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Old 02-01-2007, 02:47 PM
 
317 posts, read 1,169,707 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nomoresnow View Post
Nancy, I was just wondering what your son's thoughts are about the whole thing. How old is he?

It is very interesting that you ask this question and timely. I believe the current age of your child has a major influence on their attitude about a move. My son is 10. He has been such a trooper through all we have been through. He is willing and will be happy if we move to FL. His 1st preference is to stay here....it is all he knows, and he has lots of friends, is popular (if there is such a thing at their age), and very successful in multiple sports. This year, he is doing better in school than ever...something that he feeling self-confident about.

Anyhow, up until VERY recently (as in the last 4 months)...he had been very enthusiastic about moving. It is only very recently that he has expressed his "not wanting to leave his friends". I can assure you that nothing has changed within this period of time, as we have always been in the "maybe we will stay here, maybe we will go to Fl"...but we'll definitely stay here until you finish 5th grade. We've only lived with 2 options, however....not an infinite, unknown of options, i.e., either we stay where we are or we move to FL - the only two options. Not even a different town in NJ - why would we do that - a change is a change. I want to respond to Cil's post now as it really hit home for me.

Thoughts?
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Old 02-01-2007, 02:51 PM
 
Location: Finally made it to Florida and lovin' every minute!
22,677 posts, read 18,115,307 times
Reputation: 17572
Not having any children of my own, I can only give you an outsider's opinion. He probably feels a lot like my husband and I do....excited until it's reality, then scared once it's fact. I'm sure, as outgiong and athletic as he is that he'd fit in in no time at all. If it's scary for adults, it's got to be scarey for a 10 year old. Hang in there.
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Old 02-01-2007, 02:54 PM
 
Location: Living in Paradise
5,701 posts, read 23,143,429 times
Reputation: 3053
[quote=Nancy Lynne;323593]I had my third telephone interview with the SVP, Marketing today and it went great!

Congratulations on your new job....
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Old 02-01-2007, 02:56 PM
 
317 posts, read 1,169,707 times
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Default Cil...

Quote:
Originally Posted by cil View Post
So is being unhappy.
Go get 'em, Nancy!
If the job does not happen, do not give up. We haven't.
I am desperately unhappy here. There are factors/reasons, which in my personal situation, WOULD change and hopefully result in an improvement in my overall "feeling in life"....

I am surrounded by ex's family...literally in this town. As you may have heard, NJersey folks, especially Italian NJ folks...have a tendency to never leave their home time, generation after generation. Such is the case for me. However, NONE of that former family speaks to me. None. I run into them everywhere....groceries stores, restaurants, school events...and receive only a blank stare. God I would love to not have that in my life on a daily basis.
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Old 02-01-2007, 02:56 PM
 
Location: The Conterminous United States
22,583 posts, read 50,678,295 times
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Nancy, does that custody agreement mean that you can't take your son with you?
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Old 02-01-2007, 04:29 PM
 
60 posts, read 276,663 times
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Default Congratulations on the job

I was feeling down until I read your posts. You gave me hope. I am moving down to Naples this spring and I am very worried about getting a job there. I am also in my 50's and unemployed in NY. I am moving to North Naples which is a little less expensive that downtown Naples.
Use I-75 as your dividing line. West of I-75 towards the beach is very expensive and east is less.
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Old 02-01-2007, 05:19 PM
 
Location: Finally made it to Florida and lovin' every minute!
22,677 posts, read 18,115,307 times
Reputation: 17572
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nancy Lynne View Post
I am desperately unhappy here. There are factors/reasons, which in my personal situation, WOULD change and hopefully result in an improvement in my overall "feeling in life"....

I am surrounded by ex's family...literally in this town. As you may have heard, NJersey folks, especially Italian NJ folks...have a tendency to never leave their home time, generation after generation. Such is the case for me. However, NONE of that former family speaks to me. None. I run into them everywhere....groceries stores, restaurants, school events...and receive only a blank stare. God I would love to not have that in my life on a daily basis.
Nancy, I'm so sorry you're going thru that. I managed to stay friends with my ex's family, but it was difficult running into him and his wife in our small town, even tho he and I had an amicable split. For some reason, his 2nd wife doesn't like me. Her problem, I guess. Chin up, girl. It does make a difference when you don't have those people judging you everywhere you go.
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Old 02-01-2007, 05:42 PM
 
Location: The Conterminous United States
22,583 posts, read 50,678,295 times
Reputation: 13549
I can relate to all of the above.

Southwest Florida can turn into utopia tomorrow. No more crime, perfect schools, high-paying jobs, and affordable houses. I know, there is nowhere that has all that.

Still, I wouldn't move back in a million years.

Know why?

All my in-laws live there!
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Old 02-01-2007, 06:28 PM
 
317 posts, read 1,169,707 times
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Default Hipnaster

Quote:
Originally Posted by hiknapster View Post
Nancy, does that custody agreement mean that you can't take your son with you?
Thank you for your concern. According to our divorce agreement, I CAN take him wherever I need to go - out of state - as long as I am going for a job. I had a successful career, so it wasn't an option that I would be a stay at home mom or financially supported by my ex at all...so continuing to be able to work and find work, would give my license to go --- with my son.

I am dissapointed already, although I shouldn't be, the following is absolutely consistent behavior from my ex. He got a job at the northern tip of NJ - 75 miles away. I commuted to exactly the same town for 7 consecutive years before my son was born, but my ex refused to relocate --- he had a job right here in town. Tonight he tells me that he will be moving "up there". Great, just great! That leaves me as a single parent, ultimately, once again! .....and left alone in a town filled with HIS family, who have never done even ONE thing to help me in raising our son, (their nephew, grandson, etc.) no offer to ever babysit him, etc., during the two years I was here with him all alone while my EX worked in SC.

Yes, we are amicable, as long as it works for him.

On the flip side, even if I don't get the job....the short "high" that I felt when I thought I might actually be getting away from here and the family drama.....told me that it would probably be best to continue to follow this dream - even if this job doesn't pan out. I will keep looking. I don't know if he would have ever really followed us to FL anyhow. So far, he has never kept any of him promises to me...but I am an eternal optimist!

God, I am sorry for this long message and for sharing all my personal baggage, but you all have so supportive.

Please, please, give me your continued thoughts. It sure is alot less expensive than therapy!!!!
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Old 02-01-2007, 06:44 PM
 
Location: Philly to Odessa
436 posts, read 1,289,080 times
Reputation: 177
Hi Nancy,
We've spoken before. I once was in your situation through a divorce with a son left to raise....all promises from dad, yes child support, but no real parent support through the years. Remarried since, I've added more children to my family and my first born is now 23. He saw his dad inconsistently through the years, but maintained some sort of father-son relationship. I am now relocating to Florida...Tampa suburbs. My son, at 23, had the chance to really decide on his own. He has decided to go back to school in Tampa to give a new career path and Florida a try. I am thrilled, even though he has made me no promises to stay. The point here is that his father did not even come into his thought processes. Now I know your son is a lot younger, but he knows who has really been there with him and children need their moms. Follow your dream of living in Florida. Your son is scared of the move the same way my younger children are of mine. When we went looking at houses they were all excited and now that it is becoming a reality, they are all having second thoughts (as I am too), but you have to have the courage to imagine yourself as well as your son as having a new and different life. He will make friends, play sports, etc. And if it doesn't work out, you move back. I even said that and I am having a home built, but guess what if we were that unhappy we would pick ourselves up by our bootstraps and start over. I am desperately hoping that is not the case (could you imagine?!) ugh! But for right now we are forging straight ahead. I hope you do that too. I can tell you've wanted that for so long. So congratulations and good luck. Maybe we'll see each other on a beach sometime!
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