Soon-to-be homeless need advice (St. Paul, Maplewood: for sale, homes, purchase)

[20yrsinBranson]

Originally Posted by MnMomma

I'm sure you already know this, but the chemical dependency and social phobias are tightly linked. Without therapy, you're going nowhere. Give Teen Challenge a chance. A real chance. Not everything is group. Life isn't going to change until you can change. I think it sounds like you're ready--so don't avoid it, just get it done!

Therapy? Do you personally know anyone who was "cured" with therapy? Please read "Psychiatry: The Ultimate Betrayal" and then tell me you recommend therapy.

20yrsinBranson

[20yrsinBranson]

Originally Posted by Govie

There are a number of factors that led me to this point. Depression, social phobia, chemical dependency and the loss of my significant other a couple years ago which pretty much devastated me. The chemical dependency is now a pretty big factor, which I know many here will say now I am a POS that deserves this. I don't want sympathy or anything just happy that people have given me some ideas here, which is what I was looking for. The social phobia is pretty bad, which I don't expect anyone to understand either. The depression, well I've had that since as far as I can remember, and I have persistent passive suicidal thoughts. I was on meds through GAMC but I stopped due to side effects and premiums.

In a nutshell I've worn my welcome out with the folks and I believe they gave me a week. They will keep my belongings in good order it's just it's time for me to check out, so to speak. After laying that all down on you I would not expect anything from anyone here, but just know I have never been a violent person or confrontational and aside from a DUI 2004 I have no record. I could go on about my siblings, but let's just say one won't deal with me anymore and the other is in Europe.

You're going to have to make your mind up to change if you want your life to get better. I'm sorry that you have not gotten to the place yet where that can happen. If you are happy and content living your life, then that is fine. No judgements here. Just know that you can turn it around any second you want to. DM me if you want to know how - (no religion involved).

20yrsinBranson

[MnMomma]

Originally Posted by 20yrsinBranson

Therapy? Do you personally know anyone who was "cured" with therapy? Please read "Psychiatry: The Ultimate Betrayal" and then tell me you recommend therapy.

20yrsinBranson

Yes---me.

[Govie]

Well I've sobered up enough now (5 days) that my mind doesn't feel like mush anymore and I talked to one of my best friends (a St. Paul native) who is in Westminster, CO, and who is also a Teen Challenge graduate.

He basically said I should do the 2 month program, not the 13 month one that he did. I could get back on good terms that way and I do believe 2 months would be sufficient. The only thing is how militant the program is, which I had already pretty much known about.

Further, he and his girlfriend actually broke up recently (I knew about this, but was reluctant to phone him) and his place would be an option for a month or two if I tossed him a couple hundred a month. I suppose I could hold up fort here in my car until January and get down that way for the worst of Winter with him, but I'm thinking I need to make a concrete decision now, and I don't know how the situation is down there so can't be sure how long my welcome would be. His apartment does have a pool and Jacuzzi and Colorado I could even golf year 'round (pretty much my passion since I stopped playing hockey seriously).

I am leaning toward doing a tour of TC and see what the facility is like. Funny how sobriety clears your mind a bit. I was suicidal the last three days hard, and today it got even worse until I phoned him. I felt nauseous just eating thinking I might just run a hose into my car.

[tickyul]

Originally Posted by Govie

I have a few thousand saved and my car and that's it. I never thought about the camping I will look into that. The only problem is in a couple months there will be several feet of snow on the ground and you will freeze to death in probably hours. I am certain campgrounds will not be functioning at all during Winter.

How much is your car worth.........possibly trade it in for a van that you could sleep in.

I slept in my van for over a year, was actually pretty easy.

[Govie]

With a new paint job and a few minor things done, could probably fetch $2,500.

Currently, maybe $1,500-2,000. The thing runs so perfect though and I've been the owner since 2004 and it has had nothing wrong except the starter which I replaced.

[Camden Northsider]

Originally Posted by Govie

I am leaning toward doing a tour of TC and see what the facility is like. Funny how sobriety clears your mind a bit. I was suicidal the last three days hard, and today it got even worse until I phoned him. I felt nauseous just eating thinking I might just run a hose into my car.

This is a good first step (the first sentence). Glad to hear you've gotten to a better place in your mind and moving away from the negative thoughts of harming yourself.

If things start to slide back in the wrong direction and your situation worsens- I would recommend you check yourself into a hospital. Just go to the ER or urgent care and let them know that you need help for suicidal ideation, substance abuse, and getting back on medication. They'll check you in and assign a social worker that can help connect you to treatment/mental health programs (and the doctor of course could get you back on a medication). You mentioned you were on GAMC so I assume there wouldn't be much if any costs involved with this- not that that should even be a consideration for you if you find yourself back in that frame of mind.

[Mason3000]

Take inventory of yourself, you've got a million things going for you. You speak English, you're articulate, computer literate, a college graduate, you've got a car, you've got thousands of dollars in reserve & you know the lay of the land because you're from here to boot!

Go check yourself into to treatment!

If you're not going to do that, then find a place to curl up for a few days (go to Motel 8, it's like $40...spend $160 & stay for 4 days) and sober up. Detox yourself (drink lots of water, then drink some more water, drink 3-4 liters a day) & get right. Obviously you're a fighter, so pull yourself up by your bootstraps now kid. Stop tweaking about your car. Stay sober long enough to find a studio apartment for rent or rent a room by the month somewhere (no roommates!). Now you've got "your place" & we all need..."our place". Then get a job. Doesn't have to be your career, just start earning a paycheck. Now you're working, paying the rent, a little left over...who knows? run a marathon? meet a girl? go back to school? anything's better than living in your car, in January, in Minnesota, if you don't have to. You deserve better than that.

[tickyul]

Originally Posted by Govie

With a new paint job and a few minor things done, could probably fetch $2,500.

Currently, maybe $1,500-2,000. The thing runs so perfect though and I've been the owner since 2004 and it has had nothing wrong except the starter which I replaced.

I think you should bite the bullet and prioritize. That means possibly trading in the car and getting a van SO YOU ARE ASSURED OF A PLACE TO SLEEP.

[MN55]

In case you're looking for jobs. Just today I went by three places (all in our just outside the Eastside) that are hiring.

The PetCo off White Bear Ave by Maplewood Mall had signs up on their doors. There's a new Irish bar and grill opening in White Bear Lake at the corner of 61 and 4th Street; it's the old Decoy's and they have hiring signs in the windows. Also the Cub Foods at Sunray. I'd check them all out if you're interested. McDonalds is also hiring a lot of employees currently. A job like that could hold you over and let you reestablish yourself. NOW is the best time to get an entry level job. The sooner the better. Kids are going back to college or high school leaving a lot of openings, but with the current economy most will be filled by labor day/mid September. After places are fully staffed, openings will be scarce until around Christmas time.