[cranberries]

My 40 year old brother asked if he could move in with Myself, my daughter, and my mother along with his 24 year old girlfriend on their 1 week old baby. He helped pay some passed bills and he said he would be able to help out since he would be saving $800 by moving in with us. I have a small house 3 bedroom rooms already occupied. One Tiny bathroom. Tiny kitchen and tiny living room. He had previously been leaving in a motel for nearly two years. His plan was to renovate the basement and add dividers for a room. I had already bought a lot of stuff to fix the basement when I bought the house 1 year ago. There is also plumbing for a half bathroom. He claims this is only temp. knowing that I am stressed that is was already too small for three people. Before he moved in he acted like it was temp. but now he acts like it is permanent. He is not finished the basement they have taken over the living room all day and all night. They never turn the TV off. Clothing all over everything. When something is said his girlfriends gets a attitude. If I ask about needing something towards electric or gas he says he don't have it. Neither are working a steady job. What grown people want to live off other people I feel like I was tricked. They planned to have a baby fertility drugs and everything, don't have a job was already living at a motel and his girlfriend lost custody of her first child that is now 4 years old. How am I ever going to get rid of them. I even told him i would give him $5000 and he had his nerves and said that is not enough to get him a house. So therefore it seems he do not plan to leave unless he has the money to buy a house $30,000.00 or more. Neither works so how would he ever have any money to buy a house. He says if I gave him $5000 how would he pay his rent and bills Mmmmm how did he pay $800 a month to stay at a motel. Oh yeah his girlfriend is biopolar,Schizophrenia. So she has attitudes along with mood swings. He is my brother this stress will kill me. And whenever I say anything he says I am being mean and I dont love him and then he cries and rants maybe something is wrong with him too. What have I done by allowing him to move in. Will I have to sell my house to get rid of them. My mother is going thru chemo and this too is stressing her out my daughter just wants them to be quieter at night.

[MikeBear]

Check into your areas landlord laws, and file an legal eviction notice on him.

Once you get it approved by the judge, you can have the sheriff throw him out. It doesn't matter if he's your brother, he's a leach, and a legal eviction is the only way to go since he was invited into your house in the first place.

[magellan]

Originally Posted by cranberries

My 40 year old brother asked if he could move in with Myself, my daughter, and my mother along with his 24 year old girlfriend on their 1 week old baby. He helped pay some passed bills and he said he would be able to help out since he would be saving $800 by moving in with us. I have a small house 3 bedroom rooms already occupied. One Tiny bathroom. Tiny kitchen and tiny living room. He had previously been leaving in a motel for nearly two years. His plan was to renovate the basement and add dividers for a room. I had already bought a lot of stuff to fix the basement when I bought the house 1 year ago. There is also plumbing for a half bathroom. He claims this is only temp. knowing that I am stressed that is was already too small for three people. Before he moved in he acted like it was temp. but now he acts like it is permanent. He is not finished the basement they have taken over the living room all day and all night. They never turn the TV off. Clothing all over everything. When something is said his girlfriends gets a attitude. If I ask about needing something towards electric or gas he says he don't have it. Neither are working a steady job. What grown people want to live off other people I feel like I was tricked. They planned to have a baby fertility drugs and everything, don't have a job was already living at a motel and his girlfriend lost custody of her first child that is now 4 years old. How am I ever going to get rid of them. I even told him i would give him $5000 and he had his nerves and said that is not enough to get him a house. So therefore it seems he do not plan to leave unless he has the money to buy a house $30,000.00 or more. Neither works so how would he ever have any money to buy a house. He says if I gave him $5000 how would he pay his rent and bills Mmmmm how did he pay $800 a month to stay at a motel. Oh yeah his girlfriend is biopolar,Schizophrenia. So she has attitudes along with mood swings. He is my brother this stress will kill me. And whenever I say anything he says I am being mean and I dont love him and then he cries and rants maybe something is wrong with him too. What have I done by allowing him to move in. Will I have to sell my house to get rid of them. My mother is going thru chemo and this too is stressing her out my daughter just wants them to be quieter at night.

Well let's look at it from his point of view: he's 40 years old, has been living in a motel for the last 2 years, has a 24 year old girlfriend who he got pregnant (who lost custody of her other 4 year old, wonder why that is?), he doesn't have a job, he gets to live in your house and not pay any bills, rent or a mortgage, gets to watch TV all day and night. I assume he doesn't cook or clean? I assume they're either drinking and/or doing drugs, because anyone who is sober and drug-free would go crazy in that housing situation. And with what money are they buying booze and/or drugs? And you're willing to give him another $5000 on top of free rent and free utilities?

Why would he want to leave now? You've set up the perfect housing situation. Follow MikeBear's advice, the only way you're getting him out now is through the force of law. Don't let this criminal and parasite live in your house for any longer than is required before eviction.

[belleislerunner]

Easiest way to get rid of him?

1)Throw out your TV and cancel cable. You can go 2-3 months without it for sanity's sake.

2) Keep your heat at 50 degrees when you are not there. Lock the thermostat so it can't be adjusted.

No one will freeze but chances are those two steps will drive the GF crazy enough to just leave.

You are encouraging their behavior by not doing anything to address it. You don't need the law involved.

[Retroit]

Tell them that starting next month you are charging rent. Go to a several fast food places and retail stores and get a bunch of job applications for him and her to fill out. One can work during the day and the other at night. They have to stay in the basement unless they are specifically invited upstairs or to take a shower. He has to help you finish the half-bath downstairs. Make sure that there is no TV or cable hook-up downstairs. Do not offer him any money to move out; it is up to him to decide whether he wants to pay your rent (which will increase over time) or whether he wants to move out on his own. When he does move out, he should help contribute to the care of your mother. Don't deal directly with the girlfriend; tell your brother what is expected of them and let him tell her.

[CraigCreek]

This would get more responses in the non-romantic relationships forum, but the advise given thus far is solid.

I feel very sorry for the child of two such incompetent parents...and wonder if child welfare services are aware of the baby, given that the mother lost custody of her first child. In view of her mental issues, lack of income, and the father's cluelessness, plus the less than ideal living conditions, I wonder if a call to them might not be indicated? It might be enough to move the father off his rear end, at least, in order to keep custody of the baby.

[froglipz]

Send notice in mail to inform him that he is no longer to live in the home after whatever date. Change the locks.

[Harpaint]

They will never leave on their own. It is up to you to get rid of them as others have already stated. Do it ASAP in any way necessary.

[keraT]

I like the idea of getting rid of TV or at least cut off cable. Talk to your mother and daughter & make sure they are on board. 2nd tell them to keep their junk in the basement & not take over your living room while they are living. 3rd give him a deadline of when he needs to get out of the house. 4th don't keep too much food around the house. Let him pay for that

[Geo-Aggie]

My tip: Be direct and don't be passive-aggressive.

Tell him, "Hey dude, you're not pulling your weight and I am unwilling to enable you to leech off me. You need to be out in 15 days. I don't care how you do it and or whether or not you have the means to afford a place of your own, but in 15 days you are out. If you don't leave willingly I will have the police forcefully evict you." And then you chance the locks. Maybe even install a security camera, if you feel it's necessary.

He'll cry, moan, and just be a generally terrible person over it, but it's your house and you can do that. In fact I would say it is your obligation to do that. Don't give any ground, at all. If you say 15 days and he stretches it to 20, then why not 25? Why not 50? Why not 3 years?