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So I've recently moved to the area (Plymouth) and I don't know anyone here. I'm from the midwest so I know that most people have friends that they have known forever. However it can't be impossible to meet new people right?
I know the usual suggestions: join a club, join a gym, church, get involved.
And I work with people more than twice my age. Most of them have kids older than me. So that's pretty much a dead end.
So I'm looking for specific suggestions. I'm really not a fan of showing up to a bar by myself (doesn't sound like a good idea). And really, I just feel awkward going places by myself - or I go places like the gym and I'm there for a reason and kind of tune things out around me.
Any help? I really want to like it here but you can only have so much fun by yourself. Where should I go? Must see places? If you were in my situation what did/would you do? Thanks!
Well, my first advice would have been don't move to Plymouth, but it sounds too late for that. I don't know from personal experience, but I would imagine that it's much, much harder to find friends when you're living in a suburb that's heavily oriented towards families or older people with grown children. That said, assuming you're willing to try out some of the "usual suggestions," and to drive a bit if necessary, you should be able to meet some people.
One technique is to get involved in neighborhood organizations. I don't know what they're like in Plymouth, but every neighborhood in Minneapolis has a formal organizatiom that deals with all sorts of neighborhood issues. At the very least you meet people from your neighborhood. Then again, if everyone involved is much older and at a different life stage than you it might not be the best social networking option. Still, you'll meet some people, recognize some neighbors, and maybe there's a few other similar people there that you'll hit it off with, regardless of age.
I would also try the volunteering route. Be practical about it, though. While every nonprofit can probably use volunteers, and you'd be contributing to a cause anywhere, some places are going to be better for building friendships than others. Is there any particular issue you're most interested in? I've found that small, but not tiny, places are some of the best places. You want somewhere with a small staff and an active volunteer group, ideally a volunteer group that's not all retirees. A blend of ages is good, though, and although I'm young I've enjoyed meeting some fabulous (and much, much older) volunteers with fascinating backgrounds and years' worth of great stories. You'll all have something in common, which is at least a good place to start. I'd hesitate to offer a specific place to volunteer, as the right place for you is going to factor in your own personal interests.
Check out whatever local community education classes you have out there. Or, if you're willing to drive, check out the offerings at other area locations. I know Southwest Community Education in Southwest Minneapolis offers both evening classes on practically every topic you can think of, as well as offers both day and sometimes overnight ski and bike trips. In addition to taking the classes, you could consider applying to teach something. You'd make a little extra cash, meet some people, and maybe make some friends.
Do you have a dog? I wouldn't advocate getting one just for the sake of meeting people, but taking dogs on walks is a great way to meet people in the neighborhood. Or see if any local animal shelters need help walking dogs. I know the Humane Society in Golden Valley has a lot of volunteer activities, although I think they do require an initial committment and may provide some training or orientation.
If you have the time consider taking a language class at the U (or elsewhere); my theory on this is that the more obscure, the better. I took some evening Norwegian classes and my fellow classmates were all over the map as far as ages, interests, and reasons for taking the class. I can't speak for all the language programs at the U, but at least when I was there the Scandinavian language classes were pretty social and knew how to have a good time.
Good luck. You'll meet people eventually, and, I hope, sooner rather than later. In the meantime explore different areas of the Twin Cities, check out different options, and try to simply enjoy getting to know the area.
So I've recently moved to the area (Plymouth) and I don't know anyone here. I'm from the midwest so I know that most people have friends that they have known forever. However it can't be impossible to meet new people right?
I know the usual suggestions: join a club, join a gym, church, get involved.
And I work with people more than twice my age. Most of them have kids older than me. So that's pretty much a dead end.
So I'm looking for specific suggestions. I'm really not a fan of showing up to a bar by myself (doesn't sound like a good idea). And really, I just feel awkward going places by myself - or I go places like the gym and I'm there for a reason and kind of tune things out around me.
Any help? I really want to like it here but you can only have so much fun by yourself. Where should I go? Must see places? If you were in my situation what did/would you do? Thanks!
Well first off stay away from the bars, they are generally no good anyway. From the midwest, do you hunt? How about bow and arrow. There are plenty of shooting ranges to go too and meet folks with like ideas.
Keep the job you have for now but keep looking for something different. Get some fishing gear and head out for the water somewhere. Do you drive? Head out for Taylors Falls or somewhere near by that has stuff to do that you like.
go buy a mountain bike and find the bike shop that has group rides. Go along with those guys and gals and on that mountain bike you will be able to see so much and do so many things. Yeah that would be it getting an mountain bike a good one and go on the group rides together.
Voulunteer if you have the time for meals on wheels, and deliver meals to folks who may not be able to get out themselves.
For two years I voulunteered with Habitat for Humanity and helped build two different houses.
Try doing that once or twice a week if you have time, that would be great!
See if the neighborhood you live in has a crime watch going on and if it does see what its all about and lend a hand in the neighborhood crime watch. Maybe see if you could start one folks like that sort of stuff. Helps feel secure and comes with resposnsibility.
Take downhill ski lessons over at the ski hill in Burnsville (??) somewhere down there anyway. Get involved in community projects by helping with neighborhood parks or cleaning up the water, or counting birds, or helping to build hiking trails.
Introduce yourself to the neighbors, ask questions as to what they like and what is there to do around here??
Volunteer at a homeless shelter, or animal shelter. Volunteer, volunteer and volunteer.
Thats really what I did. Habitat for Humanity, a woodworking shop for older people and community projects, cooking in a kitchen that prepaired meals for special needs people, at a homeless shelter in the kitchen and dining room area.
Take walks around the area you live in. Get to know the nearby parks, and freguent the nearby stores and talk to people you see from time to time.
Take swimming classes, art classes, throw a potters wheel for classes, take up photography.
Guaranteed for that good friendship that will come the effort is worth the effort.
Join meetup.com - it's huge - no charge - you enroll online and they have tons and tons of activities and ways to meet people (in the same boat as you) - more than you'd ever be able to manage. It's not a singles group, though one of the sub groups is for singles. Camping, brunch, music, dancing, books, spiritual, dogs, etc. etc and the list goes on and on.
You could start by not "tuning out" whats around you when going to the gym =) Sounds like its more of a problem of your own self imposed limitations...
You could start by not "tuning out" whats around you when going to the gym =) Sounds like its more of a problem of your own self imposed limitations...
That seems a bit harsh. Lots of people tune out at the gym because they're focussing on working out and getting fit. It's difficult to keep running on a treadmill or doing your aerobics if you're busy chatting or setting up coffee dates . Even if you see someone you know well, most of the time you just nod at each other and keep going.
Swmrbird: If possible, try relocating to an area of town more popular with young singletons like yourself. I also volunteered at the MN Zoo for 6 years and met quite a few people there - it was really interesting and good fun too. If you're into fitness why not join a running club? I know there are several around town.
Well first off stay away from the bars, they are generally no good anyway. d
Thank you very much! If you want to hate any paradise a right away, start going to their bars and clubs and that will just about guarantee it. I know your situation, I just spent three years away and moved back because I just could not make friends no matter how I tried. Without friends (wingman etc), your dating opportunities are limited also. Its a universal problem but friends made in adultlife are not as enriching or reliable as childhood friends or family members. My advice for you is to lure a friend or family member to MN if you like it so much here. If thats not an option, ask people (co-workers, church etc) if they know someone your age they can introduce you to. Moving to Minneapolis will not help either as people are pretty much well spread out in the twin-cities besides the more mellow/laid back the better so if Plymouth is not for you I strongly recommend St paul (North/Grand/Highland Park). Whatever you do or end up, be very wary of eager strangers, no friends is better than a frenemy or worse a criminal!
So if I shouldn't live in Plymouth, where does anyone recommend? Not that I'll be moving soon - but I am willing once my lease is up provided it doesn't require an enormous commute. Even though I can't imagine it will make a huge difference.
And I won't be changing my job either- I spent too many years in school - so if I'm leaving my job, I'm just out right moving on to some place new. So all I can hope for there is new hires.
Thanks for the suggestions and feel free to keep them coming!
There is nothing wrong with Plymouth and no reason to move. Just get involved in something-whatever-and by involved means actively involved not just signing up and attending a meeting or two. Volunteer somewhere, something that interests you and you will meet people. It will take some time though.
What kind of place do you like? Are you working in Plymouth? It's not that there's a problem with Plymouth itself, it's that it's that it's not the kind of place a lot of younger (not sure of your age), single, or new to the area people live. I think that would make it much harder to find people in your neighborhood who aren't already busy with going to their kids' soccer games and school events. Or, in the case of my older Plymouth relatives with adult kids, bouncing back and forth between Plymouth and their winter places in Arizona. Not that you can't find friends in Plymouth, it's just going to be more difficult than in some areas.
Uptown is the trendy, urban place for young single people (although plenty of married people and those with kids live there, too) and a lot of people there are also from other places. Parts of St. Louis Park also seem to have a lot of single, younger people, as do (I think) parts of Hopkins. There are, of course, many, many other neighborhoods that would also have lots of other single people, but those are some of the areas I'm more familiar with (that aren't on the other side of the city).
It may or may not make a huge difference, but that's going to be up to you. I think it will make a huge difference if you get at all involved in neighborhood activities or make an attempt to get to know your neighbors. Your neighbors in Uptown (or many other similar neighborhoods) are going to include a higher percentage of people who are closer to your age and who don't have kids. There are a lot of community activities, but unlike in some more strongly kid-oriented neighborhoods a lot of the activities are of greater interest to young, single people (less family carnivals, more beer festivals or wine tastings). If your residence is mostly just where you park your car and sleep at night then it won't matter where you live, other than for commuting purposes.
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. Even if you see someone you know well, most of the time you just nod at each other and keep going.
