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We had a burned out stoner on my first ship. We made him cry by convincing him Iron Maiden and Metalica died in a plane crash (this was 1992). He was on lower level watch on night when he went missing on watch. We searched high and low for him. We were almost ready to call man overboard when I saw his head peek out from behind the main condenser seawater discharge pipe (about as big around as the trunk of a large tree) in the bilge. I looked at him and said "pauly?". First words out his mouth were, "I wasn't beating off". He caught he'll for that for weeks.
Retired in '96. Went to work in a silicon plant repairing and programming inductive furnaces. Moved to a steel mill doing more of the same. Went to work as a UPS tech for a manufacturer, and moved on to a power systems company. Odd how it evolved over time.
By the way, when I went on my first Sea Trials/Training on the Destroyer, I also went thru the "jokes" thing.......Seabat, Mail Buoy Watch and Bucket of Steam.
Seabat: New SA is called up on deck at night to see a seabat caught under a pail. As a sailor holds a flashlight, the SA onboard gently lifts the side of the bucket up to take a short peak ("don't want the dang thing to fly away" the SA is told) and two sailors step out of the dark and swat the SA on the butt with brooms! Bingo.....Seabat!
Mail Buoy Watch: New SA is told to put on the radio and binoculars that are on laying on the wench on the Bow and keep an eye out for the Mail Buoy. Only thing is, there is NO such thing and the SA is finally told that after some time of watching for one!
Bucket of Steam: New SA is told to go to the Boiler Room and get a bucket of steam. So, down to the Boiler Room he goes and asks one of the sailors there for the steam. What does the SA get......laughed at a whole lot and called a "dumba**"!
Oh yea, those fun times of being new (right out of Boot) on a ship!
Yeah there were always some good pranks to be played onboard to relieve some stress!
When i was on the USS America we were down at Haiti when all that was going on and president Carter saved the day. We were on station like 45-55 days ( i dont really remember how long but it was well over a month) and one of our IC3's was due to seperate. This was one of those types that loved to play pranks on people but he definately could not take it when the joke was on him.
Ic3 had been told that when Air ops had a flight for him they would call down and he would fly out to be processed for seperation. Well i knew he was waiting on that call so being the good shop supervisor that I was I had to play one last joke on him. I called my Chief on another phone and told him to call down and ask for me in a minute. IC3 was on watch and answered the phone. he took the call and handed the phone over to me when the Chief asked for me. i acted like we were having a conversation and ended with 'ok 12 noon in the crews lounge, I'll tell him". Then told IC3 his flight was ready and he needed to be in the crews lounge at noon in civilian clothes ready to fly off.
he jumped up yelling and happy as could be. He ran back to berthing and unknown to me he had just gotten a care package from his wife with cookies and candy and a whole assortment of goodies. he gave everything away! he made his rounds quickly and said goodbye to everyone and went to the lounge to wait. About 12:15 the Chief walked through there and saw him in civvies and asked what he was doing. He replied "chief you called down and told me to be here at noon ready to fly off" "no i didn't" the chief replied "you need to get changed and get back to work" haha
he was livid with me for the last 4 days he was there haha I told him he was just lucky I didnt prearrange it with a helo crew and have him strapped in a seat before we told him haha he was mostly mad that no one would give him anything back lol
Worst prank I witnessed was done to a newly wedded Sailor from our ship's deck division. A few days after his honeymoon, our ship went to sea for a 3 day exercise. A few guys from his division pinned him down and gave him several "hickeys" on his neck and chest. I cannot imagine having to explain such a thing to a new wife. . ."but honey, I swear, it was the guys on the ship who did this to me." Crazy days those were.
Worst prank I witnessed was done to a newly wedded Sailor from our ship's deck division. A few days after his honeymoon, our ship went to sea for a 3 day exercise. A few guys from his division pinned him down and gave him several "hickeys" on his neck and chest. I cannot imagine having to explain such a thing to a new wife. . ."but honey, I swear, it was the guys on the ship who did this to me." Crazy days those were.
Yeah, I bet they all "hated" it too. hehe. Just like the guys who are a little too eager to dress up like a lady on Wog Day.
Some engine room pranks
Senior chief told me inspectors were ready to inspect the MPA but we needed permission from Lt. To blow the MPA (main propulsion assistant, officer second in command of engineering dept). I told the Lt "senior chief <insert name> request permission to blow the MPA". senior chief wasn't happy but there wasn't anything he could do.
Keys to the main engines
Steam turbine engines don't need keys but some bootcamps don't know that. Some figure it out and go take a nap. We had one particular dumba** (we'll call him seaman recruit Smith) we had sweating buckets for over an hour trying to find those keys. Even went to the bridge, flight deck, deck dept, and even a Marine berthing.
Fallopian tubes
Sent a new guy to a tender (a repair ship that had women) to get some Fallopian tubes. He came back just before knock off and we asked him where were the Fallopian tubes? He said he had a date with them tonight.
About that Seaman Recruit Smith, he was a thief. He got caught stealing from his engineering dept. They restricted him to the ship and moved him to deck dept for his own protection. He got into an argument with his first class petty officer and pulled a knife on him. It was the PO1's personally ingrained knife. While he was restricted to the ship again, his wife began having an affair with his friend. When it was time to leave the ship and the Navy, master at arms sent two officers to ensure nothing happened to him, both were TAD (one from engineering and one from deck and both had had items stolen by him). Official story was that deck dept helped him pack his bag but it was so heavy that he fell back down the ladder. Unofficial story is that everyone got at least one good punch on him.
One other thing about being on the ship: you get to watch a buttload of movies on the closed circuit system. One night I got up to use the head at zero dark thirty and Lethal Weapon 3 was just ending. The next movie was Full Metal Jacket. Within the first 5 minutes of that movie starting the viewing area went from 2 to 30 Marines.
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