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09-15-2011, 11:31 AM
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Location: Crooklyn, New York
30,119 posts, read 30,703,723 times
Reputation: 13176
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I have quite a few:
"The sound of your **** hitting the toilet sounds feminine. If I were a lion, and you were a tuna, I'd go out of my food chain to eat you. And then I'd bang your tuna girlfriend!"
-The Other Guys
"OK, first off: a lion, swimming in the ocean? Lions don’t like water. If you placed it near a river or some sort of fresh water source, that makes sense. But you find yourself in the ocean, 20 foot wave, I’m assuming off the coast of South Africa, coming up against a full grown 800 pound tuna with his 20 or 30 friends, you lose that battle, you lose that battle 9 times out of 10. We will construct a system of breathing apparati. We may not have days, maybe hours. We will hunt you down and corner your pride and then WE...WILL...HAVE OURSELVES...A....TASTE...OF...LION!!! We've communicated and you know what we've said. We've said 'Lion tastes good!' You've been outgunned and outmanned! Bet you didn't see it going down like that, did ya?"
-The Other Guys
"I know you're feeling down, Rick. But look, one time, I got kicked in the balls by a mule. My balls hurt so bad I thought they'd never stop hurting. But then the next week, my mama died! Then I couldn't even think about my balls hurting. Do you see what I'm getting at?"
-Major League 2
"If you're going to ask someone if you can ask them a question, you need to give them time to respond, unless the question is rhetorical, in which case the answer is obvious - 'Yes.'"
-Ocean's 12
"I see the future in this crowd. I see a successful businessman (looks at white kid). I see a physicist (looks at Asian kid). I see a famous rapper! (looks at black kid)."
-Ben Stiller as "Tony Pervis" in Heavyweights
"Excuse me, sir. Could I trouble you for a warm glass of milk?"
"You could trouble me for a warm glass of SHUT THE HELL UP!"
-Ben Stiller in Happy Gilmore
"Your answer was completely and absolutely wrong. That did not make any sense whatsoever. We are all now dumber as a result of listening to it."
-Billy Madison
"And these villagers picked me up and hoisted me atop their shoulders. I think they believed I was God. And for a moment there, so did I."
-Zach in the Wedding Crashers
"Guys, I don't need this stress. I've got this job and I'm working a second job at Bed Bath & Beyond so I can put my kid through NYU so he can explore his sexuality and become a DJ."
-Michael Keaton in The Other Guys
"I'm a peacock, captain! You gotta let me fly!!!!!"
-The Other Guys
Last edited by BajanYankee; 09-15-2011 at 11:40 AM..
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09-15-2011, 12:40 PM
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Location: Arizona
1,034 posts, read 4,223,587 times
Reputation: 1375
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It is kind of silly, but one of my favorite lines of all times is:
Dan Ackroyd, "Where do these stairs go?"
Bill Murray, "They go up."
-Ghostbusters
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09-15-2011, 01:03 PM
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862 posts, read 1,264,972 times
Reputation: 799
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FRIDAY AFTER NEXT- I gotta **** Like a Russian race horse at the Kentucky Derby with a Glue truck behind it!
THE PLAYER'S CLUB- Whats that smell? It smell like badussy...booty d**k and pu**y!
NEXT FRIDAY- Baby Dee sell dope, babysit, and do hair out the same house. Police don't know when to kick the door in!
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09-15-2011, 01:51 PM
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3,550 posts, read 6,106,652 times
Reputation: 3485
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"The sheriff is a nigg*KLANG!!!!*"
"What did he say?"
"He says the sheriff is near!!"
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09-15-2011, 05:53 PM
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Location: Atlanta
668 posts, read 906,625 times
Reputation: 600
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09-16-2011, 04:13 AM
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14 posts, read 16,313 times
Reputation: 22
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Very nice post thanks for sharing it.
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09-16-2011, 08:49 AM
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3,161 posts, read 1,060,904 times
Reputation: 908
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In Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid...when they are going to jump off the cliff into the river....Redford is afraid to jump , says he can"t swim, Newman says... Don't worry, the fall alone will probably kill ya!
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09-17-2011, 04:14 PM
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13,696 posts, read 12,704,028 times
Reputation: 18420
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I don't know how old you are, or how much of a range of movies you've seen, but most of the best lines would probably be prior to 1990. Don't confuse crude with funny.
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09-17-2011, 06:10 PM
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Location: NC, USA
7,084 posts, read 14,031,826 times
Reputation: 4002
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Res Ipso
I suppose Blazing Saddles could have most of them, actually....
"Dock that ***** a day's pay for nappin' on the job!"
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Dang!!! Either "Life of Brian" or "Search for the Holy Grail" are both just filled with great "one liners". It boggles what is left of my mind to contemplate. |
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09-18-2011, 02:51 AM
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Location: Phoenix
2,074 posts, read 2,017,176 times
Reputation: 946
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The predator in predator 2 when his arm is about
to be cut off by the hero. He looks up and says
"Sh-t Happens"  |
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