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This one made me spit out my tea!:
(It's for the inane "License to Wed" with Mandy Moore and Robin Williams)
"Josef Goebbels had a home movie made of the failed 1944 Hitler assassins being hanged from meathooks with piano wire. It probably had more laughs, more fun, more feelgood moments than this family comedy."-
Peter Bradshaw
Guardian [UK]
Not reviews per se but (I think it was Gene Siskel, RIP) who said; "I called the theatre to ask what time the movie started, and they asked 'what time can you get here?'!". I've used that one often enough that it's now considered part of my family lexicon.
A similar idea is a take off on a Flip Wilson (calling a girl for date) bit; "I dialed the first 4 digits and she answered the phone and said 'I'll go!'"
When Lettman does a weak bit, or an actress is uncomfortable with what's going on; "don't worry this won't even stick to the tape".
Roger Ebert (or Siskel) once said; "I don't know how much the Canadian tax break was to film this, but the government should demand their money back".
"Part of being an actor is knowing how to review scripts with a critical eye. Once these actors acquire that skill they'll change their names or buy and burn all copies of this POS". That's a golfgod original, just coined it.
I have to paraphrase because I can't find the exact quote, but there was one plot synopsis of The Wizard of Oz that I ran across: "A troubled, lonely young girl travels to a strange land where she immediately kills one bystander, then sets off on a criminal spree with her newfound companions to kill again."
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