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Old 07-20-2009, 10:31 AM
 
72,797 posts, read 62,092,261 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by uptown_urbanist View Post
I think the school environment is going to be different, anyway, even if you don't end up being friends only with those from your department. I think (and this is just a theory) that a lot of the people with the most problems are probably a bit older and are moving to neighborhoods where most people have kids and have a busy life (because kids today seem to have so many scheduled activities, and the parents are often busy bringing them from one place to another on top of managing their own non-kid lives). The school setting is going to have a different vibe, especially if at a large school. Some people will still have busy family or personal lives, but you will share a common bond of participation in academic life with them. (and as a parent of a toddler, let me be the first to say that while I love talking about my kid, I also have a strong need to talk to people about other more intellectually-stimulating topics as well. Given your age bracket you'll probably meet other people around your age that have kids yet are eager to make non-kid-related friends; their schedules may not be as open as those without kids, though.)
I would agree that the intellectual scene has a different vibe depending on who you're around.
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Old 07-20-2009, 12:45 PM
 
10 posts, read 51,691 times
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I've lived here my whole life. I haven't traveled too much, but I've been around a little. I find Minnesotans to be terribly unapproachable! Girls always think your creepy (I'm a guy) and guys think you must be gay if you approach them. Its not too big a deal for me cause I am so terribly introverted, but sometimes I wish it was easier to make friends. If you're an attractive female, it should be a totally different story though. My observations seem to indicate that women are outnumbered by men here. Its nearly impossible to find a single girl around here. My palms are getting chapped... what can I say?
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Old 07-20-2009, 12:54 PM
 
Location: Minneapolis, MN
10,244 posts, read 16,276,294 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by skaught View Post
I've lived here my whole life. I haven't traveled too much, but I've been around a little. I find Minnesotans to be terribly unapproachable! Girls always think your creepy (I'm a guy) and guys think you must be gay if you approach them. Its not too big a deal for me cause I am so terribly introverted, but sometimes I wish it was easier to make friends. If you're an attractive female, it should be a totally different story though. My observations seem to indicate that women are outnumbered by men here. Its nearly impossible to find a single girl around here. My palms are getting chapped... what can I say?
Agreed. Then when I started traveling I realized how easy it is to meet girls in other places in comparison to the Twin Cities. I love living here though, so I highly recommend going elsewhere, finding a girl, and bringing her back to live with you here
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Old 07-20-2009, 12:57 PM
 
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I love living here too! I'm not too worried about it. I'm happy enough. I wouldn't mind having someone to come home to, but its all good either way. The last few relationships I have been in haven't worked because of the immense amount of alone time I need.
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Old 07-20-2009, 07:44 PM
 
Location: Edina, MN
355 posts, read 2,397,439 times
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LOL slig & skaught, I tend to err on the other side--but I'm a girl Do you really think there are more men here than women? I guess that would be good for me, bad for you

Isabel, I agree with you. MN is home to me, but I just moved back after not living here for nearly 8 years & am finding it's very hard to make new friends. I just turned 29 & I do think it is harder as you get older. Especially when a lot of people our age are already married with kids

I joined a running group on Meetup.com--it's a great site with a lot of different groups for almost anything you can imagine. Perfect for someone just moving into a new city. And for me, re-entering my home state. I have met some good, friendly people from the group & I think you would, too. A lot of the people I've met aren't even from MN, either. People are very welcoming. Just a suggestion in case you wanted to try it out. Do something, Learn something, Share something, Change something - Meetup.com
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Old 07-20-2009, 09:32 PM
 
207 posts, read 794,537 times
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I think Uptown_Urbanist and Ms Delilia make a good point about people with busy family/personal lives and how it might be different in the school setting. Awsun, thanks for the tip regarding meetup.com....sounds interesting, if a bit scary lol. Not too many desperate-seeming, forward types?

Quote:
Originally Posted by awsun1980 View Post
LOL slig & skaught, I tend to err on the other side--but I'm a girl Do you really think there are more men here than women? I guess that would be good for me, bad for you

Isabel, I agree with you. MN is home to me, but I just moved back after not living here for nearly 8 years & am finding it's very hard to make new friends. I just turned 29 & I do think it is harder as you get older. Especially when a lot of people our age are already married with kids

I joined a running group on Meetup.com--it's a great site with a lot of different groups for almost anything you can imagine. Perfect for someone just moving into a new city. And for me, re-entering my home state. I have met some good, friendly people from the group & I think you would, too. A lot of the people I've met aren't even from MN, either. People are very welcoming. Just a suggestion in case you wanted to try it out. Do something, Learn something, Share something, Change something - Meetup.com
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Old 07-20-2009, 09:47 PM
 
Location: Edina, MN
355 posts, read 2,397,439 times
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Not the people I've met, not at all! I don't consider myself to be desperate, either, I'm pretty shy when I first meet people. So I think you would be fine--it's not scary at all. Just go on the website for awhile & look around & you will see that you are not the only one out there in the 'just moved to a new town' situation. Once you will yourself to get out there & make the effort, the scariness wears off over time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isabel_009 View Post
I think Uptown_Urbanist and Ms Delilia make a good point about people with busy family/personal lives and how it might be different in the school setting. Awsun, thanks for the tip regarding meetup.com....sounds interesting, if a bit scary lol. Not too many desperate-seeming, forward types?
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Old 07-20-2009, 09:50 PM
 
207 posts, read 794,537 times
Reputation: 49
I'm gonna play devil's advocate here and suggest that maybe, Skaught, you think that people perceive you that way and this is why you don't approach them? You said yourself that you are very introverted. But yeah, I definitely understand the predicament. It's really a tight rope that one must walk if they want to make new friends or get a date, and especially difficult if you are shy. BUT, one can't give up!! I do think that some of us may have expectations that we'll be rejected because we don't already have a gaggle of friends...I wonder if it would be easier to make friends if one already had a bunch?

I think I'm especially fearful because I don't have particularly close friends where I live. I changed a lot as I was growing up and radically outgrew some of my teen friendships. I was also pretty shy. Nevertheless, I'm not really as shy now so I think I might do okay, provided I can walk the tightrope...


Quote:
Originally Posted by skaught View Post
I've lived here my whole life. I haven't traveled too much, but I've been around a little. I find Minnesotans to be terribly unapproachable! Girls always think your creepy (I'm a guy) and guys think you must be gay if you approach them. Its not too big a deal for me cause I am so terribly introverted, but sometimes I wish it was easier to make friends. If you're an attractive female, it should be a totally different story though. My observations seem to indicate that women are outnumbered by men here. Its nearly impossible to find a single girl around here. My palms are getting chapped... what can I say?
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Old 07-20-2009, 10:05 PM
 
207 posts, read 794,537 times
Reputation: 49
Hmmm, okay...I'll check it out then, thanks!

It makes me a little sad to think about all the people out there who might be perfectly decent, friendly people who want more friendship in their lives but somehow missed the boat...oh well, I don't think it's ever too late. Just have to be smart about it and not get discouraged. I think part of the issue too is that some people like spending time alone (myself included) and so it's very easy to just not make an effort to get out there and make new contacts. One also has to be willing to leave their comfort zone. It's tough, but I think it's worth the challenge...

One thing I think is really important is that a person look for activities that they really like to do, and that will bring them into contact with others. No sense in torturing one's self too much...besides, if you aren't committed to the activity then it'll be easier to give up.

Look at me giving myself advice! lol.

Quote:
Originally Posted by awsun1980 View Post
Not the people I've met, not at all! I don't consider myself to be desperate, either, I'm pretty shy when I first meet people. So I think you would be fine--it's not scary at all. Just go on the website for awhile & look around & you will see that you are not the only one out there in the 'just moved to a new town' situation. Once you will yourself to get out there & make the effort, the scariness wears off over time.
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Old 07-20-2009, 11:14 PM
 
Location: Eden Prairie, MN
432 posts, read 1,654,691 times
Reputation: 178
In addition,if you are got a 30 years old lady,then it could be easier to get a boyfriend in MN than to make a friend in MN,lol.

BORGUSX a.k.a. Cougar Hunter!
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