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Old 12-05-2011, 06:48 AM
 
41 posts, read 44,387 times
Reputation: 36

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I have a brother in the Wolverine area, he has lived there for some 20 years. He has been trying to sell his home and now has what seems to be a good offer. Now the rub, his ability to think things through are not his strong point. He was thinking of moving to a state where he could make a living easier and his wife is mixed up a bit and like a cat will desire what ever is placed in front of her at that moment.

She wants to stick her toes into sand and watch the ocean when its snowing, and since he does not want to leave Michigan even though he is having a hard time keeping work as a plumbing and heating person, has suggested that they buy 8 acres in or near Elsworth and build a home. I tried to point out that if you are moving to or near Gaylord from Wolverine you should stay where you are. He has an offer on his home that would bring in some 80,000 in his pocket, not exactly enough to build a home and leave enough to live on. I pointed out that he would have to rent while he built, and if he did the work him self and hired help only when needed its a 6 month project and if he did find work and he is working on week ends, its a 12 month project, its a 3 month project if he hires most of the work except for some of the mechanical that he can do. Now he wants to move a trailer on the property and live in it while building. My argument is that when its all said and done he had went through hell building a new home and he has made no leap in any direction. I know my sister in-law and she has this obsession with some kind of mini farm crap.

You know the type the land will give us all we need and we can have goats and cows and chickens. I lived this as a kid and so did my brother and it was total BS. If you are retired and this is your thing thats fine, but when you have a child to raise and no job and a wife that thinks its her job to run off to Mexico for a vacation every time one of her party friends calls, its nothing but a money drain that will never return anything and be a total time suck and money suck.

My advice was to stay where he is and end the contract. He has a very nice home and I thought he wanted to sell because his wife was sick of the cold and hated snow, and he wanted to go where he maybe could find work year round and the economy was a bit better. I do not know if I am seeing it from a point of view that is skewed or if I am spot on, of coarse I think I am spot on but don't we all?

I just wanted to hear what you all who live in the area and know it think. So far the people we know in the building trades think he is nuts as its going to cost some 56 to 60 thousand dollars just in building materials. Plus when he built his first home we had a lot of relatives who were able to come lend a hand for a six pack and bond fire at the end of the day and many of them have family's they are trying to find work to support or have moved away to find work.

I just don't see the logic in moving to Elsworth or Johannesburg and live on a few acres where he lives on about three now. I talked until I think I ticked him off but I can't not say something when a sibling is jumping off a cliff thinking they can fly. My Husband thinks I should just let them crash and hopefully learn a lesson.

Thanks for any thoughts.
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Old 12-05-2011, 07:06 AM
 
Location: West Michigan
3,119 posts, read 6,583,673 times
Reputation: 4543
My first impression is that it makes zero sense to build a house right now. There are sooo many homes on the market at low prices. Seems like building a home is just flushing your money down the toilet. That's just my two cents.
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Old 12-05-2011, 07:17 AM
 
41 posts, read 44,387 times
Reputation: 36
My idea is that what does moving 17 miles from 3 acres to 8 acres get you that you can't do from your existing home? He is not planing on building his dream home just another 3/2 home almost the same as he has. With no job and he does not even know if he will get his unemployment because he quit his last job its a WTF are you thinking moment. He has not built a home for 16 years and I think he has forgotten how much work it is.

I think my concern has taken me to a point I may have ticked off my brother and sister in law, but I just had to say that I thought this was crazy. No work, no prospects of work and when I reminded him that he has lost his chance to write his journeymen license for plumbing because he waited too long after enrolling as a apprentice, he said that he could go do a college course and do a so called fast track to write his license, I am not sure this is more fantasy. Family can sure drive you crazy.
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Old 12-05-2011, 09:46 AM
 
Location: On the brink of WWIII
21,088 posts, read 29,139,624 times
Reputation: 7812
Sounds just a wee bit out of sync with reality? UNless he can get another place for a lot less than he sold his for?
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Old 12-05-2011, 10:22 AM
 
Location: North of Canada, but not the Arctic
21,076 posts, read 19,579,298 times
Reputation: 25565
I think your brother should take your advice and you should take your husband's advice.
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Old 12-05-2011, 05:05 PM
 
Location: At the end of the road, where the trail begins.
760 posts, read 2,436,130 times
Reputation: 353
I think you should wish them the best and be supportive no matter what their decision.
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Old 12-06-2011, 07:05 AM
 
41 posts, read 44,387 times
Reputation: 36
I think that just wishing people well when they are making an obvious mistake is to aid a person is the mistake. Its not a matter of not wanting the best, its the idea that he is not thinking that he lives nest to his father that he uses the plow truck, tools and more at the drop of a hat. He has absolutely no money to his name and 80,000 is not enough to build a home buy 8 acres and live for 6 months. And if it is, he now has no plow truck and that is 5 grand at min for some used POS truck, Tools, ect.

Most of the people who worked for him because it was a cousin who was building a home and he could barter plumbing to get concrete or block or rough in work done are gone. These people have family's or are gone and will want money to work if they are around. When its all said and done he is he has to find a place to live/rent or as his brain has come up with set up a trailer on the property as he works on the house. That alone is 4 grand for a cheap POS mobile, and a well, that can be used for the home granted, electric and a septic, skirting just to get in and this all before he has a nickle from the closing which the new owners will not give him 2 months to get this all done while they are not able to move into the house they just bought.

Now add in that he has a quad runner and some tools and things that need at least a 12x12 garage to store, he now has 50 a month for storage or now add in a storage shed that needs to be built. I have done things like this myself but with some money backing me up so that I could get things up and running before I sold. Its a lot like people who know nothing about war talking coffee shop talk about how easy it will be. Its never easy and to underestimate the problems is one of the easiest things in the world to do, especially when you have two people who could not think their way out of a wet paper bag.
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Old 12-07-2011, 01:13 PM
 
Location: North of Canada, but not the Arctic
21,076 posts, read 19,579,298 times
Reputation: 25565
You've given your brother your advice. Now sit back and see what happens. If he fails, you can say "I told you so" and maybe he'll start listening to you. If he succeeds, oh well, won't you look dumb.

You really need to let go. I have four siblings and I would freely give my opinion if asked (although I'm usually not, as it is none of my business), but they will ultimately have to use their own judgment and face the consequences.

It's nice of you to be concerned, but just because you came out of the same womb does not entitle you to a lifetime of control.
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Old 12-07-2011, 02:11 PM
 
Location: Bliss,michigan
147 posts, read 225,545 times
Reputation: 86
it doesn't make much sense to me , but they are adults ( so called) it's their mistake to make. with the economy the way it is right now it is a mistake. there are no jobs up this way.
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Old 12-08-2011, 06:56 AM
 
41 posts, read 44,387 times
Reputation: 36
Sinful, I agree, just wanted to make sure I had not lost touch with the reality of North Michigan. Its beautiful but work is hard to come by. I am not trying to control by sibling, but his last job at dish he quit because his wife ran off to Mexico for 10 days with a girl friend and left him with his 4 yo son to watch and work 60 hours a week, when he called to ask her for help in who to call to watch him she told him that he ruined the first 3 days of her vacation by bothering her with this stuff. He ended up quitting a job that he made 2700 every two weeks. Now he says that he did not make any money and it cost him to go to work. [this is the type of mental capacity I am dealing with] He swings wildly from I can find work anywhere to North Michigan is dead and I have to go some where else, then flips to Detroit is doing good and I can find work, to Detroit is a hell hole and I would not live there for anything. I think he is a bit bipolar. His last job before this one in another state his boss asked him if he is on drugs. I am not making this up, I really think he has mental problems, and has a hard time figuring out reality. I told him its his choice and that I was just giving him my opinion, that if he did not sell and go to a state where he could find work, to stay put before selling a home that once was worth 130k for 89k. Things are bad every where but to move toward Elmira to gain a few acres when he is on one acre and surrounded by two other acres owned by his dad that he will never sell. He gets all the benefits of the land and does not even have to pay the taxes. He uses his dads plow truck and tools any time he wants. Now its all on him and he has to find a place to rent/setup to live in for six to twelve months while he builds? This is just Crazy to me, but he has had this fantasy of having a mini farm. I/we lived this growing up and it was hell. It cost our dad money to do it, our dad was a nut about numbers and every time he did the math, from the chicken to the tomato's cost us more than buying at the store. Our dad would always come back with but it tastes better. LOL In this economy its not just an exercise in futility but a possible move that may do harm to his financial stability. He spent his early years playing cards and drinking and now has next to nothing for a retirement. At 40 in a good economy its not impossible to build one but it gets harder every year you wait.
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