Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I don't mind the sales and stuff so much. Every holiday is like that. But I do get a little bothered by people saying "Happy Memorial Day." Still, it's less annoying than the million posts I saw on facebook on mother's day. If I have x friends on facebook, there were probably 1.5x posts related to mother's day.
I don't have any military connections. I did turn on some Sabaton music though. They sing about war. I don't think that counts as celebrating. I listen to them all the time anyway.
I worked today and you are right, it has become a day far removed from what it was intended to be. I've told this story on here before. In about 1964 or 65 I worked for Montgomery Ward. The store manager had a bright idea to hold a Memorial Day Sale. NO ONE had ever done that before because everything shut down on that day. He had pickets outside the store with signs and threatening phone calls from the VFW and other groups so he cancelled his sale and retreated back into his office.
Now, this day has lost all it's original intent and that is sad.
I do give thanks and remember those who gave their life. I'm very thankful for them.
However, the shaming I see on facebook and social media is getting out of control. Some people might as well put up a photo of a flag with a caption saying "if you're not a vet, then f**K you"...
The majority of Americans understand what the holiday is about. Not everyone wants to sit around a wallow in pity. I prefer to go out and live my life to the fullest. My friends would have wanted it that way.
That's why I headed over to the Memorial Day BBQ at the base. A chance for all, active, retired, veteran to get together, eat and drink as we thank each other during the impromptu football game. Nothing honors the memory of those who dies like free cold beer paid for by the base commander.
There are many "commercialized", non-memorial events occurring on military establishments by military members, veterans and family to make the label "hypocritical" appropriate for some of the criticism being leveled towards the civilian sector.
"What did you do while you were in the service." I didn't know that was such a horrific thing to ask someone.
Well, it's not that it's a horrific thing to ask. But in the context of a debate with someone about their military service, that question is all too often used to qualify someone's service. A lot of times the argument is made that unless someone served in direct combat their service isn't worth as much as others. I am not saying that you were doing this. I am just saying it's really easy for it to head that way, which is pretty silly. You can imagine most of us would like to avoid that, so not answering that question is one way to ensure it.
I do give thanks and remember those who gave their life. I'm very thankful for them.
However, the shaming I see on facebook and social media is getting out of control. Some people might as well put up a photo of a flag with a caption saying "if you're not a vet, then f**K you"...
The majority of Americans understand what the holiday is about. Not everyone wants to sit around a wallow in pity. I prefer to go out and live my life to the fullest. My friends would have wanted it that way.
My friend, who is a vet, posted something like that on Facebook. He was pointing out how some of the messages and comments (if you're not a vet, you can't celebrate Memorial Day, etc.), is ridiculous. What he posted as an example was essentially a photo of a vet and the caption was pretty much exactly what you put.
I usually see the grave visits happening on a Sunday. Maybe that's more of a Utah thing. Sunday the cars were lining up at the cemeteries, and flags and flowers were everywhere. Monday was more like a vacation from work - BBQs, movies, etc. So you had both the solemn, respectful remembrance, as well as the day-off-from-work mentality.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lizardspock
Well, it's not that it's a horrific thing to ask. But in the context of a debate with someone about their military service, that question is all too often used to qualify someone's service. A lot of times the argument is made that unless someone served in direct combat their service isn't worth as much as others. I am not saying that you were doing this. I am just saying it's really easy for it to head that way, which is pretty silly. You can imagine most of us would like to avoid that, so not answering that question is one way to ensure it.
Just my two cents.
This. It's like saying, "Tell me what you did so I can determine whether your service was good enough to warrant me paying attention to your opinion."
I'll be honest, I'm in Afghanistan right now and we barely talked about Memorial Day's meaning or anything like that. The closest we got to it was when a friend of mine ended up talking about her ex who was killed in Iraq because someone started asking her some questions but quickly stopped when he noticed the tears in her eyes. None of us are in the mood for crying on Memorial Day and we constantly have pictures and remembrances of the dead floating around our locations here so they can't be forgotten. I don't begrudge people from wanting to do things that make them happy on Memorial Day instead of spending it solemnly wandering around sad and I honestly believe many at least take a moment to think about the dead in some way because even with all the sales and parties mentioned, there are still plenty of notifications around reminding people what the day is supposed to be about. I can see why some people have a harder time relating to the meaning behind Memorial Day if they have never personally known anyone in the military just because that's sometimes a part of human nature, you don't necessarily fully respond to something that you haven't personally experienced. Sure it's nice to have civilians remember the sacrifices that have been made but I can also understand why those who haven't personally felt the heartache from those sacrifices wouldn't necessarily relate to the full meaning behind Memorial Day. My friends and I here even mentioned how we wished we could be partaking in some of those Memorial Day sales and I felt disappointed that I wasn't back in time to attend one of my friend's BBQ but that didn't mean I felt like I was disrespecting those brothers and sisters lost by wanting to participate in the day off fun that others could. I don't judge my friends on facebook talking about their day off and having fun because that doesn't necessarily mean they completely ignored why they had this day off, it's just that they chose to concentrate more on the happiness of life. I was far more annoyed when a fellow Soldier messed up Taps at a very recent memorial funeral I attended over here than I am at the average American w/no military experience for themselves or those they're close to not talking about the meaning of Memorial Day because in my opinion that Soldier should have known better such as knowing how to play it inside and out before doing so (or their higher ups should have chosen someone who wouldn't mess up something that has so much meaning to us at a time like that).
Also to those annoyed at people saying Happy Memorial Day, I disagree. My friends and I all said that to each other over here because we choose to use the day to remember the happy times with each other and with those lost (and frankly to be happy we're still alive as well) than to spend it crying or sad. I'm proud of those I have served with and I can never forget the sacrifices people have made and I don't need a special day set aside to feel that way. It's nice to have people show respect to those lost but at the same time I guess I see it kind of like other "mandatory holidays" in that I think it doesn't quite mean as much when some judge people for how they chose to spend Memorial Day because it shouldn't be a day where people feel obligated to act a certain way just because the holiday says you have to and to me it means more when people remember the sacrifices all on their own without the need for a holiday to say this is the specific day to do it. I might just be weird about that though, I don't know. I tend to feel more emotion when the Star-Spangled Banner is sung at baseball and hockey games than when I see someone feel obligated to throw up a "remember the dead" statement on their facebook wall on Memorial Day. Though on the opposite side of that, I do think certain public officials still need to follow through with holiday traditions when it comes to remembering the dead (esp when it comes to places like Arlington) and of course holding with the tradition in regards to the American flag out of respect for those who do need to see that to make it through remembering their loved ones lost.
Freedom of speech. He can choose to answer the question or not. I see people have asked him that exact same question many of times on this forum when he gets in an argument with them on a certain topic. I have no clue why he chose to jump down my throat over my feelings with this thread. Don't like it? Keep scrolling.
And not only have I done this to this member, but I see it done many times to other members by others without consequences. It was a legit question. "What did you do while you were in the service." I didn't know that was such a horrific thing to ask someone.
The main thing is that you have never served and somehow feel that your husband's MOS means that you are qualified to quantify other's service. I've seen you do it multiple times on this forum.
And I've posted multiple times what I did and am doing in the military. Search it out if you really care that much.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
