Is It Really That Hard to Make Friends in Minnesota? (to eat, friendly)

[xandrex]

Northwest Wisconsin is pretty much Minnesota...except with more Packers fans.

[knke0204]

I have tons of friends, but again I'm not an intravert.

[rcsteiner]

Originally Posted by knke0204

I have tons of friends, but again I'm not an intravert.

I've always been an INFJ according to Myers-Briggs, but I have a ton of friends up there. I have a lot of friends down here as well, but mostly because of my wife.

[knke0204]

Originally Posted by rcsteiner

I've always been an INFJ according to Myers-Briggs, but I have a ton of friends up there. I have a lot of friends down here as well, but mostly because of my wife.

I didn't mean to be offensive, I just take pride in going out of my way to meet people. It isn't easy, but I try hard. And I have enough friends to maintain a healthy social life.

[rcsteiner]

Originally Posted by knke0204

I didn't mean to be offensive, I just take pride in going out of my way to meet people. It isn't easy, but I try hard. And I have enough friends to maintain a healthy social life.

I'm not offended at all. Since I don't see a need to extend myself in that way most of the time, I don't. As I said, I have someone to do that for me.

[FrugalFinn]

Being a Native Finnish Minnesotan of 44 yrs who has traveled throughout the United States, I believe it is equally easy or difficult to make friends where ever you go, depending on your own personality. One's heritage as mentioned above is not relevant, although living where I do in the Northern part of my State those of Finnish descent were not made very welcome in the beginning, as they were credited with stirring up labor issues in the early 1900's. (Stoic? Not when it comes to important issues.)

Our picturesque State is a melting pot of diverse ethnic backgrounds. I am a social person and make friends easily with anyone who is receptive to a warm smile and firm handshake. Socializing is a big part of my community 0n the iron Range. There is always some sort of function to attend, even in the Winter months. If you enjoy sledding and ice fishing, this is the place to be.

Lutefisk is optional, though if prepared correctly is a tasty dish. Give Minnesota a try!

[GraceDM]

Originally Posted by kuan

Is your boat worth more than your car?

Do you frequently wonder what's South of the Twincities?

Have you heard of Betty's Pies?

Can you pretend to love lutefisk?

Is a sweater considered fancy dress for you?

Is disconnecting your battery and bringing it in the house considered a daily chore for you?

Do you still call the local paper the Star and Tribune, or your utility provider Minnegasco?

Can you properly pronouce Wayzata?

If you've answered yes to at least five of the above questions, then I'd say yes, you'd fit in just fine.

I can answer yes to all of your questions except the boat.
I don't fit in because I'm not Swedish. If you live North of the Cities, you'd better be a Swede.

After living here more than ten years, every "friend" I have made has been great as long as you can always be friendly, never mind when someone just drops by and don't think it's unbelievably rude to ask to borrow your new car.

Someone said if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.
In Minnesota, that saying needs to be updated to if you don't have anything nice to say about someone, wait till they leave the room.

I have lived in five states and this is the shallowest of them all. It's really a shame too because it is a beautiful place. I've just been used a time or two too many. Go to NY, you will know exactly how the people feel about you.

[west336]

I think people are cowards in every state I've been to.....they just show it in different ways. If you go to the Northeast and you like how "blunt" they are, they'll take advantage of this and perceive it as being tough, which it completely isn't. I can't stand being in a place where everybody thinks they are tough! In Minnesota, people smile, give some passive-aggressive remark, and then talk behind your back. Is this worse than speaking with somebody who's always on the verge of a physical confrontation (whether they actually WANT to be physical or not)? I don't know. I think both are shallow and cowardly.

As for making friends, I've come to the conclusion that it really depends most on your life circumstances. I am a father and husband and moved to Cleveland recently. I have not made what I'd call a "friend" (somebody who calls me and I call them or hang out) since I've lived here. But then again, I haven't even considered it as something I should do because my life is SO busy right now and I don't have much time for friends. When I was younger (and single and kidless) I needed more attention and I actively thought about having friendships, making new friends, meeting people, etc., and as a consequence.....I made friends. I think it can be tougher in Minnesota if you are trying to meet a person like me who is already super busy, or another Minnesotan who has lots of friends and doesn't "need" your friendship, per se, but that does not mean it's impossible. I have YET to live in a place where my neighbors come over and invite me to their house for dinner because I am new to the neighborhood. If you expect this, then you'll find that you'll be miserable almost everywhere you go. On the flipside, some people are so paranoid that if you invited them over for dinner or wanted to hang out, they'd honestly be thinking "what do they want from me?", or "what's the catch?".....ESPECIALLY in a bigger city, and as you get older and further removed from those social circles you frequent so much when you're younger.

I KNOW that if I want to make an earnest attempt at finding a friend here (or anywhere I go), I have to be the one to reach out and take that "leap of faith" (that I may be "rejected" if somebody doesn't want to be my friend). I know that the easiest way to make a friend at this stage in my life is to join a social group or club. For me, that means something like softball, bowling, or something along those lines. My advice would be not to expect somebody to "save you" from your loneliness; instead, make a concerted effort.

[GraceDM]

I agree with that for the parts about just trying to make friends.

In Minnesota, I've seen something else which has really ruined my love for this place and I do love it.
I have seen it happen to so many others and I have experienced it myself. You meet someone, through work or church, know them as friends for several years ( one guy I know grew up with his "friend") and yes, they will help you snow plow or get you if you are stuck. They will also betray your confidence so easily and the worst part I have seen so many times is they will say and do anything to get ahead at work. In my case, I was a Supervisor. I had so many come to me to complain about their "friends". I have seen so much back-stabbing, it just really turned ne off to the people here.

It would be a completely different matter if it was one here and there but it was entirely too frequent. I do not believe a large majority of people that live in the Northern areas of Minnesota know how to be a loyal friend. It just sickens me. Some of these people are church people and I did expect more.

As a result, I stay with some of the most loyal friends I have, my dogs.

[west336]

Originally Posted by GraceDM

I agree with that for the parts about just trying to make friends.

In Minnesota, I've seen something else which has really ruined my love for this place and I do love it.
I have seen it happen to so many others and I have experienced it myself. You meet someone, through work or church, know them as friends for several years ( one guy I know grew up with his "friend") and yes, they will help you snow plow or get you if you are stuck. They will also betray your confidence so easily and the worst part I have seen so many times is they will say and do anything to get ahead at work. In my case, I was a Supervisor. I had so many come to me to complain about their "friends". I have seen so much back-stabbing, it just really turned ne off to the people here.

It would be a completely different matter if it was one here and there but it was entirely too frequent. I do not believe a large majority of people that live in the Northern areas of Minnesota know how to be a loyal friend. It just sickens me. Some of these people are church people and I did expect more.

As a result, I stay with some of the most loyal friends I have, my dogs.

I DO know what you are talking about! I wasn't sure if that was a MN thing or a corporate thing.....still don't, in fact. Loyalty is a major issue for a LOT LOT LOT of people though, and I have friends all over the country. I consider myself to be BY FAR the most loyal person of the bunch, followed by my friend Lee, who hails from China, so he's not technically Minnesotan, but then again, I might not be either (parents aren't from there). I couldn't continue to work that way either, but I found that wasn't as prevalent in offices where the people were older/more mature. It was commonplace at the younger, just-out-of-college workplaces. So avoid places like Target, Best Buy, etc. if you want to trust your friends' loyalty!