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I have a good buddy who has been a close friend since we were in elementary school. We are now 26 years old. My friend is very educated, intelligent and personable. He joined ROTC in college, became utterly obsessed with the military, and last year (6 months ago) he completed 15 months in Iraq.
For his friends, including myself, the problem is that he NEVER shuts up about the army. It's like he truly believes everyone in the world is fascinated by Army life, and that we really want to hear his constant stories. He constantly brags about his accomplishments, uses his uniform to try and pick up girls, and talks to civilians in "army talk" (ie. FOB, IED, "birds" instead of "airlplanes.") When we remind him that we have no idea what these anacronyms mean, he just ignores us and keeps talking. He wants us to constantly praise him for serving in the army, and we have! But it's never enough for him. We've thrown him "welcome home parties," we've thanked him for putting his life on the line for us over and over. But, like an alcoholic needing a fix, the attention and praise is never enough to satisfy him.
So, here is my question. I know our service-people come in all stripes, but is this a relatively common problem for others who have Army friends? We have gotten to the point where the only way to get through to him is to, quite frankly, be rude to him about it. For example, we were at a bar one night, and I was ready to go home after being out with him all night. He said "oh come on, I almost died for your freedom, and you can't even stay out another hour and drink with me!" T His brother said "Dude, shut up, you KNOW we appreciate what you did, but you can't say crap like that. Nobody wants to hear it over and over!"
Is this type of attitude wrong on our part? Should we just shut up and continue to bow down to his every whim because he served in the military? I don't see how that can possibly be healthy for him in the long run. Or, as his friends, do we have a responsibility to let him know that his actions are very revolting to "ordinary civilians" like us? At some point, he HAS to relaize that we all have careers that we don't constantly brag about, and we don't need to hear about the every day details of his profession either.
p.s. He has had this attitude since long before he went to Iraq, so this is nothing new. He's been this way since the day he joined the military.
Have you ever had a dog?. I did and when he was panting a lot with his tongue hanging out...I would purposely stick my tongue out at his face and do the thing back at him. He would stop doing it...automatic reflex.
You need to give your friend a dose of his own medicine. Always interupt him by referring to something you do or did recently or in the past...rubbing it into his face. He will eventually get the message and quit talking about his heroics.
No different then computer IT geeks I know....Ram this Byte that ( I worry about those guys). Maybe now that he's around civilians all the time it will ware off???
just ignore him, it's a personality trait not a military trend, imho
Fully agree...OP, I only see three options...
1) Continue to be rude
2) Like an alcoholic, give him an intervention
3) Have him seek help, which would most likely require an intervention...
guys i knew who got into really sticky situations and made it out really don't like to talk about it
Isn't that funny, the ones who have been in the SH*T say nothing while those who have not are the ones at the bar telling their stories to anyone who will listen and some that don't want to.
Everyone's met someone like that. I hide from them. Only his best friend could convince him to shut up. If you're ask to join him, just tell him no thanks. Eventually, he'll ask why you're avoiding him. That's your opportunity. Until then, he won't hear any criticism from anyone. You're wasting your time worrying about it.
Isn't that funny, the ones who have been in the SH*T say nothing while those who have not are the ones at the bar telling their stories to anyone who will listen and some that don't want to.
I tend to agree with this observation. I have seen that before. Maybe what the guy claim he has done is true but often it is not.
There is no need to toot your horn. Everybody can tell a fake from the real deal.
If it is that bad, someone close to him should sit him down on a one to one bring him back to earth. Sure, he may get upset but in the long run it is for his own good.
If you are a good friend, you need to have a good heart to heart talk with him. He may not like it, it may break the friendship but hopefully not forever.
He is in a different world. He is maturing. This happens to a lot of people. You start growing apart. For some it happens in High School. Others if they go off to college. Others when they get married.
I don't have all the answers, I just believe that this should not be allowed to destroy the friendship, you may regret it years down the road....
No, it is not typical of military members with many not wanting to talk about it when they can get a break. If he did it to me, I would just talk constantly about my job and then hint that maybe we should leave it at the office and not spend our time talking about work since I know how bored he must get with my going on and on. People do change and perhaps he has nothing else in his life anymore as the military is all consuming for some.
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