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Old 11-20-2022, 05:02 PM
 
Location: Southern California
533 posts, read 695,765 times
Reputation: 1730

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Frostnip View Post
I mean...what matters most is a person's intent, not the specific words. But "mammy" is pretty well-known as a troublesome term at this point, kinda makes you wonder what rock a person has been living under if they genuinely don't know that.
Ms. Bassett never intended to hurt anyone's feelings.

I always referred to my father as daddy. Daddy this, daddy that, all the live long day! Called him daddy until the day he died. However, my father always called his parents by their first names. So naturally since daddy called his parents Nora and Gordon, at around age five I figured it was a good idea and decided to call my grandparents Nora and Gordon. Only once! I was told in no uncertain terms that it was disrespectful to call my grandparents by their first names and that it hurt their feelings! I never called them Nora and Gordon again.

The Greek kids in the neighborhood called their grandmother yah yah. Or ya ya? And my cousins in MN always had to address their great-grandmother as bestemore which is Grandmother in Norwegian. She was a monster.

My friend's step-granddaughters called their grandfather pampox. We found this to be rather peculiar and neither of us had ever heard that term used before. They were three and five yrs of age. We thought it was odd, but no one ever objected. Pampox didn't care. Like Frostnip said, what matters is the person's intent.
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Old 12-11-2022, 03:14 PM
 
1,200 posts, read 1,501,678 times
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We certainly don't know Barbie's intent. I, for one, don't consider this a racial term, but more of a "white trash" term that preteen boys would use as a humorous, yet slightly derogatory way to refer to, or insult someone's mother.

I can only guess Barbie thought she was using it in a cutesy/down-home/folksy manner, but, as she has decades of on-air broadcast experience, she should have known better.
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Old 12-14-2022, 06:54 PM
 
Location: PNW, CPSouth, JacksonHole, Southampton
3,586 posts, read 5,213,007 times
Reputation: 14205
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seadory View Post
Ms. Bassett never intended to hurt anyone's feelings.

I always referred to my father as daddy. Daddy this, daddy that, all the live long day! Called him daddy until the day he died. However, my father always called his parents by their first names. So naturally since daddy called his parents Nora and Gordon, at around age five I figured it was a good idea and decided to call my grandparents Nora and Gordon. Only once! I was told in no uncertain terms that it was disrespectful to call my grandparents by their first names and that it hurt their feelings! I never called them Nora and Gordon again.

The Greek kids in the neighborhood called their grandmother yah yah. Or ya ya? And my cousins in MN always had to address their great-grandmother as Bestemore which is Grandmother in Norwegian. She was a monster.

My friend's step-granddaughters called their grandfather Pampox. We found this to be rather peculiar and neither of us had ever heard that term used before. They were three and five yrs of age. We thought it was odd, but no one ever objected. Pampox didn't care. Like Frostnip said, what matters is the person's intent.
Please forgive my delayed reply, dear Seadory!

'Daddy' has a pleasant ring to it. And it's traditional among Old Stock Americans (which includes most Southerners). Even the three-letter variant, which I consider an obscenity, sounds OK, when the English say it. They say it without the ugly 'A' sound which prevails here. Instead, it rhymes with 'Dodd', or 'Odd', or has an even softer "Ah" sound. But the hideous screeching American version, with that ugly 'A' sound you hear in 'Rasp', 'Scratch', and 'Acid' - only more sustained and grating - well... hearing it, makes me want to jump out of my skin.

I adore 'Bestemore'! It summons images of ladies with their hair in buns, cooking things containing cinnamon and butter, in immaculate Norwegian kitchens - their every move overseen by adoring Skogkatts. And 'Pampox' sounds wonderful, too. If I were a powerful Demon, I'd want to be named that. But it also sounds suitably patriarchal.

Our children have quite a few names for us. Luckily, they could draw upon Yiddish, Hebrew, Italian, Sicilian, German, French, and Russian. And then, there are the "socialite" names the kids in our circle have gleaned from movies like 'Auntie Mame'. All those names, and their various variants, the children use according to whim, setting, and intent.

So, you can imagine them using that name Barbie Bassett used, if they wanted to get a dig in at somebody. Probably, they'd use it, to parody someone who was being disingenuously folksy - like Barbie was attempting to be, when SHE blurted-out that unfortunate term.
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Old 12-16-2022, 01:16 PM
 
Location: Southern California
533 posts, read 695,765 times
Reputation: 1730
Thank you GG! Daddy does have a pleasant ring to it doesn't it? Whenever my friend Cynthia was angry at her husband Richard, he would say to her, "Come sit on daddy's lap and gimme some sugar." It worked like a charm. Every time. Who doesn't like a little sugar? And he looked like Jon Hamm!

Anyway, maybe Ms. Bassett should take a page from Richard's playbook and at the next office meeting and, in her most provocative come-hither voice, invite the Big Boss to "Come sit on mama's lap and gimme some sugar." Bassett should then point out that she did not use the word "grandmammy" adding that she has learned the error of her ways and that she should be reinstated immediately. She should repeat the phrase twice just to make everyone heard her then wink and make kissing noises.

After all, the holiday season is the perfect time to mend fences, spread good cheer, and stand under the mistletoe. Unless some old fuddy-duddy feels violated and complains to Human Resources.
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Old 12-16-2022, 04:56 PM
 
1,292 posts, read 753,984 times
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Perhaps I've been out of the south for too long as the expression "gimme some sugar" makes me cringe. But then it made me cringe when i lived in the south.

So many southerners pronounce Daddy as "Deddy".

No fond memories of the south for me which influences my feelings toward southern expressions.

My husband and I are "Mom" and "Dad" and it doesn't sound harsh to our ears at all.

Always found it interesting how my childhood friends shifted from "Mama" to "Mother" as they grew older.
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Old 12-16-2022, 10:15 PM
 
1,200 posts, read 1,501,678 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Seadory View Post
Bassett should then point out that she did not use the word "grandmammy" adding that she has learned the error of her ways and that she should be reinstated immediately..
Barbie is back on WLBT and has been for some time.
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Old 12-17-2022, 02:13 PM
 
Location: Southern California
533 posts, read 695,765 times
Reputation: 1730
Quote:
Originally Posted by viverlibre View Post
Barbie is back on WLBT and has been for some time.
Glad she is back. The unpleasant scenario described in my post was meant to illustrate wildly inappropriate workplace behavior that should result in termination or at least psychiatric evaluation. What Barbie Bassett said was jarring, but she did not intend to offend or make anyone uncomfortable.
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Old 12-17-2022, 07:39 PM
 
Location: PNW, CPSouth, JacksonHole, Southampton
3,586 posts, read 5,213,007 times
Reputation: 14205
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seadory View Post
Glad she is back. The unpleasant scenario described in my post was meant to illustrate wildly inappropriate workplace behavior that should result in termination or at least psychiatric evaluation. What Barbie Bassett said was jarring, but she did not intend to offend or make anyone uncomfortable.
Well-said, Seadory! You've illustrated what, in a sane world, would/should constitute actionable speech and behavior. If only we still lived in a sane world...

I've been trying to find a video of that Morning Show, partly to see it for myself, and partly to explain it to others. All morning long, according to Dowager Soybean Empress (who sometimes has to keep an eye on the screen, to see where the tornadoes are) Barbie, and a bunch of other TV personalities, have to stand at a long neon-lit news desk thingie, and say cute things.

There's apparently a White Trash Coffee Culture, in Mississippi. I'm definitely trash. But I'm not white. So I'm not sure. It involves huddling over "Kaaaawfeh", probably loud sipping, and those awful "aaaaaah" noises between sips, and feeble 'Frustration Humor'. I think I've interrupted some of those huddlings, during early-morning visits to apartments I've owned. My first office, on my own, was in an office condo, where there was an ear-splittingly-loud Redneck prisspot decorator. Rednecks (who, in Mississippi, are generally affluent and educated) despise White Trash (the social class directly beneath 'Redneck') (HL Mencken, whom a CityData member suggested I read, explained all of this, and so these distinctions appear to have been codified for over a century). I overheard the 'Licensed Interior Designer', who had no volume control, screaming to somebody about some White Trash woman from the Chamber of Commerce, who was trying to recruit the decorator. "Kaaaawfeh! Kaaaaawfeh! Wuuuuuae gee-yit tigethurrrrrr fur kaaaaaaaaawfeh! That was her ONLY selling point. Kaaaaaaaawfeh! If that woman had said 'coffee' one more time, I was prepared to slap-her-NEKKID!"

For us, in recent decades, mornings begin when whoever's manning the phone system, starts sending calls to us. I run to a little fridge, for the iced tea pitcher, pour that, and seltzer, into glasses, and deal with a few calls. Then we head into the shower, and... https://lesritamitsouko.bandcamp.com...n-the-shower-1 Then, I chug more Green-Tea-&-Seltzer (popping a No-Doz, for reinforcement), and head for a cardio machine in his wardrobe room, or one of the ones in mine - at which point I'm wearing a headset and taking calls, or playing on a laptop, doing CityData. I used to put on a few big rocks (gaudy rings I'd never wear, except at the breakfast table), and head down to the Breakfast Room, to see how many FWBs had slept-over with our sons (we have BIG breakfast tables...) These days, maintaining a 22-hour Fasting Window, I don't do breakfast - or lunch. But there was no banter in the Breakfast Room. The girls were all dealing with calls from THEIR offices, and mostly texted quietly - mewing with contentment, as they inhaled the buttery puff pastry the boys used to love making, until we all "went Keto". Sigh... Those were the days.

Hmmmmm... A designer I know, was helping a politician with a third-home, in a place where there was a good vacation rental market. "As many Hollywood people as come here, this shower needs to fit at least two people, and have heads on opposite walls - four, ideally. You KNOW who comes here." The politician was incensed to think that anyone ever considered such vile possibilities, in such a Christian community. But the shower got fitted-out as recommended, and the house stayed rented, at top-Dollar, for one entire season, by a Televangelist, a Country star, and a bar mogul. Hopefully, the stained glass bathroom window was the only light in there, 'cause those guys were well past their prime... But anyway, that's how to start your morning, with or without assistants and/or groupies and masseurs or church secretaries or whatever, to wash your back. But not everybody has a gang shower lined in Rainforest Quartzite. And so maybe those people need to watch Barbie Bassett chat with the News Anchors.

There's a gym, out in the boonies in Madison County, which is pretty good (and which kept its Covid hysteria to a minimum, during the "crisis"). Several of the metro's most spectacular men ended up there ("Even the guy who looks exactly like that Johnny Bravo cartoon character: you know, the one who looks like he can't possibly be real."), after UMMC finished murdering 'The Courthouse Racquetball/Healthplex', on the other side of the metro. Residents of another state, who've kept their membership, to use during visits to the home they've kept in Madison (and among many people sickened by the odor of coffee), were celebrating the disappearance of "The Keurig Machine". There used to be a machine for making those instant coffee whatever thingies. But there was a group of retired White Trash men, who got free memberships, somehow. They'd congregate at the front of the gym, hogging the lobby area, and have "Kawwwwwwwwwwwwfeh", all-morning-long, laughing and joking and stinking-up the place with coffee stench. They didn't exercise. They just "drank kaaaawwwwwwwfeh". They were about to bankrupt the little gym, drinking-up all the Keurig. And their banter was distracting and irritating those actually there to lift weights (robotics experts, and med specialists, winding-down after night shifts).

Apparently, 'The Morning Show' addresses the need to huddle and waste time, for those without huddlemates. Then again, my memory of the ONLY time I attempted an early-morning workout at the Courthouse, was marred by a gaggle of "Kaaaaaawfeh" WT types, who turned the TVs up full-volume watching 'Good Morning America' or something. Maybe, they were watching the very show on which Barbie said, "that word!" I never went back, in the morning. I had been warned, in advance, by others who found the gym unusable, because of those 'Coffee Culture' types and their noise.

Barbie was trying to sound like one of those people, I'm guessing. How DOES one stand there, laughing and making pointless pleasantries, for hours and hours? I'm sure she was desperate to find another homespun-&-hilarious thing to say, and was just "riffing" with whatever flow was going at that moment - and out came that word - a word she probably remembered from L'il Abner or Tobacco Road, or maybe something her own great-grandmother was called- probably forgetting that the person to whom she was speaking, was (technically, at least) a member of a protected minority, while Barbie, herself, is perceived as 'White' (I, and several other Native Americans are guessing she's one of us). There's a whole calculus involved, these days.

Last edited by GrandviewGloria; 12-17-2022 at 08:24 PM..
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