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Old 02-02-2007, 10:57 AM
 
317 posts, read 1,169,892 times
Reputation: 167

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Of course I remember talking to you. Thank you. Your post brought me to tears. Please stay in touch and keep me posted on your steps forward. The ex just called...and acted shocked that I would take a job in FL and take my son! Are you kidding me? I would NEVER live without him and vice versa. What does he think I am going to do.....sit here and live off the $ I made from selling my house...and put a roof over my son's head and give him a life...with no job? Man, it is conversations like this with him, that remind me of why we are divorced. As usual, I am TOTALLY 100% on my own. Why did I think this situation would be any different. He asks me....."what about my relationship with my son"? He asks ME? Ohhhhhhh, I am so aggravated. It is so tough being divorced (yet connected) to someone that is difficult. Even more difficult than being married to someone difficult......is being divorced (and connected because of kids) to someone that is difficult I am sure some of you can relate, by pray that you don't and haven't and never will have to.




Quote:
Originally Posted by Margel View Post
Hi Nancy,
We've spoken before. I once was in your situation through a divorce with a son left to raise....all promises from dad, yes child support, but no real parent support through the years. Remarried since, I've added more children to my family and my first born is now 23. He saw his dad inconsistently through the years, but maintained some sort of father-son relationship. I am now relocating to Florida...Tampa suburbs. My son, at 23, had the chance to really decide on his own. He has decided to go back to school in Tampa to give a new career path and Florida a try. I am thrilled, even though he has made me no promises to stay. The point here is that his father did not even come into his thought processes. Now I know your son is a lot younger, but he knows who has really been there with him and children need their moms. Follow your dream of living in Florida. Your son is scared of the move the same way my younger children are of mine. When we went looking at houses they were all excited and now that it is becoming a reality, they are all having second thoughts (as I am too), but you have to have the courage to imagine yourself as well as your son as having a new and different life. He will make friends, play sports, etc. And if it doesn't work out, you move back. I even said that and I am having a home built, but guess what if we were that unhappy we would pick ourselves up by our bootstraps and start over. I am desperately hoping that is not the case (could you imagine?!) ugh! But for right now we are forging straight ahead. I hope you do that too. I can tell you've wanted that for so long. So congratulations and good luck. Maybe we'll see each other on a beach sometime!
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Old 02-02-2007, 01:25 PM
 
31 posts, read 121,551 times
Reputation: 28
Default North Naples

My family just moved from Massachusetts to Florida. My husband took a job promotion and moved down here in November. I have three children 14, 13, and 12. It was a hard move, because they loved their school (private) and miss their friends, but they seem to have adjusted.

We still have our house up for sale in Mass. so we are renting right now and really enjoy it. The kids love the fact that they can go swimming in the winter

They are adjusted to public schools and have made friends.

I am still looking for a job (we've only been here for 5 weeks), but I've been to two agencies.

We left all our family, but we (hope) to make new friends and enjoy our new life style.
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Old 02-02-2007, 04:56 PM
 
168 posts, read 730,855 times
Reputation: 100
hi, nancy - i think at 10 years old your son might be able to adjust to new surroundings really well. i am thinking of a time we moved for about seven months to stay with my grandmother in north carolina; i was 13 and it was definitely NOT a good time to be yanked away from the only home i knew.

i think it would be more difficult of an adjustment for a young teen - we all went through some pretty crazy teen-scream times; i'm sure it hasn't changed much!

but 10 ... i think he'll just love it. he might get a bit homesick for "what he knew" but if you are happy and thriving, i think he will be too.

a coworker of mine moved his family from california to florida when their boys were 5 and 10 (in 2000) and i met them within a month of their move and both of the boys were already fully involved in their neighborhood, running around the house, jumping in their pool (which they didn't have in california) - and couldn't wait til school started. they're now completely involved in activities, sports, the works.

also, just keep at it if this job falls through, because the time is now to make the break from all those sullen faces in jersey that don't even have the decency to speak to their former in-law. i think you will probably get this job in naples, but if you don't, even a move to an adjoining town might not be a bad idea.
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Old 02-02-2007, 07:43 PM
 
458 posts, read 526,731 times
Reputation: 136
Naples is awesome. It is not hot and humid at all. I lived in Pensacola, Ft. Worth, New Jersey...they are humid in the summer. Naples has an afternoon humidity that averages below 60%, even in the summer

Naples is not that humid at all and if she has a job there she is in great shape. There are tons of great jobs there in health care, financial services, etc. Naples has an affluent older population that need many services and they pay well for them.
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Old 02-02-2007, 08:32 PM
 
168 posts, read 730,855 times
Reputation: 100
to clarify my statement in previous post which read: even a move to an adjoining town might not be a bad idea.

i was not referring to an adjoining town in naples....since, of course, if you don't get the job there will have been no MOVE to naples...i was referring to possibly moving to another nearby city in NEW JERSEY to get away from the same stores, etc, that you frequent where you say you constantly run into former in-laws (and how you can't stand seeing them because they ignore you).

best of luck, nancy - get pumped up for the interview and nail that job!
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Old 02-02-2007, 08:44 PM
 
168 posts, read 730,855 times
Reputation: 100
"Also keep in mind that venturing too far into the "wild" might make you a statistic: you will be gator food or lose a limb. Gators are running out of room and are getting more aggressive."

it's a wonder i can still walk and use my arms - i mean, all those nature walks in all parts of southern florida and north central florida (and even the panhandle), all those nature trails, greenways, lake walks, boat rides, all those off the beaten trails (former member of the Florida Trail Association, Gainesville) - why i think i need to do a limb roll call!

ready? okay...left leg - still have it! right leg - still have it! left arm - still have it! right arm - still have it!

give me a minute and i'll check with everyone else i know in florida - mainly childhood friends since the early 50s who have also spent their fair share of time out in the "wilds" and not so "wilds" of florida - to see if they too still have their limbs. you never know. they could be gator food right this very minute.

i bet there is a booming business in prostetics in florida. right?
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Old 02-03-2007, 07:10 AM
 
Location: Finally made it to Florida and lovin' every minute!
22,677 posts, read 18,119,210 times
Reputation: 17572
Florigidge, you're a hoot!

I've been missing my head for a few years now...do you think a gator might have got it last time I visited Disney??? If someone happens to find it, would you please return it to me here in NY? Reward offered. Not a big one, though. That brain was seldom used.
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Old 02-03-2007, 02:16 PM
 
17 posts, read 64,916 times
Reputation: 20
Thumbs up Go for it!!!

Hey Nancy just been catching up on your posts since your return from Satellite Beach, which I see did not go so well......but hey see how things work out they say when one door closes another opens!!!!! Good Luck!!!! I will be following your move & I hope its to NAPLES!!! Marilyn
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Old 02-03-2007, 02:54 PM
 
Location: The Conterminous United States
22,583 posts, read 50,693,821 times
Reputation: 13549
Quote:
Originally Posted by JimKing View Post
Naples is awesome. It is not hot and humid at all.
I can't believe no one has called him on this statement.

Anyway, good luck Nancy Lynne. I keep thinking about you. I was once in a boat very similar to yours. I am not even really worrying about you moving to Naples. What has me worried is that ex-husband. They can be very uninterested and then suddenly get nasty due to vindictiveness or not wanting to pay child support.
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Old 02-03-2007, 09:11 PM
 
232 posts, read 846,282 times
Reputation: 53
Nancy what was wrong with satellite beach?? I just read a post stating it was a great place with great schools????
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