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Old 11-15-2022, 02:03 PM
 
Location: Where there is too much snow!
7,685 posts, read 13,099,490 times
Reputation: 4376

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Am I wrong for being irritated that my sisters keep putting my name next to my older brother's name when they thank vets on VETERANS DAY?
The reason why I ask this question is because he ran away from home, joined Army and had my parents worried sick for several months. Was a deserter in the early 70s and our father told him to either go back on his own or dad was going to drag him back. Then did time in Leavenworth for a few years for drug trafficking from Germany by mail. And was Dishonarably Discharged from the Armed Forces all in a manner of less than 3 years.
I served over 20 year of honorable services until I got hurt and was told that my time was up, even though I tried everything I could to stay in. I'm not highly decorated but decorated none the less. Never as so much ever got a bad counseling statement and excelled at everything I put my mind too. Applied for every kind of military school that was available to me for my Rate.
So am I wrong to being irritated when ever I see family member wishing him "the deserter " HAPPY VETERANS DAY? And none of them even so much as congratulated me for my retirement from the service I loved so much and didn't want to leave.
Please, only former servicemen reply, civilians have no idea what we go through to serve our Great Nation. Except GOLD STAR MOTHERS AND FATHERS, I take my hat off to you in respect. God Bless You.
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Old 11-15-2022, 02:24 PM
 
5,681 posts, read 3,514,975 times
Reputation: 16397
Quote:
Originally Posted by EarthBound? View Post
Am I wrong for being irritated that my sisters keep putting my name next to my older brother's name when they thank vets on VETERANS DAY?
The reason why I ask this question is because he ran away from home, joined Army and had my parents worried sick for several months. Was a deserter in the early 70s and our father told him to either go back on his own or dad was going to drag him back. Then did time in Leavenworth for a few years for drug trafficking from Germany by mail. And was Dishonarably Discharged from the Armed Forces all in a manner of less than 3 years.
I served over 20 year of honorable services until I got hurt and was told that my time was up, even though I tried everything I could to stay in. I'm not highly decorated but decorated none the less. Never as so much ever got a bad counseling statement and excelled at everything I put my mind too. Applied for every kind of military school that was available to me for my Rate.
So am I wrong to being irritated when ever I see family member wishing him "the deserter " HAPPY VETERANS DAY? And none of them even so much as congratulated me for my retirement from the service I loved so much and didn't want to leave.
Please, only former servicemen reply, civilians have no idea what we go through to serve our Great Nation. Except GOLD STAR MOTHERS AND FATHERS, I take my hat off to you in respect. God Bless You.
It doesn't make any sense to me for your family members to be wishing your deserter brother "Happy Veterans Day" instead of bestowing that wish upon you.
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Old 11-15-2022, 03:14 PM
 
Location: Hawaii/Alabama
2,265 posts, read 4,099,682 times
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Former Army MP & married to my basic training boyfriend (he retired with 23 years). I would be unhappy with your situation and wonder what your brother has to say about the situation.

Have you addressed your sisters and explained to them about the drastic difference between your military situation and your brother's mess of his own making?

Are they oblivious to what your brother's record actually means or do they just don't care? Try to tell them how it makes you feel and why it is actually a big deal.

Good luck; my side of the family still has no clue about what we did in the Army (except for the cousins who Served).
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Old 11-15-2022, 03:28 PM
 
Location: Where there is too much snow!
7,685 posts, read 13,099,490 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by melaniej65 View Post
Former Army MP & married to my basic training boyfriend (he retired with 23 years). I would be unhappy with your situation and wonder what your brother has to say about the situation.

Have you addressed your sisters and explained to them about the drastic difference between your military situation and your brother's mess of his own making?

Are they oblivious to what your brother's record actually means or do they just don't care? Try to tell them how it makes you feel and why it is actually a big deal.

Good luck; my side of the family still has no clue about what we did in the Army (except for the cousins who Served).
Yes i has tried to talk to them about it, but theirs replies were, "but atleast he tried". And yes they all know of his time in Leavenworth and why. But for some reason ive always been the black sheep of the family.
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Old 11-15-2022, 04:04 PM
 
5,681 posts, read 3,514,975 times
Reputation: 16397
Quote:
Originally Posted by EarthBound? View Post
Yes i has tried to talk to them about it, but theirs replies were, "but atleast he tried". And yes they all know of his time in Leavenworth and why. But for some reason ive always been the black sheep of the family.
I suspect that it's because of some issue that's not related at all to military service. That's still no reason for them to congratulate your brother who was a deserter and not you who served honorably for 20+ years, but families (and acquaintances) can hold grudges or resentment for a variety of reasons totally unrelated to military service. I suggest that you look for some different reason why they don't congratulate you on your military service.
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Old 11-15-2022, 04:31 PM
 
Location: Where there is too much snow!
7,685 posts, read 13,099,490 times
Reputation: 4376
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chas863 View Post
I suspect that it's because of some issue that's not related at all to military service. That's still no reason for them to congratulate your brother who was a deserter and not you who served honorably for 20+ years, but families (and acquaintances) can hold grudges or resentment for a variety of reasons totally unrelated to military service. I suggest that you look for some different reason why they don't congratulate you on your military service.
Ive actually gotten to the point where I started to avoid most of them all together. Its seems that the more accomplished i got tge more poisonous they became.
But it well always bother me that a deserter can be placed equal to those who served with honor.
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Old 11-15-2022, 04:47 PM
 
5,681 posts, read 3,514,975 times
Reputation: 16397
Quote:
Originally Posted by EarthBound? View Post
Ive actually gotten to the point where I started to avoid most of them all together. Its seems that the more accomplished i got tge more poisonous they became.
But it well always bother me that a deserter can be placed equal to those who served with honor.
From your description, it sounds like they are envious of you. Therefore, they're not going to congratulate you for anything. I wouldn't worry about it if I were you.
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Old 11-15-2022, 05:40 PM
 
Location: Where there is too much snow!
7,685 posts, read 13,099,490 times
Reputation: 4376
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chas863 View Post
From your description, it sounds like they are envious of you. Therefore, they're not going to congratulate you for anything. I wouldn't worry about it if I were you.
Ya know, you have a point. Thanks
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Old 11-15-2022, 09:00 PM
 
Location: Hawaii/Alabama
2,265 posts, read 4,099,682 times
Reputation: 6602
So your sisters are wilfully obtuse? Just tell them to quit mentioning your name at all if they cannot tell the difference between your honorable Retirement from the Service and your brother's time that ended with time in Leavenworth and a dishonorable discharge.

I would be as upset as you if my family pulled that kind of b.s.!
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Old 11-16-2022, 03:53 AM
 
Location: Honolulu/DMV Area/NYC
30,489 posts, read 17,940,485 times
Reputation: 34207
I'm currently active duty, so my perspective comes from that.

I definitely say that you have every right to be upset over what's happening. Giving credit to someone who hasn't earned it--whether in a stolen valor case or what you are dealing with now--doesn't sit right with me. That said, for me, I'm at the point in my life where I refuse to let the foolishness of others anger me as it would cause too much stress, etc.
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