do get your points about home being a state of mind and agree with you on that exactly. For various reasons and for particular family members, we are trying to get some distance so as not to deal with the drug/alcohol/violence issues we had to deal with as children from certain family members but we do have some people who we would like to stay in contact with and be able to see a few times a year at least. That being said, I was just wondering what people's experiences were in those cities in particular as far as meeting people and connecting with other families. But as one poster said, maybe it is more about the family you make for yourself and that is really all there is to it.

[electric_lady]

You have to decide which is a better place for you and your family personally. 2.5 hours and 5 hours really aren't that far away from home, and neither is that big of a difference. Go to where you can have better jobs or jobs with good schedules to afford to have time to take off together as a family. Gotta do what's right for you, your spouse and kids. Your other family has their own lives to worry about.

[jeeg]

We live 8hrs from both of our extended families. We will go down to see them (taking an extended weekend) 4 - 5 times a year. Each side (our parents) will come up to see us 3 - 4 times a year.

As for the two specific locations, I can't say from an outsiders viewpoint because I have extended family and friends in both locations and always have.

I would personally take TC over GR any day but that's because I am a nature lover and dislike big cities.
Good luck with whichever you choose!

[Coldjensens]

No matter where you are, you are going to meet people through your kids (unless you are just unfriendly).

[aquadejoe]

very true. We absolutely are nature lovers and would like that to be a big part of our lives. And for our kids as well. I think you hit it on the head when you said having jobs that allow flexibility is the key if you are not going to live around family.

[Luzette]

Well I personally like Traverse over GR. It's big enough now to offer opportunities for meeting people, and you've got Lake Michigan literally right on the doorstep of downtown. Kids should have tons of things to be involved in there.

[teachbeach]

I think either one would be fine~you'll make the visits work if necessary. More important is to find a good fit for your family; housing, recreation, jobs that are secure, and activities that are inexpensive or free. Both have access to nature, gardens, excellent schools, the big box stores, airports and hospitals. Traverse City booms in the summer because of the tourism, so traffic can be a little bit of a nuisance as people "head north" along the lake shore route. Grand Rapids is a very large area, with may outlying suburbs that at times allow you to be part of the larger area but have a community sense of their own. Keep refreshing this thread and you'll get some responses. I lived in Grand Rapids as a youngster and started school there~we were in a neighborhood where we could walk to school, ride our bikes to a public pool, walk to convenience stores and play in the streets until 10PM at night. I would think that the housing selection in/around GR would be greater with more options.