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Old 02-07-2011, 09:12 AM
 
4,317 posts, read 5,755,367 times
Reputation: 2452

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Quote:
Originally Posted by DDADAM View Post
Like I said she already divorced me without me knowing it. I had my child on Deers but she didn't know it, so they went out and got her own insurance. Now she doesn't want to give that insurance up and wants me to pay for it.............
Either way Tricare would be secondary to the main insurance. If you want her to give it up so you can provide it for her.....hire a lawyer and prove in the courts that your child is insured. Heck, even go to the ID facility, get her an DD1172 with a print out of the RAPIDS site locator to show where she can get the ID made for your child. Right there is her proof of insurance.
In reality since your divorced, your child should have one anyway. Its in the DoDI/AFI section 4.4.

Also FYI- Dont go to JAG for a lawyer for family issues. 1) they gave me bad advice multiple times and 2) they do not handle family issues like this. A quote from a lawyer who use to be military: The laws reguarding divorces and child custody are changing daily and JAG cant keep up with them.
(Disclaimer- This is not directed toward anyone who does work with JAG some of the JAG lawyers are better than others but this is what even JAG has told me)

Last edited by ladybug07; 02-07-2011 at 09:21 AM..
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Old 02-14-2011, 12:32 AM
 
Location: DuPont, WA
541 posts, read 2,132,185 times
Reputation: 643
I will leave out my personal opinions on the OP, but, my husband works in Finance and NO, you are NOT entitled to full BAH if you share custody. You can only get full BAH if the child live with you more than 50% of the time. If not, you will get BAH Differential (the difference between the BAH W/dependents rate and BAH w/out rate for your rank) which is not very much at all.
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Old 02-14-2011, 03:57 AM
 
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
10,757 posts, read 35,324,340 times
Reputation: 6958
Quote:
Originally Posted by DDADAM View Post
Look she came up pregnant in senior year. I did not have time or money for a baby. I had a scholarship to College and that’s what my Mom wanted me to do. I did not want to give that up and I am sure none you would either, she had lots of scholarships but no she decided to have a baby.

I was trying to better myself so I could help support my child. I just got caught up in the party of college and lost my scholarship and then I had to take out a lot of student loans.

Now my mom and I are over 28,000 in debt on student loans all in a two period. The military would not pay them off for me since they were private loans. Now my mom and I have to pay those off.

It was really hard on me not to get caught up in the partying so finally they kicked me out for poor grades and that’s when I showed up in Florida and talked her into marrying me. I only have permanent us residency so I thought if she married me I could get my US Citizenship and take care of my child when I got to E5 and again her family has more money than mine.

So you guys need to let up I am doing the best I can. Does only one know if I do get shared parenting would I get BAH or do I have to have lots of visitation to get it. If I don’t get the BAH I am not going to be able to pay my Mom back, pay my car note and my other student loans.
She didn't get pregnant by herself. If you were headed in a different direction why didn't you keep it in your pants or at least use birth control. I have no sorrow for you, each post you make, shows you deserve NONE. Its unfortunate your Mother raised such a person as yourself. I hope your children don't have to know you.
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Old 02-20-2011, 10:54 PM
 
7 posts, read 30,691 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by ladybug07 View Post
Either way Tricare would be secondary to the main insurance. If you want her to give it up so you can provide it for her.....hire a lawyer and prove in the courts that your child is insured. Heck, even go to the ID facility, get her an DD1172 with a print out of the RAPIDS site locator to show where she can get the ID made for your child. Right there is her proof of insurance.
In reality since your divorced, your child should have one anyway. Its in the DoDI/AFI section 4.4.

Also FYI- Dont go to JAG for a lawyer for family issues. 1) they gave me bad advice multiple times and 2) they do not handle family issues like this. A quote from a lawyer who use to be military: The laws reguarding divorces and child custody are changing daily and JAG cant keep up with them.
(Disclaimer- This is not directed toward anyone who does work with JAG some of the JAG lawyers are better than others but this is what even JAG has told me)
Great Advice I did it, now she has to cancel her insurance, I also sent her an a email telling that I also have to carry our daughter as my dependant to get the insurance she will never know the differance. I will make a couple thousand on my taxes for that move. I know tricare is not as good as what my daughter has now but if I did not change it the judge might make me pay for it. Thanks for your advice. My daughter does not need 90% of the doctors nationwide besides my ex can drive her to the base if need be.
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Old 02-21-2011, 10:55 AM
 
Location: El Paso, TX
3,503 posts, read 4,530,731 times
Reputation: 3020
Quote:
Originally Posted by DDADAM View Post
Man I am just looking for the answer that bi*ches parent have money and they have been support her! she doesn't need my money I also have alot of student loans. She does not!
Who made the baby? You or her parents? YOU!!!! It is your responsiblity.

I spent 32 years in the Army and dealt with so many cases like yours. After a while I felt no sympathy for the likes of yours.

I really do hope she gets a very good lawyer so you feel the consequences of your action until that child is 18. That child actually does not need to have a parent like you around. You would not be a great example.

Your ex may not be without fault but I will tell you this. SHE is the one raising the child, not you. You are here talking about college and your selfish goals and needs.

I do have a suggestion. Get a vasectomy so no other children end up in this world with a selfish father like you . Also, many of the children with fathers like you end up being supported by guess who? I and thousands of taxpers providing for welfare support. Is that fair? Maybe I should not ask because to you it may be fair that others pay for your actions.

So I suggest you grow up and start acting like a man, not a child crying now that the tough gets going. Stand up and do you your job as a father and as a man, take care.
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Old 02-21-2011, 06:26 PM
 
Location: Hawaii/Alabama
2,265 posts, read 4,094,737 times
Reputation: 6597
It is impossible to force a person to have character and kindness. What a shame.
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Old 02-22-2011, 09:05 AM
 
Location: El Paso, TX
3,503 posts, read 4,530,731 times
Reputation: 3020
Quote:
Originally Posted by melaniej65 View Post
It is impossible to force a person to have character and kindness. What a shame.
Agreed. The scary part is that it is becoming so commonplace, take care.
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Old 02-22-2011, 02:40 PM
 
Location: Between Philadelphia and Allentown, PA
5,077 posts, read 14,600,896 times
Reputation: 3783
Quote:
Originally Posted by DDADAM View Post
Man I am just looking for the answer that bi*ches parent have money and they have been support her! she doesn't need my money I also have alot of student loans. She does not!
No offense but... you say the married life wasn't for you and that's all well and good but you did produce a child and you have been proven to be the father. It's not YOUR decision that your ex gets money or not. It's up to the court. You are paying child support to help care for, and feed the child that YOU helped make.... so man up and deal with it.

I'm so sick of men somehow blaming society, women or their own shortcomings when it comes to taking care of their responsibilities. Thank GOD my ex husband didn't have the same poor attitude as you do when we divorced.

So what if you have student loans? Really? So, you should take food out of your childs mouth... ok and so what if her parents have money? So it's their responsibility to care for your child? They are awfully nice to step in and help where you can't and clearly aren't. Maybe you need to thank them and stop dumping your responsibilties on everyone else and blaming everyone for your poor choices in life. I hope that the courts give your ex everything she needs to help care for your child. and.. the above poster is right. You sound like a wonderful person... not.
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Old 02-22-2011, 02:57 PM
 
Location: Hawaii/Alabama
2,265 posts, read 4,094,737 times
Reputation: 6597
Quote:
Originally Posted by elamigo View Post
Agreed. The scary part is that it is becoming so commonplace, take care.
I just do not understand what has happened to so many young people (certainly not all young people!).

Such entitlement, selfishness and self-absorption is so ugly and so sad at the same time. Meanwhile, there is a fatherless child who deserves so much more than a sper* donor.
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Old 02-22-2011, 04:22 PM
 
Location: El Paso, TX
3,503 posts, read 4,530,731 times
Reputation: 3020
Quote:
Originally Posted by melaniej65 View Post
I just do not understand what has happened to so many young people (certainly not all young people!).

Such entitlement, selfishness and self-absorption is so ugly and so sad at the same time. Meanwhile, there is a fatherless child who deserves so much more than a sper* donor.
I do agree. A good book to read that may give some good insight as how we changed so much that our youth today are so narcissistic and self centered is entitled "The Death of the Grown Up". It is very good. Even though it is not a college book and it is not so big it is in some ways written as if it is a college book. It cites so many sources to back up her claims, take care.
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