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After my first admittedly snarky post I thought about this a little more. I am surprised you are looking at Chicago or NYC considering the things you are concerned about. Perhaps you and big city life just don't mix well... we all have our own comfort zone. What about thinking smaller instead of bigger?
I will have more opporunities in a bigger city. In a bigger city if I find myself surround by "ghetto" people it's because I chose it. Here in Milwaukee it's very hard to find a place or hang with people without disruptions (getting shot at or the place getting closed down because of idiots).
I have family from my mother's side who live in Chicago all their lives and every now and then they come across ingorant people but for the most part they haven't really had any problems. They have their social spots and don't worry about whether it's going to it closed down because of idiots, they have friends with common interest and they aren't criticized because of the way they act or speak.
I packed up and left at 29 myself. I lived on 21st Clarke, 20th & Cherry, & 35th and Clarke. I went to Pulaski and Washington and even though I was raised around certain behaviors and certain folks I always chose to conduct myself in a certain way. Growing up was difficult because I didn't act a fool as an adult it was even more an issue because people assumed I thought I was better than them, because I refused to act in ways that I knew would negatively impact my life. Even still I could ignore the ignorance but when it got to the point where I saw how my children would end up paying for some of the stupidity, I saw it was time to bounce. The saying "it's about who you surround yourself with" holds no merit if your somewhere that collectivlely seems to be infested with certain ignorant behaviors. Don't get me wrong, everyone wasn't like that but it just seemed like more and more people were conforming to the self destructive behaviors that were killing us. I remember living on 44th and Meinecke and seeing ADULTS tell their children to go jump another children. People would stop in the street and shoot at each other, women would be outside fighting each other, and God forbid you are someone who tried to add some positivity to the life of one of the kids, you were seen as the enemy. The sad part is seeing IGNORANT folk raise kids. I joined a mentoring organization there and for a little while it was great, unfortunatly though it seemed as though the city was getting ridiculous and I had to make the decision that it was time to make a change for my childrens sake.
I relocated to Dallas and although it has issues too, there are so many opportunities right now that if you end up in a bad way here, it's because you simply refused to do better. It's ok for you to want better out of life and to do what you have to do to make it better for yourself. Your not hurting anyone but yourself by staying in a place that isn't good for you let alone to you.
two women at my job right now are getting prepared to move down south because they don't want to raise their children here in Milwaukee.
Every place has their issues but Milwaukee's issues are just too much especially if you have children.
When I do have kids, I already said I would NEVER raise them here in Milwaukee.
two women at my job right now are getting prepared to move down south because they don't want to raise their children here in Milwaukee.
Every place has their issues but Milwaukee's issues are just too much especially if you have children.
When I do have kids, I already said I would NEVER raise them here in Milwaukee.
Since you were born and raised in Mke, you may have become ultra-alert both to the transitions the city is facing and to the "ghettoization"/crassness of the majority of its people (and this crassness pervades all social classes, all around the world.) I was born and raised in the SF Bay Area, but burned out on it by my early twenties. In spite of the high proportion of professionals and cosmopolitan people around me, I increasingly saw crass materialism, parochialism (California as the center of the world), and mediocrity. A nice thing about moving to a new place--I've only been in Milwaukee for a few years--is that the slate is more or less clean, you can create social circles anew in your own image (and not according to decisions your family and friends made for you), and you don't have the baggage of experience of "how much better things used to be." Perhaps a stint outside of Milwaukee is the best thing for you, as leaving SF was the best thing for me.
A nice thing about moving to a new place--I've only been in Milwaukee for a few years--is that the slate is more or less clean, you can create social circles anew in your own image (and not according to decisions your family and friends made for you), and you don't have the baggage of experience of "how much better things used to be." Perhaps a stint outside of Milwaukee is the best thing for you, as leaving SF was the best thing for me.
I love your post
Yes, I want to create new social circles with people like-minded as myself. I do find myself going on and on about how Milwaukee use to be. When I turned 21 and started going out, it was so fun and in just under 2 years, I couldn't go out anymore without worrying for my safety or there just wasn't anymore clubs open.
Yes, I want to create new social circles with people like-minded as myself. I do find myself going on and on about how Milwaukee use to be. When I turned 21 and started going out, it was so fun and in just under 2 years, I couldn't go out anymore without worrying for my safety or there just wasn't anymore clubs open.
My situation sounds similar to yours. I moved from Milwaukee to Atlanta 4 years ago & don't regret it a second!! I was stuck in a dead end job & was tired of seeing people that just did not care about progressing or improving themselves. (& I HATED the cold weather with a passion!!) Within 4 months of living here, I was able to land a professional job that pays almost twice as much as I was making there, bought a newer car, & live in a gated apartment complex. I've met some great like-minded friends here, & the social scene here has something for everybody. ATL may not be for you, because it's not for everyone, so you should explore a few cities before you decide where you want to go. The change sounds like it will be good for you.
Right now Chicago is my main focal point but I am looking at other cities. My family told me to explore more and see what else is there. Chicago was my first choice because my family would be nearby.
Experiences like yours really help me to continue in my goal to move.
I have lived in Milwaukee my whole life (I'm 29) on the east and northwest side of Milwaukee and although I'm comfortable here, I just can't take ignorant people living here.
I don't believe Milwaukee is segregated because of color, I think it's segrgated based on who have money and who doesn't and those who don't have much money seems to not want more for themselves.
I see young men who don't seem to care about anything in life and girls who think being a ***** is a way of life. I know it's in every city but because Milwaukee is so small, it seems like most of the community acts this way.
You can't keep a club open for no more than a month without idiots shooting each other.
For some reason here people think being ghetto is a good thing. I have been dissed so much by people because of the way I talk or act.
I understand the job situations in this city but finishing school is one way to accomplish something with your life. I saw my parents struggle very hard yet they still manage to feed their family. So I have some sympathy for some who have criminal records but are trying to get a good decent job or for single mothers doing it without assistantance. But imo, that's a small number of people. The majority act like they are owned something and don't even try to achieve anything with their life. They look at music videos and think they are suppose to have what the rappers have and instead of working for it they would rather rob or kill someone for it.
It's sad and I think it's time for me to leave.
Seriously, hang out elsewhere and with other people. What you're seeing is a product of where you are going. THere are many professionals in the area, even in the city. But people tend to associate with other like minds. If you're feeling neglected or rejected because you don't act ghetto or whatever, count your blessings and find a new group of friends.
Someone who looks, acts, and speaks professionally, will have no problem being accepted as someone who is professional. Insert your desired word of choice where I have used the word "professional". Seek out the places where people like you go, where people like you work, where people like you hang out.
The thing is, you can leave, but you won't find it any different in any major city across the country. It may vary slightly, but ultimately it will be the same.
Someone who looks, acts, and speaks professionally, will have no problem being accepted as someone who is professional. Insert your desired word of choice where I have used the word "professional". Seek out the places where people like you go, where people like you work, where people like you hang out.
The thing is, you can leave, but you won't find it any different in any major city across the country. It may vary slightly, but ultimately it will be the same.
Ok, please don't take this as an attack or anything like that, but I do have a question for you or anyone who feels like responding. What is your opinion on why so many of the decent, hard working, educated, middle class minority professionals (like myself & others on this board) are moving away from Milwaukee, landing better jobs and doing twice as better for themselves? There has to be something to that.
I can only give you my own example(s) All of my friends that I graduated high school & college with have moved to a different city or are making serious preparations to move (looking for a job, saving the $$$, etc.) out of Milwaukee. None of us are the "ghetto fab" type of people, etc, but since there are so many of that kind of element there, we were always stereotyped where ever we went. There was no getting away from it. We all got fed up because whenever we decided to go someplace nice, like a expensive restaurant, etc., we were getting looked at strangely because we weren't acting ghetto or we speak with proper english. (I can recall one place downtown in particular by simply walking in where we were told, "you know this is an expensive establishment, we expect certain behaviors here, we will call the police if you don't pay your bill!" Of course we left, & the place lost at least $350 that night) It's because the ignorant acting people there have ruined it for us that are actually trying to be decent & hard working. Yes, you can find other like minded friends, but since Milwaukee is a smaller city, everywhere we went we were stereotyped due to being outnumbered. I have YET to experience anything like that here. I do see ignorance & ghettoness here, but since there are a lot more people, I'm not around it 98% of the time. (I give it 2% because every once in a blue moon I'll run into it, but since I basically know the places to go now, it does not happen)
Ok, please don't take this as an attack or anything like that, but I do have a question for you or anyone who feels like responding. What is your opinion on why so many of the decent, hard working, educated, middle class minority professionals (like myself & others on this board) are moving away from Milwaukee, landing better jobs and doing twice as better for themselves? There has to be something to that.
I can only give you my own example(s) All of my friends that I graduated high school & college with have moved to a different city or are making serious preparations to move (looking for a job, saving the $$$, etc.) out of Milwaukee. None of us are the "ghetto fab" type of people, etc, but since there are so many of that kind of element there, we were always stereotyped where ever we went. There was no getting away from it. We all got fed up because whenever we decided to go someplace nice, like a expensive restaurant, etc., we were getting looked at strangely because we weren't acting ghetto or we speak with proper english. (I can recall one place downtown in particular by simply walking in where we were told, "you know this is an expensive establishment, we expect certain behaviors here, we will call the police if you don't pay your bill!" Of course we left, & the place lost at least $350 that night) It's because the ignorant acting people there have ruined it for us that are actually trying to be decent & hard working. Yes, you can find other like minded friends, but since Milwaukee is a smaller city, everywhere we went we were stereotyped due to being outnumbered. I have YET to experience anything like that here. I do see ignorance & ghettoness here, but since there are a lot more people, I'm not around it 98% of the time. (I give it 2% because every once in a blue moon I'll run into it, but since I basically know the places to go now, it does not happen)
I think there are a lot of reasons for all of this, but one important one is: Leadership (or lack of it). And I don't mean to say that these things happen just because of what goes on in city hall, the police dept., etc.; they also happen because we really could use more civic, business, and academic leaders to step in and help improve things.
I know all of this is quite vague, and they're not problems unique to Milwaukee. Also, it seems that civic, business, and academic leadership has been improving over the past decade, but not quickly enough. But what I'm really getting is that there are so many things that could be done that aren't getting done. In Milwaukee's Black community, for example, there are very few leaders who have visibility, and unfortunately, some of these leaders have had a negative impact in general. Whenever I open a newspaper here, I should see a huge promotional ad for Bronzeville and its businesses; there should be a Black Milwaukee "yellow pages" distributed all over the city; there should be a visible Black Businesspersons League making the rounds all over the city.... Maybe some of this exists, but you would never know it unless you're in the inner circle. The leadership and publicity are not very aggressive.
There are many other examples of this sort of thing, from Bay View to the Northwest Side. Some of the city's best examples of leadership, interestingly, comes from the Hispanic community. Though there's still work to be done in that regard, the Hispanic leadership has done a lot promote businesses, social issues, and other concerns to a wider audience.
Related to this is the seeming lack of people to take major risks in certain enterprises, and worse, the lack of an infrastructure to connect adventurous people with opportunities. On the level of business, for example, there are many potential opportunities for minorities to own and operate interesting, innovative, low-cost restaurants in upscale areas that have high demand for such places. I believe there's a great opportunity for Southeast Asians, for example, to open and operate Thai restaurants in places like Bay View, Shorewood, Whitefish Bay, Wauwatosa, and other well-heeled communities that would support such things. But the business climate is too conservative; people aren't thinking about these opportunities, or don't want to take on the risk.
So, what we get instead are the same burger and pizza places, and the same whitebread "upscale" restaurants, owned and operated by people who have little contact with minorities. As a result, the prejudice at that level only continues, and more walls are created.
In some other cities, due in part to recent immigration patterns, and due in part to more successful desegregation patterns, business risks of the sort I've described have become commonplace--a part of the culture. This is helping, little by little, to change attitudes. This could happen in Milwaukee, as Milwaukee is reasonably prosperous and has a lot of great people and resources, but for some reason it hasn't taken root in a big way here. I hope it does.
Anyone who thinks that Milwaukee isn't downward spiraling faster than just about any other big city is naive. The last ten years have been shocking.
Blame white flight to the cookie cutter western suburbs. At this rate, Milwaukee will be another Detroit in ten or fifteen years.
What a shame. Such a great city.
i disagree areas have been like this for years you can no longer blame white flight, theres no excuses, detriot has always had a very large black population so white flight there also is a fad and much of this so called white flight happened in the late 70's 80's not 00's
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