To return or not.... To return.... (Minneapolis, Austin: insurance, loan, pros and cons) - Minneapolis - St. Paul - Minnesota (MN) -Twin Cities - Page 3 - City-Data Forum

rtloucks · 08-01-2012, 02:55 PM

I dont know that I own a pair of rose-colored glassses anymoer...LOL
I have moved so much and realized that no plae is that different from teh next other than the climate and scenery.
I really dont rememebr it getting to be 104 last summer nor averaging 93. What i do know is that we were out house hunting and swimming every single day in the beautiful weather and i remember it being mostly in the mid-80's-90, but anyway im sure i could have missed a few days.

Back on point....

I think the fact is....I miss home. I have a chance to return. My wife misses MN, she has a decent job offer although neither job is as lucrative, it may not matter. Obviously we spend more out here on cost of living and activities. Not as mocu as we would lose in pay by coming there, but maybe the lifestyle could offer up enough of a change to make us happy again. And of course we could be around our family as much as we wanted. Whatis nice is that my brother and one sister are business owners so seeing them is not difficult since they work whatever schedule they want, and my other sister works nights so seeing her during the day is easy and My mother is retired so seeing her is easy, i just have to show up on her doorstep for coffee.

We have a lot of friends in both the TC and Rochester so seeing them more would be nice and as I mentioned before, my kids woudl get to play with thier cousins and see thier great grandparents and grandparent before its too late. That is the benefits for us....

the downfall besides the pay cut and lack of advancement is simple.... we woudl rather live in the south than MN and we are in DC with opportunity to stay or go anytime if an offer comes up back to TX or NC or Atlanta. We are trying to sacrafice to give it a shot, just scared to dump it all to go and regret it a year from now with no way to get back into our jobs that we left. I dont like feeling stuck and that is what i fear most.

Glenfield · 08-01-2012, 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rtloucks

I dont know that I own a pair of rose-colored glassses anymoer...LOL
I have moved so much and realized that no plae is that different from teh next other than the climate and scenery.
I really dont rememebr it getting to be 104 last summer nor averaging 93. What i do know is that we were out house hunting and swimming every single day in the beautiful weather and i remember it being mostly in the mid-80's-90, but anyway im sure i could have missed a few days.

Back on point....

I think the fact is....I miss home. I have a chance to return. My wife misses MN, she has a decent job offer although neither job is as lucrative, it may not matter. Obviously we spend more out here on cost of living and activities. Not as mocu as we would lose in pay by coming there, but maybe the lifestyle could offer up enough of a change to make us happy again. And of course we could be around our family as much as we wanted. Whatis nice is that my brother and one sister are business owners so seeing them is not difficult since they work whatever schedule they want, and my other sister works nights so seeing her during the day is easy and My mother is retired so seeing her is easy, i just have to show up on her doorstep for coffee.

We have a lot of friends in both the TC and Rochester so seeing them more would be nice and as I mentioned before, my kids woudl get to play with thier cousins and see thier great grandparents and grandparent before its too late. That is the benefits for us....

the downfall besides the pay cut and lack of advancement is simple.... we woudl rather live in the south than MN and we are in DC with opportunity to stay or go anytime if an offer comes up back to TX or NC or Atlanta. We are trying to sacrafice to give it a shot, just scared to dump it all to go and regret it a year from now with no way to get back into our jobs that we left. I dont like feeling stuck and that is what i fear most.

It feels like you'll keep coming back here until you get the answer you want. What is it that you want to hear? It's your decision. Man up and make it.

rtloucks · 08-01-2012, 03:19 PM

No, This has just trailed off a bit. I was hoping to hear more of peoples stories about what they have done when in a similar position. thats all. The first group of replys were very good, but then we got into the HUMIDITY subject which is usually when a thread is dead.....LOL.

Glenfield · 08-01-2012, 04:03 PM

I moved away from family for a better job and while there have been many positives, I will also have lifelong regrets.

uptown_urbanist · 08-01-2012, 05:56 PM

For most people I don't think there is any easy answer. For people who return (or never leave), there may well always be the "what if" question, and perhaps missed opportunities or a feeling that you're stuck in one place. If you live away from extended family, you miss out on the benefits of casual, more day-to-day family interaction. It was really nice to live near extended family and have our son do some of the things I used to do as a kid. I'm sure that's an even stronger feeling for families who have really long roots in one place. For a few people the answer is going to be clear and they will have no regrets; I don't think they're the norm. Everything has its pluses and minuses.

I think Glenfield's last post sums it up the best. We moved away, returned, moved away again, and have both gained and lost things with each move. I think you simply have to learn to live with that.

If you're fearing being stuck, stay where you are. Minnesota will be here. Job opportunities in MN will exist in the future. Maybe in a few years you'll feel more confident about a decision either way.

Since you both work from home for all or some of the time, how about trying to arrange some longer visits and work via telecommuting? Obviously tougher during the school year, but if you could get your work to approve it, you could stay in MN for a number of weeks, even months, without burning through vacation time. In any case, you live in DC, not the other side of the world; it sounds like you have the money to travel, so even if you don't see your extended family every week, you can still get a lot of family and MN friend time in during the year.

WannaBeinBoston · 08-01-2012, 07:08 PM

I've been down this road recently and am still struggling with whether we stay or go from our current locale. My motto is, if the decision isn't clear cut for you...do nothing. Let the decision be decided by something external or outside of your own control.

peachesplease · 08-02-2012, 01:40 AM

You asked for advice. Just listen to yourself. From what I read -- you miss your family, but don't really want to move back to Minnesota. You want to move to the South. So, wait a couple of years and see what happens. Don't get too antsy and do something you don't really want to do.

JosephineBeth · 08-03-2012, 06:26 PM

I can somewhat relate. I was born and raised in MN (Moorhead actually but my entire family lives in TC now). I moved from there in 1988 to San Diego. I loved CA when I first got there and for many years. I was never homesick for MN. CA is a very different place but had what I wanted - fun, beaches, laid back, anonymous. As I got older that MN family thing in me just kept rearing it's head. Whoever on this thread said MN is about family is SO RIGHT. I have not really encountered so much of it elsewhere. Fast forward to having kids and moving up in the workplace. Suddenly San Diego was no longer appealing - less pay for higher COL. I considered moving back to MN. Certainly all my family wanted me too. I went, I visited, I just could.not.do.it.

Instead I decided to come to a professional training being held in DC and fell in love with this place. That was last year - and next week marks the one year anniversary of our move. My teen and I. We absolutely adore it here - and have gone back to MN several times due to my mom passing away this spring. I love my family, I love the people of MN, it's not the winters which I don't like but could deal with. I crave all the things we have here in DC. Do I miss my family? Yes I do. Definitely. But over the last 25 years I've realized that living my life for them is not going to work. Sometimes that feels selfish. But there you have it. So you're not the only one who has been in this place of indecision. It is tough - and MN folks tend to not stay away long from my experience. It is a testament to the wonderful communities that exist there.

So in the end I could not/can not do it. Even though it is family I just don't fit there - or rather I fit better here in DC. I am flourishing with the variety of things to do - and my COL is actually no different than the TC. I live in Greenbelt though which is an older historic community that has its own flavor. Some of my friends tease me that I brought CA with me as Greenbelt has kind of an hippie feel to it (but it reminds me more of Berkely area or the area surrounding UCLA than it does San Diego!). We love it here and have been able to cultivate friendships that at least partially satisfy the family need...though not erase it. We just try to go home more when we get the chance. The bonus is flights from DC to Mpls are way cheaper than San Diego to Mpls which makes it easier to travel.

yoyoma02 · 08-06-2012, 12:12 AM

I lived in Minneapolis for 20 years and left a few years ago. Since then, I've had 2 job offers in the Twin Cities, with equal pay (and much lower cost of living) and I chose to decline them.

I miss my friends and I miss my family. But at the end of the day, I feel like I'm out on my own, living my own life. Not to mention, I hate the MN winters, so much so that it was a major factor in my decision making.

Minneapolis will always be there if you ever truly want to go back. Until then, enjoy the adventure!

BorderGirl · 08-12-2012, 07:54 PM

I'm currently debating moving back to Minnesota too. At the end of this month I will have lived in Utah for 6 years. I used to really love living here but now that I have a nephew and other changes in my family I feel that I would be more suited living closer to home. The Twin Cities area always drove me crazy because it seemed so busy and chaotic while Salt Lake City is much more laid back and relaxed. I'm from the northern part of the state and I know that I won't move back into that area because there isn't anything for me job wise. The cost of living is a little bit higher than in Salt Lake but I've found the wages to be 10-15k higher in Minnesota for a similar job to what I do now. I haven't made the final decision yet because there's so much in Utah that I don't want to give up. However, with the 5 college age punks that live above me that do not know what consideration and respect are I lean more towards Minnesota each day.

I hope you're able to make a decision that brings you peace so you don't constantly wonder "what if?"