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Old 08-21-2009, 01:56 PM
 
91 posts, read 189,259 times
Reputation: 56

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Quote:
Originally Posted by BJBoxcars View Post
I think Tindo hit it on the head! I'm also from out-of-state and it seems people have an established set of friends, often from high school, and never want to expand on those relationships. They're nice on the surface and that's it. It's truly amazing.

I've also heard people say that Minnesotans are passive aggressive. They'll be nice to your face and then talk behind your back.
On the east coast, people are straight with you. At least you know where you stand; none of this behind-the-back stuff. BRRRR!!!
Bolded part is COMPLETELY TRUE!! Not everyone here acts like that, but the majority do. I have experienced this many times. People act like they don't know you if they see you, then run away from you, then will e-mail you asking if it was YOU that they saw. I kid you not - this actually happened to me last week!
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Old 08-21-2009, 02:07 PM
 
91 posts, read 189,259 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cityrover View Post
you are not serious are you? 3 hours? and you call that a move worthy of any life experience? see thats the problem with most people that is only apparent to outsiders
LOL Some MN have that "I'm never leaving MN...this is the world!" attitude, too, and are caught up in it. How can you ever gain another perspective or view other than what's in your own backyard if you never leave?
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Old 08-21-2009, 02:13 PM
 
19 posts, read 73,643 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by User032009 View Post
Bolded part is COMPLETELY TRUE!! Not everyone here acts like that, but the majority do. I have experienced this many times. People act like they don't know you if they see you, then run away from you, then will e-mail you asking if it was YOU that they saw. I kid you not - this actually happened to me last week!
People everywhere have there own nuances and if this is the worst they then be thankful. I just moved back from Toronto and people won't stick you with a finger when you cut them off on the highway but chase you down and attempt to ram you off the road. There are worst places in the world than Minneapolis and I moved back here after a three year absence because life is just easier here. No rat race no intense snobery. The little nuances about people in Minneapolis (vicious gossip, making up stuff etc) will go away if you gently comfront them, Minnesotans hate comfrontation and will straighten up after that, they just need to know you are there
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Old 08-21-2009, 02:31 PM
 
10,629 posts, read 26,627,064 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by User032009 View Post
LOL Some MN have that "I'm never leaving MN...this is the world!" attitude, too, and are caught up in it. How can you ever gain another perspective or view other than what's in your own backyard if you never leave?
It can be annoying, certainly, but that attitude can be found anywhere; it's not a state-specific thing. Check out the other forums and you'll see the same sorts of complaints.
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Old 08-21-2009, 04:12 PM
 
207 posts, read 794,751 times
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I'm interested to hear more about your take on Torontonians versus Minnesotans. The comment below made me laugh. I'm not sure if it's true that many Torontonians are this way. It's a big city so I guess there's some of that big city aggression and snobbery as you put it, but I really don't have a clear sense of what Torontonians are like, and I've lived here a long time. Maybe I'll gain some perspective after I've left!

Hmmm, I wonder if there is someone who would like to actually collect some data from a few different city forums and see if there is any truth to this perception that Minnesotans are less friendly than people in other states. You could just do a poll on a few forums asking if people in that state are easy to make friends with or not, and whether they are less easy to make friends with than people in other states. I guess since I thought of it maybe I should do it, but alas, I'm too lazy... :P Maybe later...


Quote:
Originally Posted by Oscar25 View Post
People everywhere have there own nuances and if this is the worst they then be thankful. I just moved back from Toronto and people won't stick you with a finger when you cut them off on the highway but chase you down and attempt to ram you off the road. There are worst places in the world than Minneapolis and I moved back here after a three year absence because life is just easier here. No rat race no intense snobery. The little nuances about people in Minneapolis (vicious gossip, making up stuff etc) will go away if you gently comfront them, Minnesotans hate comfrontation and will straighten up after that, they just need to know you are there
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Old 08-21-2009, 06:02 PM
 
Location: Southern California
3,455 posts, read 8,309,248 times
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Isabel -- if you look around, you will see mentions of minnesota being one of the harder places to make new friends if you didn't grow up there.

I wouldn't call it unfriendly myself, just a harder place to relocate to if your single and past your early 20's.
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Old 08-21-2009, 07:10 PM
 
207 posts, read 794,751 times
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That's interesting. I assume there might be some truth to this, but the scientist in me wants to verify it. Also, would you say that it's more difficult to make friends in Minnesota than, say, Wisconsin or Chicago? Or are you thinking more along the lines of Minnesota versus California or, say, Texas? I'm really curious about this.

Quote:
Originally Posted by rgb123 View Post
Isabel -- if you look around, you will see mentions of minnesota being one of the harder places to make new friends if you didn't grow up there.

I wouldn't call it unfriendly myself, just a harder place to relocate to if your single and past your early 20's.
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Old 08-22-2009, 07:18 AM
 
20,793 posts, read 61,077,703 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Isabel_009 View Post
That's interesting. I assume there might be some truth to this, but the scientist in me wants to verify it. Also, would you say that it's more difficult to make friends in Minnesota than, say, Wisconsin or Chicago? Or are you thinking more along the lines of Minnesota versus California or, say, Texas? I'm really curious about this.
How can you verify something like this? There are way too many variables that come into play. I also suspect that given the tone of a lot of the negative posts about finding friends that the problem doesn't lie solely on the Minnesotans. We have moved around quite a bit, in MN and out of state and have never had issues finding friends. Get involved, invite some coworkers out, find a church, volunteer. No one is going to come knocking on your door asking "do you want to be my friend". It also takes time to build a friendship so don't expect to be instant friends with anyone (which I think a lot of people here DO expect).
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Old 08-22-2009, 10:27 AM
 
Location: Southern California
3,455 posts, read 8,309,248 times
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Isabel -- I think it comes down to the fact there are just fewer transplants in Minneapolis than there are in other places.

I did find it easier to make friends in California. California is very open to newcomers. Texas is okay. I find it easy enough to make friends but havn'e met a lot of people I have much in common with. I live near Austin and do find its a good place for dating in your 30's -- not so much friends but dating.

I went to grad school in Winona, MN. In my grad program we became fairly close knit and went to lunch together all the time. But at the end of the day, most people went home to their families and after school we didn't really keep in touch. Mine was a smaller program, but basically that is how it went. Most people were already married (or close to it) and we are friendly with each other still, sometimes talk on facebook - but I often felt I was the only one who really wanted to maintain these friendships. There are several I never hear from anymore at all (most of them actually). The one that occasionally calls me is from Ohio! And he is still single too. He and I were among the only singles in our program. I helped one of the younger girls get her first job (she is from Nothern MN) and I hardly even heard from her after that....even for a thank you. I took it personally at first, but I think that is just how she is. We have talked through email a few times.

I had more in common with my friends from MN than I do with nearly anyone I've met in Texas!

I feel that if I went to school as a younger student in MN fewer people would have been married and it would have been easier to make lasting friendships.

I have a friend who did undergrad in Minnesota out of high school (she is from NYC) and I just went to her wedding. Several of the wedding party were from Minnesota.

I think it is about timing! I certainly met nice people in my grad program but I was always wishing that people wanted to really be friends as much as I did. But they already had their lives mapped out and families, etc.

In my 30's there are a lot of places that are harder to meet people but I'd go for California myself. Unfortunatley that is not an option right now. So my options are to stay in Texas or go to St. Louis where I have an interview. I know St. Loius could be challenging to make friends or date in too (I'm more worreid about dating than making friends) but at least I will be a closer drive to my home to see MY high school and life long friends!

I've sort of resigned myself to-- this is what adult life is. You have a few friend, they might be scattered across the country but that is okay. At this point I am happy on my own and more concerned about dating options.
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Old 08-22-2009, 01:12 PM
 
Location: Back and forth
143 posts, read 391,981 times
Reputation: 63
Quote:
Originally Posted by golfgal View Post
No one is going to come knocking on your door asking "do you want to be my friend". It also takes time to build a friendship so don't expect to be instant friends with anyone (which I think a lot of people here DO expect).
Where are you getting the idea that people expect instant friendships or aren't willing to put effort into it? Except for maybe one post, it seems to me people are saying quite the opposite...
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