Is MSP passive aggressive or genuinely nice? (Minneapolis, Minnetonka: transplants, house)

[Mini-apple-less]

Originally Posted by Min-Chi-Cbus

Are you sure YOU do?! I've never lived anywhere where so many people say "hi" or "how are you doing" or "have a nice day" as I did when living in the Twin Cities -- and I've lived in 5 different metros. Also, nowhere were people as nice as they are in the Twin Cities, again, in my experience.

If there's a friendlier bigger metro out there, I have yet to find it.

I really need to visit Minnesota myself to see!

[Campeador]

Originally Posted by Mason3000

This is a great post. I think of the way we are as being similar to Asian culture. I consider Asians very nice people, but like us they usually won't say hi unless the other person does so first. They look look at the ground and mind their own business, like we do. We both come from a culture where staring someone in the eyes is rude. Also like Asians, we choose the indirect communication route which can be frustrating for East Coasters specifically. We don't say "You were late, what's your problem bud!?", We look at our watch and say "Oh boy, I really needed to be there at 9:00, I hope this delay doesn't make me late (hint-hint)". For us, we also have some spacial boundaries (that Asians don't have) where we will not encroach a person's space and expect the same in return. We are reserved, that's the best way to describe it. Flashy watches, flashy cars, too much makeup, gold chains, loud booming voices are all societal non-nos.

That said, we are veeeeeery nice people. I worked out of the country for many years and will never forget one year I walked in the office and a bunch of East Coast guys were watching CNN and it was a story about a horrible flood in Moorehead/Fargo. The President had tried to send in the National Guard and send us a bunch of relief but our then Governor had turned it down. 3500 people from the Twin Cities had taken off of work and driven out to Moorehead to volunteer sandbagging. People in Moorehead had opened up their homes to them so they had a place to stay. A number of cement companies in the Twin Cities had sent their cement mixer trucks out there on their own dime to pour sand into the bags quicker. Basically the Governor said "Thanks, but this is Minnesota, we've got this covered.". The East Coasters were floored & I was very proud.

My wife is from the Caribbean and when we moved here she couldn't believe how nice we were, almost to a fault. When we had the back-to-back blizzards in 2010 we were sitting in our kitchen drinking coffee and working on our laptops. A car slid through the intersection outside and up onto the curb, getting stuck. I put on my boots, coat and gloves, grabbed a shovel and went out to help. Two other neighbors also came out and we got that guy on his way. 20 minutes later it happened again and again I got up to help and another neighbor also ran out to help this lady. When I came in my wife asked me "Who was that?". I said I didn't know, so she asked me "So then why did you help?". I explained it's just what we do in Minnesota, especially if you're a male. I call it "snow karma" and I explained that someday she would be in the same situation and some guys she didn't know would stop their cars and help her. She asked me "How much should I pay them?", which we still laugh about to this day.

Another of our Mn Nice things that blew my wife's mind was we came to a 4 way stop and all 4 cars arrived simultaneously. I waved to the lady on my left to go ahead, who in turn waved to the lady on her left to go ahead, who in turn waved to the guy on her left to go ahead, who insisted I go first. My wife shook her head and said it was the damnedest thing she'd ever seen.

I enjoyed your anecdotes. This winter here in North TX we had a decent snow storm and no one knows how to drive in it here and the cities are just not equipped for it. Folks were sliding into the ditch, so I pulled over and helped push them out. There was one other guy out there doing the same. We started talking and I could tell from his accent he wasn't from TX, and was likely from MI/Northern Ohio... sure enough, the two guys helping the (famously nice) Texans out were from Minneapolis (me) and Detroit.

My wife is from Latin America. She still thinks that the people of MN are the nicest she's ever met. We've lived in several states in the US and three different countries.

I moved from MN to the PNW when I was 20 or so and found the people less kind out there. There is this "too cool to show excitement/ emotion" out there that I detested. Everyone was trying so hard to be hip. Interestingly, my closest buds ended up being from Spokane... way less attitude.

[Mini-apple-less]

Originally Posted by Campeador

I moved from MN to the PNW when I was 20 or so and found the people less kind out there. There is this "too cool to show excitement/ emotion" out there that I detested. Everyone was trying so hard to be hip. Interestingly, my closest buds ended up being from Spokane... way less attitude.

I'm glad to know Minnesota doesn't share the same smugness. It's a weird kind of attitude, the "Cascadian smug". It's not really class based, it's more a disdain towards anyone who shows any signs of enjoying life.

[Astron1000]

The interaction with another stranger on the street also depends upon the context. If I am in either of the two downtowns then I hardly ever acknowledge someone passing by. But if I am in a park on a trail and passing someone I always make eye contact and smile or say hello and the other person almost always does the same. If I am hiking on a more remote trail then I'll usually engage with another person and sometimes ask about trail conditions ahead.

There is no crime in talking with a stranger. Because who knows? Maybe that stranger will end up being an important part of your life. Maybe they will become a close friend. Maybe they will be the person you marry. You just never know, so why limit yourself?

[cathedralhill1]

From Campeador: There is this "too cool to show excitement/ emotion" out there that I detested. Everyone was trying so hard to be hip.

Kind of sounds like how people in Saint Paul think of those in Minneapolis. I love it that Saint Paul doesn't try so hard, it just comes naturally.

[Mini-apple-less]

Originally Posted by Astron1000

The interaction with another stranger on the street also depends upon the context. If I am in either of the two downtowns then I hardly ever acknowledge someone passing by. But if I am in a park on a trail and passing someone I always make eye contact and smile or say hello and the other person almost always does the same. If I am hiking on a more remote trail then I'll usually engage with another person and sometimes ask about trail conditions ahead.

There is no crime in talking with a stranger. Because who knows? Maybe that stranger will end up being an important part of your life. Maybe they will become a close friend. Maybe they will be the person you marry. You just never know, so why limit yourself?

So basically Minnesotans are smug when the situation calls for it (ie, I'm on my way to work, no time to chit chat!) whereas people in the PNW are just smug and unfriendly period, even when they are supposed to be having fun and happy? Again I'm not saying this applies to everyone since people often misinterpret generalizations as personal attacks, but that's the trend I've noticed in the PNW, especially in Portland, Seattle, and Corvallis/Albany.

[Anneee]

I've lived here for 20 years and, IMHO, Minnesotans are polite but not friendly.

[wushuliu]

Originally Posted by Anneee

I've lived here for 20 years and, IMHO, Minnesotans are polite but not friendly.

Agreed. Minnesotans are phenomenally polite and helpful, but wow are they a hard nut to crack when it comes to friendship. I found it waaaay easier to make friends in Los Angeles than MSP. But then many Minnesotans are surrounded by family and friends who've never left so making new friends is just not something that comes easy to them IMO because they don't need to. Kind of like where I work so many people have been there FOREVER that when I got hired the whole HR process was kind of a mess. I eventually realized they are just not used to hiring new people like companies in other major metros.

[Mini-apple-less]

Originally Posted by wushuliu

Agreed. Minnesotans are phenomenally polite and helpful, but wow are they a hard nut to crack when it comes to friendship. I found it waaaay easier to make friends in Los Angeles than MSP. But then many Minnesotans are surrounded by family and friends who've never left so making new friends is just not something that comes easy to them IMO because they don't need to. Kind of like where I work so many people have been there FOREVER that when I got hired the whole HR process was kind of a mess. I eventually realized they are just not used to hiring new people like companies in other major metros.

Did you find people in MSP smug? Like "why the hell are you talking to me", that kind of mean spirited hostility towards outsiders?

[Glenfield]

Originally Posted by Mini-apple-less

Did you find people in MSP smug? Like "why the hell are you talking to me", that kind of mean spirited hostility towards outsiders?

Exactly where did you get this notion? It seems like you keep asking this question wanting someone to say yes.