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What if you like a place, make an offer (have no idea how this done, besides--I see people refer to "writing" an offer--do you actually write it down? Is there a form?) and then you apply for the mortgage and you get turned down? You go back to the person selling the house and say that you're sorry but they refused to give you a mortgage?
I've gotten a pre-approval and I told them everything, but it seems as if there's so much that can go wrong.
The first step ought to be getting a lender to pre-approve you. Sounds like you did that. The next step is what it sounds like you need to do -- I strongly recommend contacting a real estate agent to represent you, ideally you at least call three or more BEFORE you visit ANY homes. If you have already seen a house and you have told the listing agent that you don't have anyone that you're working with, a good agent should have no problem if you come back with your own agent. To get an agent to represent you it may be smart to let the one that strikes you as best at sticking up for your interest know that you have narrowed down your list of properties to one in particular that you've seen.
Your agent can then LITERALLY write an offer that your agent will present to the seller's agent. In most states there is a 'standard' form, but your agent may prefer to use something that they generate from a computer template. That offer should have plenty of contingencies so that you can have the place inspected, get the kind of financing you need, have the contract reviewed by an attorney and everything else that ensure 'nothing goes wrong'.
it may sound a little involved, but it very straightforward. The odds of an honest lender that did a thorough job of pre-approving you NOT coming through with a mortgage are slim, but the contingency exists to let you off the hook - further most contracts will be written so that the SELLER can help locate a lender that will finance your purchase.
It isn't as difficult as what you might think. Since you have been preapproved, the next step is to get a realtor and house shop. Once you find a house you would like to buy, you offer to buy it with a written contract offer. The seller can accept your offer or come back with a counter offer, thus you are now in negotiations.
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