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Old 02-20-2010, 11:15 AM
 
90 posts, read 298,186 times
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Is this too old?

I have reservations about him joining only because I want him safe. His girlfriend of one year does not want him to join either (she may leave him).

It is something he really wants to do so if he decides to, he will most def have family support. But he will be leaving a job that pays him 72k a year ... Financially will it be worth it to him?

Please don't take offense to this as I just do not know what the military entails. Forgive me for my ignorance.

-a nervous CT mom
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Old 02-20-2010, 12:31 PM
 
Location: New Mexico U.S.A.
26,527 posts, read 51,518,771 times
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He is not too old.

If his girlfriend may leave him then all the more for him to join.

72k a year sounds good to me.

No offense taken, I doubt you could offend most people in this forum, they might kick your butt, but they won't be offended...

I don't know what a "CT mom" is. My mom was Mom, my dear Mom, my loving Mom...



Poncho
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Old 02-20-2010, 12:53 PM
 
409 posts, read 2,629,206 times
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What is his motivation to enlist?
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Old 02-20-2010, 01:30 PM
 
1,558 posts, read 4,764,719 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by atreidi View Post
What is his motivation to enlist?
Good question, and 25 is not to old.
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Old 02-20-2010, 01:35 PM
 
90 posts, read 298,186 times
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CT mom is "connecticut mom" :-)

He has always wanted to join but we steered him toward college instead. He is now really interested in it, but his job will not pay him for leave since he was not enlisted at time of hire (understandable of course).

Do they get to come home to visit often?
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Old 02-20-2010, 01:45 PM
 
Location: New Mexico U.S.A.
26,527 posts, read 51,518,771 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blogspott View Post
Do they get to come home to visit often?
US Military get 30 days per year of leave. Sometimes that is enough, sometimes it is not. Depends on situation.

Sometimes due to unit situations, there may be periods you can not take leave.


Rich
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Old 02-20-2010, 03:18 PM
 
409 posts, read 2,629,206 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blogspott View Post
CT mom is "connecticut mom" :-)

He has always wanted to join but we steered him toward college instead. He is now really interested in it, but his job will not pay him for leave since he was not enlisted at time of hire (understandable of course).

Do they get to come home to visit often?
A similar thing happened to me. I tried enlisting when I was 20 and my parents convinced me not to do it. At 22 I tried again, and once more my father came up with a plan to convince me against it. Now that I am 25, no one is stopping me.
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Old 02-20-2010, 05:40 PM
 
645 posts, read 1,959,686 times
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He's 25 years old, he can make decisions on his own. Of course he won't make more money, but he's not joining for the money.

I joined the military at 19. I did not ask my parents, I told them that I was joining. That's part of the process from growing from a boy to a man. I'm 33 years old now and it's been an awesome experience.
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Old 02-20-2010, 06:13 PM
 
Location: Corydon, IN
3,688 posts, read 4,997,307 times
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CT Mom, I can definitely understand your trepidation. Not knowing about the military yourself it's absolutely correct that you question your son's decision.

The military can be a WONDERFUL thing for some people, an absolutely TERRIBLE thing for others.

First off, it is NOT your decision to make, not in the least anymore, when he's 25 years old.

What is your son's level of maturity? That's a tough question for some mothers to answer. On one hand he'll always be your baby, and on the other some mothers find this difficult to address honestly, whether they're proud of their child and want to brag him up or disappointed at an immaturity all too common in today's youth which they'd rather not admit. It's a thing to consider when you're deciding how you feel and how to address this with your son. At 25 years of age your son may technically be a man but I've known some people even older who had a lot of growing up to do -- and when that's the case the military, especially the Corps, is a place where that can happen.

Only you can answer this question because you know your son; the people in this forum do not. When you answer this question for yourself, strive to answer HONESTLY.

As for your son's motivation:

Simply "this is something he's always wanted to do" is a possible motivation, but it's pretty vague.

Some kids join because they've seen too many movies and they bought into some of those military commercials with strong-but-unkempt young men climbing "mountains of challenge", fighting fiery "demons of unrest" and coming out straight-laced and very capable Marines on the other side. I refer to that series of commercials because your son is looking to join the Corps. Heaven forbid I mention the "Army of One" fiasco, where kids utterly fail to grasp esprits-de-corps.

I served both Army and Air Force. Knowing NOW what I do, if I could go back and do it all over again I'd have joined the Corps -- not because of any sense of or need for adventure, but because I saw that as long as Marines worked hard and devoted themselves, the Corps tended to take care of them. It pushed them, used them for the tools they are (and never make that mistake -- as a serviceman you ARE a tool to be used), but it took care of them as well.

This was my observation from talking to and working with Marines, my observation as an outsider. I also realize from 22 years of service that there are both good units in which a person can excel and bad units where you can bust a hump all the livelong day and only the garbage rises to the top. A unit is ALMOST only as good as its leadership, and there IS such a thing as bad leadership out there.

If you're in a good unit the military can be an unbelievably rewarding experience which delivers a sense of worth and accomplishment. A bad unit can turn it into frustration, anger and ultimately a sense of bitterness which is hard to expunge.


Believe me, your son will realize quickly that the money is NOT the motivational factor. So you need to discuss with him what his motivation IS, even though this is not your decision. You need to discuss it with him because this is a serious matter, a life-altering one that HE needs to be questioning.

One thing your son can do in order to gain some answers is to approach recruiters from OTHER services and discuss his options with them. He can take (assuming he hasn't already taken) the ASVAB and find out the kinds of jobs for which he's qualified.

Even though some jobs won't translate directly, trust me, if the Army ONLY wants to use him as a grunt, he'll also be a grunt in the Marines. If the Army or Air Force want to talk to him about DLI (Defense Language Institute, training in a foreign language) and work in Intelligence, trust me again -- the Corps will want to talk to him about that sort of job as well.

And bear in mind, ANY job they offer, ANY of them, they'll talk up as though they're handing you Wonka's Golden Ticket; and it may or may not be the case.

The reason I suggest this is because WHILE of all services I would urge him to join the Marines, every Marine I knew told me they had no idea for which job they'd been selected until they'd completed Basic Training because the Corps tries to keep them as "uniform" as possible throughout Basic, which means even job selection is not something desired to keep them mentally separate.

With a high enough score there ARE opportunities to be had through the military. With a low enough score, he'd be better off sticking with whatever job is paying him 72K at 25 years of age.

If your son has a college degree but isn't 100 percent positive that the Corps is for him, or the military at all (meaning if this is just something he wants to TRY -- and again, only you can judge his maturity level when you question this) then I would urge him to do ONE stint as enlisted, learning whether this is for him or not, learning about life as a Marine from the bottom up.

Should he decide this IS the life for him, then at the end of his time he can seek approval as an Officer Candidate -- a whole 'nother world, believe me. It's a tough life BUT there is NO sense in living a life or earning a pension as an NCO should you rise through the ranks when living a life and earning that pension as an officer is available to you, if it's available at all.

This is the advice I'd give my own son, WILL give my own son someday, so believe me, I'm approaching it with as open a mind as possible on all counts when I tell you these things, ma'am.

YOU know your son. The military could be a huge mistake, there's no denying; or it could be the finest experience your son ever has, an experience to change him into a Man worthy of respect and admiration.

Best of luck.
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Old 02-20-2010, 09:07 PM
 
Location: DuPont, WA
541 posts, read 2,132,551 times
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Long time Marine Mom here (as well as Army wife). If your son decides to enlist, he will be making far less than $72k per year. Is it worth it? Well, that depends on the person and what is important to him/her. He will work long hours, do a lot of physical exercise and most likely deploy to harms way on a regular basis...

As far as visiting home, as another poster said, they do get 30 days of leave per year. Depending on his job, he might get 3-4 day weekends for most Federal holidays. My son's first enlistment, he was in a job that got those holidays off so he would always fly home for 4 days every holdiay. Now, however, his is in a job that requires regular shift work so he does not get holidays off unless it happens to fall on his scheduled days off...

Does your son have a 4-year college degree? If so, I would encourage him to look into OCS (Officer Candidate School) versus enlisting. One of the perks is it pays better

And, honestly, the proudest day of my life so far has been the day I watched my son graduate from USMC Boot Camp. I have never been more proud of anyone in my whole life!!!
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