The Guide for Making Friends in Minnesota for Outsiders (Minneapolis: movies, to live)

[rcsteiner]

Originally Posted by Teak

True that. Avoid talk about sensitive, divisive topics, like politics, religion, and the [REDACTED].

Watch your mouth.

[Teak]

Originally Posted by rcsteiner

Watch your mouth.

Sorry! Good thing the MODS are being lenient today.

Another way to make friends is to hand out enormous wads of cash. If you have a pile, I'll be your friend.

[sparksals]

Originally Posted by golfgal

We has the same experience. Spend a lovely NYE with several neighbors. Can find the neighbor kids playing outside all the time. Parents gather in the street to chat many evenings. Help each other dig out of bad snowfalls, etc. We've always had great neighbors everywhere we've lived.

Honestly, my parents live in Missouri and HATE their neighborhood. They have tried to have neighborhood parties, no one comes, they try to strike up conversations with neighbors, no one says more than hi. Their next door neighbors had their first baby, parents brought over a gift for them, the couple took the present, said thanks, and shut the door. They have lived in their neighborhood for 10 years and it hasn't changed at all, not for lack of trying.....

Hmmmmmm... your parent's neighbourhood sounds exactly like I described my experience in Rosemount and many others here in the TC's have experienced. Yet, when I wrote about that, you continually said there was something wrong with me, something I didn't do right. Why is your parent's neighbourhood so bad yet you admonish others who have a similar experience here in MN?

Very interesting.

[sparksals]

Originally Posted by Globe199

Yet another thread that attempts to generalize people. If you like your neighbors, great. But your satisfaction does not depend on this being Minnesota. There are good neighbors and bad neighbors in all 50 states. I know, it's shocking to some that you could walk across the border into another state and not find drastically different conditions.

"We didn't have any problems making friends in MN."

That's good. But it's not because you're in MN. It's because of your unique circumstances (where you live, the people with whom you interact, etc.).

"Minnesotans are genuinely nice and friendly."

I don't know how you can make a statement like this. I've encountered nice and friendly people here, and mean and unfriendly people here. In neither case did I attribute those conditions to being in Minnesota because I saw those things when I lived outside Minnesota.

"Never get direct, blunt, or confrontational with Minnesotans even if you know you are right."

Does that imply that I can do that with citizens of another state because they are of a different species or something?

"Just try your best to act more Minnesotan and you should be just fine."

What the crap does that even mean???

I'm sorry to sound so critical, but I just find this kind of thread so lacking in credibility. You're attempting to generalize, for the purposes of "outsiders," the citizens of Minnesota, as if we're of a homogenous type. I don't get that. Even if this state were not growing more diverse (which it definitely is), it would still be an exercise in futility. We just aren't all the same. We will all have different experiences. Some newcomers will find this a welcoming place, others will not. But those situations are not unique to Minnesota.

Certainly we can expect places with more transplants to perhaps put on a more outgoing face, but that concept has been discussed and established ad nauseum here. I'm not saying we shouldn't discuss it. But I do think we need to avoid generalizing Minnesotans; the idea of doing such a thing is loony in my opinion.

Thank you for posting this.

[green_mariner]

Originally Posted by Sarimn00

That sounds about right.

Oh, and when all else fails, bring up the weather.

Ah yes, the weather. Quite an interesting topic to talk about.

[golfgal]

Originally Posted by sparksals

Hmmmmmm... your parent's neighbourhood sounds exactly like I described my experience in Rosemount and many others here in the TC's have experienced. Yet, when I wrote about that, you continually said there was something wrong with me, something I didn't do right. Why is your parent's neighbourhood so bad yet you admonish others who have a similar experience here in MN?

Very interesting.

I suggested you look outside of your neighborhood and you shot down every suggestion I made because you "don't like to do that". It's not them, it's you when you refuse to join a church, a club, go to events at the schools, etc., etc., etc.

[slamont61]

Go to Bar Bingo. Have a beer, play some bingo. Meet the locals.

[chessgeek]

I think the "do not discuss politics" is a little exaggerated. When I visited an old neighbor in Fridley we discussed it a little. Of course I knew going in that she and her husband were centrist/maybe a little left of center and I am similar, so it was no problem at all. If there is one slight disagreement on an issue after you have agreed on three or four other issues, it is no big deal at all. Just use common sense.

If you see an NRA sticker on the neighbor's car or truck, gun control probably should not be the main topic of conversation. Likewise, if you see a Romney/Ryan sticker on their vehicle, you may want to avoid talk of the recent election results if possible.

I would just have a "go to subject" ready to talk about when if the politics talk starts to get heated...like "I hear such an such pub is really fun on St. Patrick's Day" or "Did you see the Gophers basketball team win over # 1 Indiana yesterday?" and there is always the weather as several others mentioned!

[kuan]

How to Speak Minnesotan

[sparksals]

Originally Posted by golfgal

I suggested you look outside of your neighborhood and you shot down every suggestion I made because you "don't like to do that". It's not them, it's you when you refuse to join a church, a club, go to events at the schools, etc., etc., etc.

Since when did I refuse to do anything? I joined a social group and made many friends. I'd like to see quotes where I said "I don't like to do that". From the reputation comments I got on my post above, many agreed with me.

Refusing to join a church is a personal decision that never should be admonished. I joined plenty of clubs and have lots of friends. We don't have kids, so no need to go to events at schools. We are not going to go to activities in which we don't have anything in common with the attendees. You really think a couple with 3 elementary aged kids would want to meet a middle aged child free couple with dogs? There is nothing in common there. Shame on us for wanting to meet people with whom we have things in common!

Just because your suggestions did not suit our lifestyle doesn't mean we sat here and did nothing, expecting people to come to us. We tried VERY hard just like your parents did and found many groups with people of similar interests.

We tried with our neighbours, had luck with 2 out of 10 of them. Our neighbours sound exactly like the experience your parents had. Love your double standard.

The problem is you refuse to see that perfect old Rosemount isn't all that perfect for everyone, just like wherever in KS your parents are. Time to take off those rose coloured glasses.