[JGatti]

I appreciate all the advice and this is a response to the last three. A move would not be so much about his troubles. It would be more about the riff and non support that continues with my wife's family. He did something stupid, typical teenager stuff. Same thing many 15 years have done. He's a good kid, who did something stupid. Had I been working it would not have happened.

Peter B- I have always felt I have enough skills and a proven track record that I would never be without work. Guess I was wrong.

I think my brothers would be a positive influence on my oldest ( who is 15). He had a ball with them on our visit last year. Both my parents have passed and my sisters are not involved so much with my kids. My wife's family thinks they are, but a once a year get together don't cut it. Their grandparents are never around and anytime we have needed help in any way it's a mess. The move to me would be more about stopping the pain I know my wife and kid's feel from her family. They are ignorant to their actions, nobody see's just how lopsided their family is. It's really a shame because we were all so close at one time and they let that go. Hell they never even made an effort to celebrate Christmas last year. It's just weird and frustrating, I could care less about em at this point. My priority is my family and as much as Arizona is not that appealing to me. I'd go.

[Peter B]

WOW! Your in-law situation is SO similar to mine. My wife's father basically disowned her when we moved from Long Island to Michigan. 5 years and he has never visited us My wife's mother passed away 12 years ago and her Dad (even though he remarried) remains an emotional cripple who basically cannot function outside of his own zipcode.

On the employment note, when I moved up here 5 years ago, I too thought my experience & skills would take care of me but, as I've painfully learned, I had to reinvent myself at 47 yrs of age

Originally Posted by JGatti

I appreciate all the advice and this is a response to the last three. A move would not be so much about his troubles. It would be more about the riff and non support that continues with my wife's family. He did something stupid, typical teenager stuff. Same thing many 15 years have done. He's a good kid, who did something stupid. Had I been working it would not have happened.

Peter B- I have always felt I have enough skills and a proven track record that I would never be without work. Guess I was wrong.

I think my brothers would be a positive influence on my oldest ( who is 15). He had a ball with them on our visit last year. Both my parents have passed and my sisters are not involved so much with my kids. My wife's family thinks they are, but a once a year get together don't cut it. Their grandparents are never around and anytime we have needed help in any way it's a mess. The move to me would be more about stopping the pain I know my wife and kid's feel from her family. They are ignorant to their actions, nobody see's just how lopsided their family is. It's really a shame because we were all so close at one time and they let that go. Hell they never even made an effort to celebrate Christmas last year. It's just weird and frustrating, I could care less about em at this point. My priority is my family and as much as Arizona is not that appealing to me. I'd go.

[markgyver]

JGatti, We moved out to montana in early 2004, one reason was my wifes mother and husbands interferance in our raising of our daughter,(my stepdaughter)anyway after being out there for 4.5 years we moved back.We came back because mother in laws health problems,which turned out not be so serious and grand kids that were born after we left. We made a mistake coming back. I have never had trouble finding work in michigan before but now I cant find work. Im a millwright and a lot of industry is gone.I couldnt believe how many businesses have folded up. Im afraid This post doesnt help you much but I feel your pain and i hope all works out.BTW I see your in highland, I grew up in white lake township. I think we'll be moving west again at some point.

[JGatti]

Originally Posted by markgyver

JGatti, We moved out to montana in early 2004, one reason was my wifes mother and husbands interferance in our raising of our daughter,(my stepdaughter)anyway after being out there for 4.5 years we moved back.We came back because mother in laws health problems,which turned out not be so serious and grand kids that were born after we left. We made a mistake coming back. I have never had trouble finding work in michigan before but now I cant find work. Im a millwright and a lot of industry is gone.I couldnt believe how many businesses have folded up. Im afraid This post doesnt help you much but I feel your pain and i hope all works out.BTW I see your in highland, I grew up in white lake township. I think we'll be moving west again at some point.

I feel for you and I know how you feel not being able to find work. In all my life I have NEVER been turned down for a job I had an interview for. Now I can't even get an interview. I've also interviewed at every job I have applied for. Not anymore.
My wife and I have been talking trying to figure out our best route. A fresh start sounds good, but leaving her job of 8 years and both of us starting over scares her. With the opportunity I have here with the no worker left behind program it may be stupid to go right now. My father in law ( who I think is the best in the family) was just here and him and me talked about the situation. He made some valid points that I agree with and that spurred a good long talk with my wife after he left. Moving for a job might be a little too impatient and maybe a mistake right now. Well no maybe I think it would be stupid, but to stay here in this situation is kind of stupid as well. I have a lot to think about. Thanks to everyone who replied.

[marshfield mom]

I can tell you from my experience that it might help to begin with but overall if he is looking for someone to get in trouble with moving will not help.It is simply a matter of maturing .Hopefully that will happen before he gets in too much trouble.

[Ummagumma]

JGatti,

I am very sorry to hear about your son's troubles. I'm afraid moving isn't going to change them, he needs to change. Moving would only add to the stress. How much are you going to lose on "fire selling" your house. Perhaps you could somehow get this equity out and send him to a private school, or even a bootcamp. I'd try to isolate him from the friends that have bad influence on him, not isolate him from anything he knows by moving to a wholly different place, he may be forced to seek even a worse company there just out of sheer stress. I haven't been to AZ but I did spend some time in TX and Nevada and I wouldn't ever want to live there.

[JGatti]

Originally Posted by Ummagumma

JGatti,

I am very sorry to hear about your son's troubles. I'm afraid moving isn't going to change them, he needs to change. Moving would only add to the stress. How much are you going to lose on "fire selling" your house. Perhaps you could somehow get this equity out and send him to a private school, or even a bootcamp. I'd try to isolate him from the friends that have bad influence on him, not isolate him from anything he knows by moving to a wholly different place, he may be forced to seek even a worse company there just out of sheer stress. I haven't been to AZ but I did spend some time in TX and Nevada and I wouldn't ever want to live there.

I appreciate your thoughts. My oldest son and my wife hate winter and would welcome the move. I know it's him that brought on the trouble. A certain friend he hung around with did not help the situation but I put an end to that more than I can explain. We lowered our house $15k and if we get it sold will still walk away with plenty. Not enough to make our next move as easy as we wanted but enough to make life easier no matter what we decide. I know what kind of town I'd love to live in but I'm not sure the exist anymore. Thanks again.