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My dad served as a yellow shirt on the flight deck of a Navy carrier in Vietnam. He was discharged early due to being blinded in one eye from a non-combat incident (while not in flight ops, mechanics test fired a jet's engines without warning people in the surrounding area and it kicked up debris which blinded him in one eye). After I served in the Navy, I began to experience some of the things my dad experienced. For example, for several years I had to warn the women I slept with to not wake me by touching me. If they did touch me while I slept, I'd punch or kick depending on where I was touched. Thankfully I didn't connect with the punch or kick when it did happen. Another example is sudden loud noises making me jump or nervous. My dad use to ask me to not slam the car door when getting in the car. Didn't think I had slammed the door. Now I realize how he felt every time my wife closes a cabinet door or car door. I've found that I now carefully and gently close the cabinet doors to avoid the sudden loud noise. Even felt pads aren't enough to soften the noise. We have an open living room and kitchen. My recliner is within a few feet of the refrigerator. One night I had a real fright. My wife had forgotten a soda in the freezer. When it burst, I literally dived onto the floor. I honestly thought our home had been shot. I ran to the bedroom to see if my wife was OK and even called the police. My heart was racing for hours. I later found the burst soda in the freezer. One Christmas season the wife wanted to go shopping at the mall. Grudgingly I agreed to go with her. She could feel my tension and nervousness as we held hands to not get separated. She's never asked me to go where there were such large crowds again. Another thing that happened was off and on for roughly ten years after leaving the Navy, I would have dreams that would cause me to jump up either gasping for air or ready to run with heart racing a mile a minute. Though I didn't go through traditional combat, I did have my own experience.
1. During Desert Storm, I was looking down from the flight deck and saw a mine pass very close to the ship where I was.
2. During Desert Storm, while at General Quarters for real, we heard "missile inbound, all hands brace for impact". Thankfully it was shot out of the sky before it could hit the ship.
3. many fires in the engine room of the ship.
4. ammunition elevator loaded with white phosperous broke and fell crashing into the magazine.
5. accidental electrocution when testing emergency lighting (ship yard worker wired the battle lantern wrong)
6. One day a large pipe burst. The pipe break was between the cut off valve and the ship's hull. This pipe was to the steam condenser for the steam turbine generator. We couldn't shut down the generator until another generator was brought up online and we couldn't shut the valve because that would make the flooding worse. Each time a pipe plug was inserted, the hole got bigger because of all the rust. It was many hours before the hole was plugged and patched safely. The ship was the USS LaSalle AGF-3 which use to be a 2 year tour of duty in the Persian Gulf but was then the 6th fleet flag ship in Gaeta, Italy and had just completed a ship yard period. The many layers of paint must have hid the rust on the pipe.
7. I nearly drowned when removing a pump for repairs. Took a long time to crawl through the bilges to get to the pump and another 10 minutes to manuver into a position to allow me to turn wrenches. Once in position, I could only move my head a few inches in either direction. Once the flanges separated I had a solid spray of ice cold ocean water hitting my face and chest. Couldn't breath, couldn't block the water, and couldn't get my head out of the way of the water. What saved me was our rule of no one working under the deck plates without a safety watch. He saw what was happening and got a large piece of metal and dropped it between my head and the water. Now that I could breathe, I had to tighten the bolts back up on the flanges to stop the water. Yes, we did have the inlet and outlet valves shut and tagged out of service. The valves failed. Spoke to my chief afterwards and insisted that I be the one to go back down there again. Divers put a box patch over the intake for the pump and i was able to safely remove the pump. Didn't realize how this effected me until one day at work I got some chemicals in my eyes. Went to the ER and they began a saline flush of my eyes. The water was very cold and all of a sudden I was ready to fight or run. Kept control of myself but I did break the arms of the chair from the death grip.
About the only good after effects of my time in the Navy is my response to fire. I react instantly and correctly when it happens. I also pay close attention to location of fire extinguishers, emergency exits, location of fire hoses, and whether or not a building has a sprinkler system.
To some extent. But like your father, my combat experience was over 40 years ago. The effects faded in time and now are relegated to mere night terrors once every year or so. It's livable.
To some extent. But like your father, my combat experience was over 40 years ago. The effects faded in time and now are relegated to mere night terrors once every year or so. It's livable.
I was discharged December 1997. The swinging or kicking when touched has stopped. The sudden loud noise and being around crowded areas is still a pain. The nightmares is now rare, maybe once or twice a year. I make sure to talk to my wife about my dreams. Sometimes I can trace the source of the dream, like something I saw on TV or a smell. Sometimes it's just a flashback dream. At one point in1999 my ex-wife and I tried to get back together. One night I had my drowning dream. I awoke screaming and gasping. She had to tell me over and over again I want on the ship. Glad my wife hasn't seen me having those dreams.
Often they have group meetings where vets with PTSD can sit and discuss these reactions.
It may help you, to be able to talk to others once/week about this.
At my VFW, we do not have any support meetings [wish we did]. But on occasion when a vet opens up about these things, everyone there understands.
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anyone else experience these?
