Olive Branch/Southaven: Problems w/ Religionists? (Memphis: house, transfer, neighborhoods)

[PascoDoug]

Originally Posted by 00FXDL

In the process of moving to Mississippi

Ehh.. why?

[PascoDoug]

Originally Posted by NoHometoCallMyOwn

Obviously he's trolling.

Nope. I am In fact a troll-killer.

And I have no problem calling a spade a spade.

[NoHometoCallMyOwn]

Originally Posted by PascoDoug

Nope. I am In fact a troll-killer.

And I have no problem calling a spade a spade.

I would like to call this exchange like I see it too, but I know better. "wink" "wink"

[PascoDoug]

Originally Posted by NoHometoCallMyOwn

I would like to call this exchange like I see it too, but I know better. "wink" "wink"

Good boy

[muaddib]

Originally Posted by Orleron

Well I guess that answers my question!

There was no rudeness or arrogance intended, but I can definitely sense the difference in cultures.... such a statement would have never been interpreted negatively in a northeastern forum.

Thanks for the help.

It takes all kinds. I don't see that there are any problems with "religionists". The more pushy religious people I have met will almost always take no for an answer. We may be in the bible belt, but that doesn't mean you are unwelcome if you aren't southern Baptist.

[jsherman9901]

Originally Posted by muaddib

We may be in the bible belt, but that doesn't mean you are unwelcome if you aren't southern Baptist.

I once lived in a city in another state where people would not do business with any merchant who did not go to *their* Baptist church. Pretty sad. Thankfully I have not encountered attitudes like that in Mississippi.

[Mr. Mudd]

ORLERON:

I have lived in this part of the country for 25 years. Yes, it's in the Bible Belt. But I wouldn't let that be a concern. You may get your occasional "visitor" but like an earlier poster said they'll leave you alone once they understand you're not interested. I actually live in Germantown, TN. But the whole Memphis Metro area (including De Soto County) is comprised of transplants from all over the country. You'll find a lot of people like yourself - sectarian "Yankees" - mixed in with "religionists". I put myself in your category and I'm rarely bothered by religious fanatics. Have you visited this part of the country yet? If not, now is a good time - in the heat (and humidity) of the summer. If you can tolerate the weather in the summer you'll probably be OK. I'd suggest you look at Germantown or Collierville too. Home prices may be a little higher (along with taxes) but probably compared to where you're from they will seem like real bargains.
And with regards to "Brother Sherwyn's" remark "...BECAUSE PEOPLE DOWN HERE ARE FRIENDLIER THAN PEOPLE UP THERE." His intolerance towards Yankees is showing through. I've been all over this country including many northern cities and I have found the people up there to be as friendly there as anywhere.

[Orleron]

Mr. Mudd, thank you very much for the helpful post.

We will also be looking in the Germantown/Collierville area. The house prices down there are amazing. Things that cost $500 to $600k up here cost about $250k down there. We're having a field day looking at houses, because we're so used to being oppressed by the outrageous housing costs in NJ.

It is comforting to hear that there are enough transplants in the area so that we won't feel like total foreigners, and that by and large the locals are not hostile towards us yanks, or discriminatory against non-religious folk.

It's really a cultural thing, and it's the one thing that worries me. In NJ, asking someone what religion they are is offensive. You insult them by doing so. Where I come from, religion is like underwear. We know you got it and that's ok, but we don't want to see it in public. I hear that down there it's a commonplace thing to ask about religion. I'll have to try hard not to cop the NJ attitude and to figure out a way to nicely explain that it is not their concern.

Thanks again.

[aiangel_writer]

Orleron,

Hi, and hopefully welcome to the South, a place of Southern Hospitality for the most part.

I just wanted to comment on these threads. Southerners are a very hospitable people, and enjoy to talk. You will find our culture a bit different than the Northern culture. Now, I am not bashing your culture, I have lived in the North and can honestly see the difference, not bad, but different.

Southerners are nosy, that is fact one. It is not a mean noseyness, just how people around here are. They will want to learn your life history, and are simply curious. If you come across as secretative or haughty, they will talk even more as their feelings have been hurt. Many of the older sect have not traveled far from thier homes, and know just about anyone and everyone in their community. Desoto county has grown quite a bit in recent years and has changed a bit in this regard.

What I am trying to say is, come here with an open mind, and not be on the defensive. You will find charming people, ready to help you at the drop of a hat. If you don't bring up your lack of belief and don't make a big deal out of them telling you what churches are where, you will find they will not bother you with this.

I live in the small community where I grew up, but had moved around a lot during my younger teen years. I came back for the sense of community and wellbeing I felt when I left my home for extended periods of time. Neighbors will keep an eye on my place, on my children if they see them walking to the store etc. I like this, it gives me a sense of protection for my kids and for my property. I don't go to church anymore, the church I was raised in is less than 1/4 mile from my home, but no one has asked me why.

I feel if you come down here with an open mind, and no hostility from things you might have heard, you will find the people and Southern culture to your liking.

Think of it this way, if a Southerner came up there to your home town, street, and tried to force their views in a hostile way upon you, you would get your back up immediately and rightly so. Same thing down here.

Give 'em a chance, and you will be surprised. We are not the backwards people we have been portrayed to be. Now, saying that, yes, you will run into some jerks, but I do believe one can run into jerks anywhere in this country.

I hope you find a great home and community that will welcome you and your family.

[mjpinto]

HI Orleron,

aiangel_writer makes some really great points.

I completley understand where you are coming from. You have heard all of these "things" about Southern culture and you are wondering if you are going to feel like you will have to wear your spiritual choice like a t-shirt.

I am a "Yankee" (born and raised in Philly) and had a very difficult time getting along when I lived in Atlanta after I got married. It alwyas threw me when the first thing a person asked me was "What church do you belong to?" That makes for an unsettling situation for people who are not used to or comfortable being so open about their personal beliefs.

Southern culture is just very different than Northeastern culture. It's quite interesting actually. As a stereotype - Southerners think all "yankees" are rude and arrogant. But most of us "Yankees" think Southerers are being intrusive when blatently asking about our reilgious beliefs. Obviously this is a generalization and doesn't apply to everyone - not even most people. But we all know that there are backwards stereotypes about most groups that are different than our own that have come up in one conversation or another in our lives.

In the south it seems that religion is a way of life. But where I'm from - its something that is private. If you want to share it with otheres - you do so at Sunday mass and that's it. It's not "out there" on a daily basis. And that's o.k. A person is still kind and "good" whether they discuss their spiritual beliefs or not.

I am back in the NE now- NH to be exact and I feel very comfortable here because I am accustomed the culture here. We are soon moving back down south - to the Memphis area. I have had a lot of time to philiosophize about being a transplanted northerner in the south again.

My conclusion - its all what you make of it. Have a positive attitude. Don't be on the lookout for the big religion questions. And if they are asked - don't be offended. It's not the people - it's the culture that is different. Once people realize that religion is not your thing - they will let it drop. And those that won't associate with you because religion isn't your thing - well - you don't want to associate with people like that anyway.

I am shaking off the experiences I had in GA of being treated differently because I'm a "yankee" (took me a while to realize that that wasn't a reference to baseball - LOL!) or because the color of my skin. Remember - there are rude and ignorant people all over the country. It all depends on what kind of rudeness/ignorance you are accsutomed to. For example - I would think nothing of someone cutting me off in traffic, cursing me out and giving me the finger. That kind of rudeness is very prevalent where I grew up. But someone shunning me becuase the color of my skin - well - each time I experienced that - it felt so weird and insulting. I have a friend who was born and raised in New Orleans who now lives in NH and she thinks that's nothing. "It's just the way it is - you get used to it." Yet she thinks the people in New Hampshire are unfriendly and kind of rude. Go figure.

A Northerner can be happy and find friends in the South. With the right attitude. People are who they are - wherever you live. You don't have to change - nor do your children - just because you are living in an area with religious ways you don't endorse. Use it as a teaching tool - life lesson - "to each his own", etc.

We have two young children and are well aware that religious influences are stronger in southern culture than within the culture I was raised. We hope to help them to understan that everybody has different beliefs. It's their own right to practice those beliefs in any legal way they chose. And just because someone else believes it - doesn't mean it's right or wrong - it just is.

Good luck! The south really is beautiful. You can't beat the housing prices. And if you can stand the humid summers - you'll be fine. Be positive - it will work if you want it to.

Originally Posted by Orleron

Mr. Mudd, thank you very much for the helpful post.

We will also be looking in the Germantown/Collierville area. The house prices down there are amazing. Things that cost $500 to $600k up here cost about $250k down there. We're having a field day looking at houses, because we're so used to being oppressed by the outrageous housing costs in NJ.

It is comforting to hear that there are enough transplants in the area so that we won't feel like total foreigners, and that by and large the locals are not hostile towards us yanks, or discriminatory against non-religious folk.

It's really a cultural thing, and it's the one thing that worries me. In NJ, asking someone what religion they are is offensive. You insult them by doing so. Where I come from, religion is like underwear. We know you got it and that's ok, but we don't want to see it in public. I hear that down there it's a commonplace thing to ask about religion. I'll have to try hard not to cop the NJ attitude and to figure out a way to nicely explain that it is not their concern.

Thanks again.