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Old 01-11-2009, 10:13 PM
 
62 posts, read 172,591 times
Reputation: 38

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Quote:
Originally Posted by greyduk View Post
fitra... did you even read the response from Veridian? The post makes many great points... something to consider. As a native Minnesotan who's lived all over, I've not had any trouble meeting people. It's still been me though, that had to make the effort. And I had to consciously do it too, because I did grow up not wanting to intrude on others' social lives. We're modest people and never want to overestimate our welcome. It's not rudeness or disinterest.
It's not about intruding on someone's social life. It's about making eye contact when you see me walking down the hall. It's about being genuine. The friends I make in other states don't know my personal business or intrude on my social life. They approach me if I haven't approached them and they strike up a conversation about anything. And we talk...and we enjoy each other's company. And neither of us feels like we are trying to break down any walls. The walls of being friendly and social are down and there are no issues. Talk to some other people that are not from MN and see what they tell you. I'm from the south, but I ain't just whistling dixie.
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Old 01-11-2009, 10:19 PM
 
62 posts, read 172,591 times
Reputation: 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackOut View Post
I find your statement very odd being the Twin Cities area has added over a million from 1980 to 2007. During this time the state of MN has also grown. None of NC’s metro areas have added this many residents during the same time. So where have those million plus people been coming from? Whatever the case, your issue with not being able to meet people must have had something to do with you, not the people from or those moving to the Minneapolis area.
Alot of the people flocking to the TC are from other parts of MN. There are a few people that some of these corporations recruit to come and live here. When those people move away, MNtans always want to say oh, maybe it was the cold. Yeah, the cold shoulder. I know five people that have moved away and while they love the music scene and the atmosphere of MN, they left because of the people. I talk to these people on a regular basis and they can't beleive I am still here. I can't either.
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Old 01-11-2009, 10:24 PM
 
62 posts, read 172,591 times
Reputation: 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by mngirl1 View Post
Totally, agree! It takes a while to "make friends", but when you do...they are keepers! However, to be honest, the ones we have made are not really from here. I'm from Oklahoma! I do miss the Southern Hospitality. Just the tone in a person's voice when driving through a "drive through restaurant" is different here. I try to be "friendly" to everyone I meet, but sometimes you feel you are only "bothering" people. Wish it was different, because I like almost everything else about it, except the cold weather. However, in Oklahoma it's ice and tornados. Still, I would rather have warm people, if I have to deal with cold weather!
I have to disagree that it normally takes awhile to make friends. For me, it has always been instant connections with people. I think that is why living in MN has been so shocking...it takes forever. By the time they feel they can trust you enough to invite you to their house, you are worn down.

I feel you on that feeling that you are bothering folks. And then you get that inevitable "Yep" for everything. I absolutely love the TC, but if I am to keep my sanity, I gotsta go.
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Old 01-12-2009, 12:48 PM
 
86 posts, read 480,284 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fitra View Post
I gotsta go.
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Old 01-12-2009, 02:45 PM
 
Location: Austin, TX
288 posts, read 807,520 times
Reputation: 148
Just to give you guys a different perspective, that of a native MN who moved to the south. Ok, whether or not TX is the south or not is another matter, but anyway...

While people are overall nice and friendly down here, if you go for a walk in the park, it seems like a good chunk of the time I'm the one saying "hi" and then about half the time they'll actually say "hi" back. Lots of folks will ignore you when you try to be friendly, even in my neighborhood.

Now, granted, the newcomers outnumber the natives around here, but none the less, the unfriendliness can happen anywhere, not just MN. It's just a sad reflection of the declining sociability of our society. I guess lots of folks are just too darn busy to be friendly anymore.
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Old 01-12-2009, 11:15 PM
 
Location: Acworth
1,352 posts, read 4,358,614 times
Reputation: 476
Personal observations: the south likes southern people. the north (actual north) likes locals. Now don't get this twisted up. South is the same.. but there/here state boundaries are just a detail, so locals are really any born and raised in the region.

Certain parts of the midwest i have found to be the easiet places to hook up with people.

As for not sharing friends, it is called "friend guarding". You keep your friends to yourself because it is so hard to make them and it is some great social accomplishment. This is very prevalent in the south too.

Certain posts in this thread i could just change MN with GA/AL/FL and it would be the same in terms of people opening up to new folk.

Something else that needs to be said. People in the south ask you where you are from because your accent either doesn't fit, or it fits. They are basically profiling you to see if they should show further interest in your or not. If you are not local, they just go on to ask the usual questions so that later they can tell their friends they met x person from y location, but it does not mean in any way they will ever look at you again.

Home is where you finished high school, no matter if you leave it or not. When you go back, people will always remember you and know you and just resume from where you left. Even after 10 years.. trust me, I know this all too well.
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Old 01-12-2009, 11:17 PM
 
Location: Land of 10000 Lakes +
5,553 posts, read 6,718,144 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jazzymentality View Post
Now that you mention it, Minnesotans seem kind of "gruff" or something's wrong with them. I don't know how to describe it. They are nice but..
They're remote.
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Old 01-12-2009, 11:28 PM
 
Location: Land of 10000 Lakes +
5,553 posts, read 6,718,144 times
Reputation: 8575
Quote:
Originally Posted by akronbball View Post
I am finding comments like this pretty ridiculous. I have lived quite a few places in the US and lived in Europe too and never had a problem making friends, even when I didn’t speak the native tongue. I’m sure that the people in MN have more in common with people from other states than I did with my friends in Europe. My family is also not from MN and most of my family doesn’t live here. The family that does live here chooses to because they enjoy it here. I also just moved back to MN and live in a part of the state I don’t know anyone and haven’t had too much of a problem meeting anyone.

I think sometimes it just comes down to how hard you try to make friends and if you put yourself out there to build these meaningful friendships no one seems to be able to find.
I've been here over 30 years, and admittedly this place is hard to get into. People are pleasant, helpful, great customer service, but lack the outgoing friendliness and warmth you find in other places. My son was born and raised here and when he was in his 20s, moved to NYC. He comes back here yearly and it's culture shock each time - he finds that there is a general lack in the people here (he has friends in Sweden and says it's the same way there - probably the Scandinavian influence here in MN) in that if you didn't grow up here and formed friendships early on in school or at work or you don't have family here, you're kind of out in the cold. People do not reach out and say, "Great meeting you! Sure, come on over [on such and such a date"] or readily say, "You want to go for coffee?" It's not their custom to reach out.
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Old 01-12-2009, 11:32 PM
 
Location: Land of 10000 Lakes +
5,553 posts, read 6,718,144 times
Reputation: 8575
Quote:
Originally Posted by greyduk View Post
fitra... did you even read the response from Veridian? The post makes many great points... something to consider. As a native Minnesotan who's lived all over, I've not had any trouble meeting people. It's still been me though, that had to make the effort. And I had to consciously do it too, because I did grow up not wanting to intrude on others' social lives. We're modest people and never want to overestimate our welcome. It's not rudeness or disinterest.
That's the problem. The effort is one-sided and one would think the newcomer would be made to feel more welcome if for no other reason than being a newcomer.
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Old 01-13-2009, 03:49 PM
 
Location: Mahtomedi, MN
989 posts, read 2,948,447 times
Reputation: 329
Quote:
Originally Posted by cityrover View Post
Personal observations: the south likes southern people. the north (actual north) likes locals. Now don't get this twisted up. South is the same.. but there/here state boundaries are just a detail, so locals are really any born and raised in the region.

Certain parts of the midwest i have found to be the easiet places to hook up with people.

As for not sharing friends, it is called "friend guarding". You keep your friends to yourself because it is so hard to make them and it is some great social accomplishment. This is very prevalent in the south too.

Certain posts in this thread i could just change MN with GA/AL/FL and it would be the same in terms of people opening up to new folk.

Something else that needs to be said. People in the south ask you where you are from because your accent either doesn't fit, or it fits. They are basically profiling you to see if they should show further interest in your or not. If you are not local, they just go on to ask the usual questions so that later they can tell their friends they met x person from y location, but it does not mean in any way they will ever look at you again.

Home is where you finished high school, no matter if you leave it or not. When you go back, people will always remember you and know you and just resume from where you left. Even after 10 years.. trust me, I know this all too well.
Interesting post. Reminds me of something that happened when I visted a friend who moved to Nashville some years ago. We were playing some friendly low stakes poker and one of the guys from TN asked where I was from and I replied Minneapolis. We played out the hand and one of the other guys said "well I knew he wasn't gonna say Antioch".
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