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I dunno. It's "fair" to want to see oneself get rewarded for doing everything right, and just as "fair" for one to expect that someone be punished for doing everything wrong.
Unfortunately, in today's world, all the kids on the team get the same size trophies, no matter how hard they tried - or if they never showed up for practice. There is no reward for doing the right thing, just as there is no retribution for doing the wrong thing. This is called equality. It also dampens the spirit and makes people feel "What's the POINT?" of doing things 'right'.
The only satisfaction one gets from doing the right things is that sooner or later, down the road, you will be vindicated and justified, and your friend will probably come to you asking you to bail her out. Will you "do the right thing" and bail her out - or will you tell her to p*** up a rope and leave her to her fate?
I told my "friend" to p*** up a rope. And feel much better now. She found someone else to live off of. And that is a truism too - there's one born every minute, and two others to take cheerful advantage of him!
I think people use that word to casually today. I have many acquaintances, who I am polite to, and helpful to within the strict bounds of our relationship (will help them at work for the good of the team, will accept a package for them for the good of the security of our neighborhood)..
But they are not FRIENDS. I would not loan them $500.00. I would feel neither happy nor sad if I watched them move in the middle of the night.
Friends - I would feel sad for and would try to HELP. I would not sit back and secretly wish that their life were actually worse. That's warped, and perhaps that type of feeling is a lot of what is wrong with the world today.
Clearly - woman who turned over house to bank seems a bit of a deadbeat - but I think wishing punishment upon her is a bit draconian.
Also - who the heck told anyone life was Fair?
I believe one of my parents most oft quoted lines was "Tough Rocks, Life isn't always fair".
You do right because it is right. Not because you want someone to hand you a cookie and pat your head and tell you how good you are.
Sorry I didn't realize there had been so many postings on this, otherwise I would have replied sooner.
Just for clarification...I love my friend dearly. We have been friends for many years and we were both poor college students working our way through an expensive education. I am not jealous of anything she has nor is she jealous of me. We both will always be connected through our shared experiences but we chose different life paths.
By "punishment" I didn't mean jail or anything horrible. I just wanted something like a "sorry ma'am, but you were denied a credit card from Target."
Sigh, they don't get punished we do. We get to pay to take care of them when they run out of money.
I don't mind helpling people who really need help but resent folks who squander money like no tommorow then expect a leg up when the get in trouble. Many memories of being young and squeezing pennies at the grocery store and buying beans and watching the poorer folks get steaks and Breyers .............................
As someone who is going to be getting into the housing market soon (with a 20% down payment which I have been saving for for about 6 years), I am curious to know what the punishment is for people who just "walk away" from their houses. Currently, I am renting and there are 3 homes nearby that I watched the owners get a moving van, take their stuff, and a few weeks later, there is a big orange paper on the door that says "bank owned."
The reason I am asking is because I have been sacrificing for years to get enough for a down payment. I have one credit card that is paid off every month and have excellent credit. I went out with a friend of mine who let her house get foreclosed on about 4 months ago and when we were in Target, she applied for a credit card and was accepted. She currently has about 7 credit cards that are maxed out and I was shocked to see her get approved for another one. If people like my friend are not being punished for her immature behavior, what is the incentive for others like her to be responsible?
She may have a credit card.. but you have no idea what interest rate she's paying.
all my cards are paid on time.. but I have an ARM I cna't afford (I put money down, money in and didnt lie about my income.. nor did I have a really low teaser rate).. and all my credit cards, because of the foreclosure pending (I"m trying to short sell) my interest rates are barely legal.. almost up to 30% on those existing cards.. INSANE
Of course..now that I'm not paying a mortgage.. I'm getting rid of the now high interest balance on those credit cards (it's not many or much on cards though).
And I'll keep those with no balance.. and wont apply for more.. nor use them.. rent, rebuild and start all over again in a few years.
I totally get what you are talking about. It does suck to see people doing stupid things. I see it daily here at work. I own my own business, have worked my sweet rear end off for 18 years, have no family here to help me out and pay my bills on time. I have bought 4 homes putting down 20% on each one.
A guy that works for me, bought at the height of the market, put no money down, got 106% financing, got the mortgage in only his name, kicked his wife out, ran up at least $50,000 in credit cards, had $15,000 in tooth work done.
Now he is crying, probably foreclosing, and cannot make ends meat. Oh but he called me last week and told me his auto loan company would be calling me as he wanted to get a new car before his credit is totally ruined.
Oh yes, also he wants to get the $15,000 back that he put into the home.
Meanwhile, I am still working 50-60 hours a week, not taking any vacations, not buying anything major, driving a 5 year old car, dh drives a 8 year old car.
For the OP - I am glad that you didn't really mean "punishment" -- you really meant "consequences". The consequences are, as has been pointed out, that when the walk-away/foreclosure hits your friends credit report - she will have reduced purchasing power and likely punitive interest rates.
Sorry your friend appears to have been irresponsible. Happy that this is indeed your friend and you are not wishing ill upon her.
I think it is really short-sighted of you to focus on your friend's situation and assume that this is the case for ALL foreclosures / so-called deadbeats. For the most part, many of these individuals and families, through no fault of their own, have lost their jobs, been inflicted with a horrible illness that their useless (and profit-hungry-machine) insurance company would not cover and/or a list of other circumstances which lead to their unfortunate situation.
True, there are people out there as you described. But, for the most part, I am optimistic and give people more credit. Sometimes, "sheyt" happens and one must bight the bullet and struggle to regain their good credit.
As another post mentioned, the beauty of this never ending cycle is that it gives many of us an opprtunity to once again make money and/or buy a wonderful property at a bargain.
Be more forgiving and don't assume the worst in people ... It is only a reflection of your own biases and insecurities.
Lets not be too harsh on the OP, we all know she did not have any evil scheme in her mind to inflict any horrible punishment on her "friend".
To the OP....
I can feel for you as I also had similar thoughts, but not towards a single individual but the entire financial mess in general, when the bank was asking me document after document to even pre-qual me.... and just a while back they were issuing no-doc loans left right and center to anyone who could make it to their office....
You are living in a country whose 60% GDP comes from consumer spending. In such a scenario, why would Target not issue her another card ? As far as punishment goes.... we have already forced a brutal punishment on our children and their children. Unfortunately our standard of living is going to be better than that of future generations.
I have never understood how people get new housing after they walk away from the house they own, or their house goes into foreclosure. Surely they can't apply for another home loan any time soon, and wouldn't it be hard to get a rental because you now have bad credit?
I rented an apartment for six months before buying my current house and had to go through a rigorous credit and backgound check.
Yet, I see houses being abandoned where I am - just wondering where do these families go to live? Campgrounds?
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